Learning off the net

While shifting through the lead "newsy" articles on Yahoo the other day to give me something to do while converting slides, I came across this Yahoo Health article titled, 4 Mistakes Everyone Makes When Fighting Ab Flab.  First of all, I didn't know that everyone was fighting ab flab.  I thought it was just me.  While the pounds slipped off of me this summer and got flushed down the toilet along with the rest of my illness, my abs seemed to stay the same  Floppy, jiggly, dough-boy proportions.  So this article naturally caught my eye.

1. Parking in front of the TV -  Watching TV for two or more hours a day weaken the abs and back muscles up to 10%!  It doesn't say how or why, but the article suggests scheduling your TV time around your gym time so that you can kill two birds with one stone. - Sounds great, but not possible.  I very rarely watch live TV anymore.  Why would anyone?  The DVR is the greatest invention ever, and I wish I had the rewind in my every day life.  My gym does not have my recordings on its fifty televisions so this is not going to help me.  Apparently going to the gym and then watching more then two hours of TV doesn't help in the fight against flab.  I wonder what five hours at the computer blogging are doing for my abs?  Obviously, I'm going to have to give up TV to get my abs in shape.  I'm thinking a week ought to do it.
2. Stressing out - We have a stress hormone called cortisol that raises when stressed and that increases the ab fat.  The article says we must learn to breathe. - Hmmm...learn to breathe?  In through the nose and out through the mouth.  Interesting concept.  I'll try it starting now since cortisol is obviously raging through my body 24/7.
3. Diving into that darn breadbasket -  Unless the bread is whole wheat and then you can have 3 ounces a day!  White fluffy rolls are a no no for the abs. - Okay, no more bread in a basket at my dinner table.  Funny, no mention of how eating at home instead of eating out might help.
4. Munching late-night -  Bodies do not burn as much overnight as during the day when we are active.  Stop eating two hours before going to bed. - Well, this seems easy enough.  After that last bowl of ice cream, cake, or cookies I'll just turn on the TV and watch it for two hours before I go to bed.  Oh, wait...