Sunday, April 29, 2012

Aurora has become sleeping beauty

When Madison was a baby the only place she would sleep during the day was in her swing.  Or if someone was holding her in his arms.  She wouldn't sleep in a bed or in a car or in a stroller.  Only on rare occasions would she fall asleep in any of those other places, and if she woke up there was no going back to sleep.  Tom and I would hold our breath when she feel asleep in her car seat.  We would have to quietly and slowly take the seat out of the car and put it in her crib.  There was no one we could remove her first from the seat without her waking, and once awake, she stayed that way.

As she got too old for the swing our pediatrician laid down the law.  She has to nap during the day and she has to do this in her bed.  I tried to make sure that our mornings were full of activity so that when it was nap time she would sleep.  I would darken the room, turn on her lullaby tape recorder, close the door, cross my fingers and hope for the best.  Most of the time she slept, but it would take her twenty minutes or so of talking and singing to herself before she drifted off.  Sometimes she would cry herself to sleep while I cringed in a corner in the room farthest from the crying, my milk coming in at the sounds and staining my bra and shirt.  Eventually she learned that nap time happened every day and it was a good time to rejuvenate.


When she turned one year old she was frustrated with sleeping because THERE WAS TOO MUCH TO DO.  Her crib was against the wall between her bedroom door and the door leading into what was then our computer room.  I would put her down, tell her to sleep tight, turn on her music, darken the room, give her Elmo, and back out of the room.  I would do a few chores and stop and listen.  Silence from her room.  I would tip toe to her door, open it a few inches, and she would immediately stand up in her crib, a big smile on her face.  "All done!" she would say, and then cry when I told her nap time wasn't over.  I would feel like a heel, more frustrated then before.


Eventually I learned NOT TO OPEN THE DOOR.  Instead I would work in the other rooms and hope that the silence meant she was sleeping.  On days when I needed the computer I would wait awhile and then quietly do the tip toe routine into the den.  I would cringe at every little sound; the creaking of the chair as I hefted my weight in it, the scraping of the mouse against its pad as I moved it, the clicking of the keys as I tapped.  Many days her little hand would turn the doorknob, shove open the door, and a voice would say, "Hi Mama!  All done!"

When I got pregnant with Darcy I was worn out each day at nap time.  Again my pediatrician stepped in with advice:  put her in her room for quiet time.  We told her she could play or read in bed, but that she couldn't get up until we told her she could.  So she did exactly that.  Rarely did she sleep.  She would do puzzles, read books, and play with Elmo singing and talking to him for two hours.  I got so that I was afraid to sleep myself so I started sleeping on the bed with her.  I would sleep and she would play.  When she discovered jumping on the bed I let her move to the floor to play so that she wouldn't jump on my belly.  After Darcy was born, I said screw it and nap time went out the door.

For years Madison slept only at night unless she was sick, and even then sleeping during the day was rare.  If she awoke in the night or early morning hours, then she was awake.  She had a hard time falling back to sleep.  I use to cringe when a lawn mower started up in the morning or a dog barked because then I knew Maddy would be awake and it was too early.  I worried constantly about her lack of eight hours of sleep.

Fast forward to high school.  Now this child wants to do nothing but sleep.  It started probably six months before high school started.  She stayed up late and slept later in the morning.  Now that she gets up at 5:45 AM (not that she gets up then, but she is awaken) and doesn't go to bed until after midnight due to papers, projects, and homework on the weekends all she cares about is sleeping.

She sleeps until someone wakes her.  Last weekend no one was home and she slept until 1:30 PM.  Sometimes she comes home from school so tired that she goes into her room and NAPS for 45 minutes.  The first time she did that I stood over her and just stared and stared.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  My first born actually taking a nap!

Nothing has changed for me.  I still worry because she doesn't get her eight hours except on the weekends.  I shush people all weekend long so that she can catch up on her sleep.  I still yell at her to get to bed during the week.  But I've learned that no matter how much sleep or lack of it that she gets she is able to function and hold it together.

I just wish that I could do the same when it came to her sleeping patterns.

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