Dog vs. cupcake wrapper

As if I don't have enough going on in my life, today while sitting at my computer answering emails and planting a few crops, my dog got into the trash can under my desk and grabbed the paper wrapper from a muffin I had devoured.

I had just disposed of it, nonchalantly while I worked, but it had no sooner dropped into the can and it was in the jaws of my puppy. Who immediately took off running, me at his heels, chewing frantically, gobbling it down his gullet as if his life depended on it.

By the time I had a treat to exchange with him, the wrapper was gone.

I told myself to remain calm. Do not panic.

What to do? What to do?

First, I tried calling my dog expert friend Kelly. When I got no answer there, I turned to the Internet and posted my dilemma on my Facebook account, hoping against hope for immediate help. When that too proved, futile, I Googled, dog eating a cupcake wrapper.

Thank god, help at last.

Several websites assured me that dogs are dumb as shit and will eat anything and everything, but that paper cupcake wrappers will pass on through their delicate little systems and be waiting in their poop in the next day or so.

What a relief! But because I didn't entirely believe these websites, certain my puppy eating a cupcake wrapper was a much greater issue than any other cupcake wrapper eating puppy in the history of the universe, I kept on reading.

And found David D.'s response to this very question on yahoo answers: (I took the liberty of a little editing)

• Assuming from your question, your dog ate ONLY the wrapper, feed your dog an approved chocolate cupcake substitute (no wrapper) immediately if not sooner! Be sure and feed her a choc. substitute as chocolate really is not a good food for your dog, especially if she is white, as it has a tendency to turn her fur a chocolate color. Don't worry about the little amount on the inside of the wrapper as that small amount will not harm her. It will probably only make her horny.

When I got to the third sentence of this paragraph, I was seriously annoyed. Do people not have better things to do then to be smart asses? This poor person - like myself - was asking the Internet gods for help and instead, she receives these racists answers?

I did, however, keep reading and when I got to the second sentence in the second paragraph, I spat out any and all remaining muffin bits lurking in my mouth because I was laughing my head off. I admit it. I went from annoyance to laughter in two seconds flat.

• Hopefully, the cupcake will mate with the wrapper and the dog will "poop" them both out....the cupcake wrapped in its original wrapper. I'll leave it up to your discretion as to whether you want to serve it to your guests. Also, store it in a place your dog can't get at it in order to save you from the same problem! As for your dog, no, she will not die, However, it's up to you to follow her around waiting for that precious little "package" to appear!"

Although I still think David D. needs something more to fill his time.

As for my dog, he appears quite normal. It reminds me of the story a co-worker told of his dog eating a tube sock and how he hadn't a clue his dog had done this until the day his dog pooped out the tube sock completely intact.

I am now going to anxiously await the day of the cupcake/muffin wrapper poop, and just because I know everyone will wonder, I shall photograph it. Stay tuned!

Update: My dog did poop out the wrapper the next day, and no, I did not take pictures. I think the wrapper added some much-needed fiber, and I'm wondering if this might be a solution to constipation. I might consider it if he is ever unable to poop, a problem I have yet to notice.

Here, however, is the bottom line for people who have found this blog entry through Google and need the truth and not some smart-ass, wise-cracking David D answer:

 Don't worry about the cupcake wrapper your dog just ate. It will do him/her no harm.