Thursday, February 11, 2010

Good fences make good neighbors

My mother was, and still is, a big Robert Frost fan. She met him once and we grew up with her reciting his poetry almost weekly. In school we studied his poetry, discussing why "good fences make good neighbors". While I understood his concept, I didn't really get it.

I grew up in a wonderful neighborhood in Indiana. We knew our neighbors. We socialized with our neighbors, we celebrated with our neighbors and even vacationed with our neighbors. Those neighbors who worked knew those staying at home would watch out for their properties and their children.

We knew our neighbors by name and most times even those of their relatives. When someone new moved into the neighborhood, adults and kids made sure to welcome them. If there ever was a problem between neighbors, they talked it out. Everyone in our neighborhood roamed from one yard to another. If a neighbor's yard worked the best for the day's activity, that's where we played. No need to inquire of the owners, we knew it was fine.

The unspoken rule in our neighborhood: What's mine is yours.

There were no fences in my neighborhood.

Moving into our neighborhood in Florida, I was shocked when no one introduced themselves. I was even more shocked by how no one waved when we passed by on foot or in a car and how each yard had a fence. It took several months and new neighbors moving in before our neighborhood became friendly.

We replaced the wooden fence in our backyard with a chain link fences so we could see and talk to our neighbors behind us. We even put in a gate when we discovered the neighbors behind us had a daughter a few days younger than Madison.

Our street became one of the few in our neighborhood association where the board didn't receive complaints mainly because we worked together to solve problems. While our neighborhood isn't anything like the one in Indiana, I can honestly say that I won't leave my current house because of the great neighbors I have surrounding me.

Then along came Elliot.


He isn't the first dog in the neighborhood. All of my surrounding neighbors have dogs. Most of them have had dogs for over ten years, and while I wasn't a dog person I put up with the barking and growling and jumping, and never said a word when a dog would enter my house while accompanying its owner.

Now that we have joined the ranks of dog ownership (not by my choice, may I remind everyone) and now because we have a puppy who is more rambunctious and eager at spying the other dogs, apparently he's too much for one of my neighbors.

This became apparent when she came outside to tell me the following:

Her: "He is too rambunctious and our dog is too old to have your dog barking and coming over. She isn't getting her business taken care of in the morning and we can't have that."

Me: "So, what would you suggest I do?"

Her: "Well, our dog does her business between 7:30 and 8:30 in the morning so Elliot can come outside after that."

While not happy with her tone, we adjusted Elliot's morning routine. We began taking him in the backyard if he needed out between those hours and we waited to walk him until after her dog had returned from her morning walk.

The next confrontation came after Elliot and the dog on the other side of her became friends. They frolic together, chasing each other from one yard to the next which means they run through her yard as she sits in the middle of the two of us.


Her: "Why can't you take him to a dog park and let him run around?" she asked me. When I explained that my dog has car sickness she turned her head and huffed. I was told to train him to stay in his own yard.

Me: "Oh, our vet told us not to take him to a dog park until he is older. Besides, I can't imagine how we'd get him to a place to run because Elliot really, really hates being in a car. It's the craziest thing."

Her: "Well, every time Elliot is outside, our dog barks and we can't have that."

Me: "Uh..."

Suddenly, my neighbor refuses to acknowledge me. If she is in her car, she drives past me as if I'm invisible. If I wander am outside when she is outside, she immediately turns and goes inside. Yesterday afternoon I went outside to walk Elliot and she and her unleashed dog were in her yard. I called hello and she bent over to pick up something, giving me her backside.

Apparently, she is right and I am wrong.

So much for any past relationship we had. It has now ended because of our puppy. Who truly doesn't even pay attention to her dog.

Now, I understand Robert Frost.

1 comment:

  1. it's very sad that it has come to this. what is her problem anyway? and does her boyfriend have anything to say about it?

    ReplyDelete