Parenting 101

I've been spoiled with the behavior of my girls. I have two kids that, despite their Mason genetics, have turned out way better than I could have hoped. I give myself credit for the most part, along with their father, and so I also take responsibility when the behavior turns and goes down the toilet.

For about a year now my youngest has taken advantage of the amount of freedom we allow her and her sister. I've had to squelch some behavior issues and she has spent some time in solitary confinement, meaning a life without television. She use to have a conscious when it came to naughtiness and she would feel guilt and remorse, but lately she just seems to feel irritation at having to change her ways. That worries me more than the other stuff. This week it all came to a head and I spent one late evening talking with her. The next day it was as if the talk had never happened and we were back to square one.

I blame myself, because in the end isn't it always the parent's fault? I remember being in her shoes a few times. That feeling of "my mother has no idea" and "I'll never treat my kids like she does". The difference is that in my day we feared our parents. We didn't dare do things outside the perimeter our parents set because the chances of getting caught and punished far outweighed any instant fun. We also learned to be sneaky and not to get caught, but there was always that thought that if we did our lives were over. Kids today don't fear us. We haven't installed that fear in them like our parents did. We've been too lax, too friendly, too comfortable, too "I'll never treat my kids like that". I'm not saying I want my daughter to be afraid of me, but I do expect respect and I do expect her to tell the truth.

She and I have worked out an agreement on how to best handle the future, and after two days we are chugging along. Of course, she has nothing else to do having lost the privilege of all electronics, including her phone, ipod, computer, and trips out with friends. She seems to be adapting to the shorter chain quicker then I thought she would so perhaps she was looking for more guidance?  I can hope.  Her interest in school work has gone up a notch and she is spending more time on homework then she ever did. I'm hoping this attitude keeps up, but I'm also realistic. I don't want to squelch what makes her unique, but then I also don't want her to become unrecognizable. 

It is a learning experience this parenting, and one I wouldn't trade for in a million years.  It ain't easy and there are no direct answers or a help line, but together the girls and I truck on learning as we go.  If only I had more sleep...