Hoping to escape arrest

When I was a kid I was a good kid.

I didn't make waves.  I didn't cause trouble.  I didn't stay out late at night.  I followed the rules.  Just the thought of doing something that might be consider wrong or against the law made me break into a sweat.  I like to say it was the fear of facing my parents that kept me on the straight and narrow, and probably that was part of it, but I just wanted to be a law abiding citizen and not make any waves that would upset people.

Yesterday after visiting the Foot God we were stopped at the stop light right outside the Foot Center.  Connie pointed across the street to a closed down golf course where a magnolia tree stood in full bloom.  The tree was on the golf course property, but also to our left on the other side of a ditch and behind a barrier from the main road.  Connie got all excited and told me to turn left and get her some blossoms off of the tree.  I said there was no where to park and pointed out to her that I would then have to climb over the barrier and jump across the ditch to even get to the tree.  Connie told me I was no fun.

She sat silently while we waited for the light and then pointed out to me, something I had already seen, that I could go straight, pull into the golf course, drive around through the broken down parking lot til I was close to the tree, get out and walk down to the magnolia tree.  She whined about how I never do anything that she wants me to do.  I explained to her my feelings on the matter:

Me:  "That would mean that I would first have to go into a property that is closed."
Connie:  "The parking lot isn't closed off.  I bet people sneak in there and hit golf balls.  I would.  In fact I might just sneak in there and hit golf balls when my foot is healed."
Me:  "Maybe so, but you want me to then drive around, climb out and trespass on the property.  I'm sure there are posted signs about trespassing.  And even if I did that, even if I followed through and trespassed, then I would have to be pulling off blossoms on a tree that is exposed to the main road where everyone will drive past and see me.  I'm not comfortable with people seeing me.  Seeing me trespass no less, but just seeing me and maybe honking or worse recognizing me and honking, and then maybe taking pictures and posting them on youtube.  Then there would be proof of me trespassing and stealing magnolia blossoms.  That is what goes through my head when you tell me to do things like that."
Connie:  "Well, no wonder why you aren't fun.  You need to live a little."

And so just to shut her up, and only because it would give me something to blog about, I did it.  I sneaked into the parking lot and circled around until I was close to the tree area.  I rationed with myself that the trespassing signs on the building were for the building only and I hiked through the rough of the golf course.  As I walked through trees and got closer to the magnolia, animals began scurrying through the brush that covered the ground.  I suddenly wondered if perhaps an alligator might be sunning under the magnolia after climbing up out of the water drainage ditch beside the tree.  I thought it would serve Connie right to loose me to an alligator trying to do something illegal for her.  I wondered if I would scream when he grabbed me and if Connie would even hear me scream.  And since she couldn't come get me even if I did scream,  I tried to remember all the alligator awareness videos I have seen since moving to Florida.

(Yes, I know this isn't an alligator, but it was taken at the alligator farm)

I slowed down and looked around carefully.  I couldn't see the car or Connie anymore, but I could see the road and all of the cars zipping quickly past.  I moved closer to the tree where huge blossoms had bloomed and were open wide to the sun.  Magnolia blossoms are quite sturdy, and I studied the first one closest to me wondering how in the world I was suppose to pick it.  I reached up, apologized to the tree, and snapped off the blossom and part of the branch.  I then proceeded to snap off two more in rapid succession, thanked the tree and then got the hell out of dodge.

I laid the blossoms on the back seat behind Connie.  A big spider leapt out of one of the blossoms and ran out of my vision somewhere into the car.  I spent quite a few moments searching for him, but decided that getting caught trespassing and stealing would be way worse then a spider crawling around in the car.  So I got in the car and drove out of the parking lot.  

We got back to Connie's and in the process of her climbing up the stairs, me carrying up oxygen and the wheelchair, we forgot about the blossoms in the back seat.  It wasn't until a couple of hours later that I remembered the spider which in turn made me remember the blossoms.  They were a tad wilted when I brought them inside, but Connie went to work on reviving them.  Because they were so big she only had one container to float one blossom in and so she put the other two in her kitchen sink.

She was quite happy with her flowers and thrilled with her day of leading her daughter down the path of illegal activity fun entertainment.

I was just happy that I wasn't caught, but now I have to worry about that spider next week, because I am definitely not an animal lover...