Austin's tips for porta-potty use

While headed to the county fair during our Indiana trip, it was mentioned that we should probably pull over at a fast food place to use the facilities to avoid using the fair's porta-potties. Austin, who spent considerable time one summer with an ex-girlfriend selling fresh fruits and vegetables in the middle of fields and parking lots, piped up from the back seat with porta-potty usage advice. 

Austin's 10 tips for port-a-potty usage

1. If you can, learn the cleaning schedule - Knowing this helpful information, you can always be assured of a fresh, clean john as the first user.
2. The wad and throw method - If you happen to be the first person in the porta-potty, throw a huge wad of toilet paper down into the hole to prevent blue splash-back. This can be very difficult to remove. 
3. Peer first -  Check the hole before usage because adding to an already significant build-up might send things over the edge. In this case, use another porta-potty.
4. Arm yourself - Check trashcans for cardboard on your way to the porta-potty. These can be torn up and fitted over the seats as a barrier.
5. On the way in - Bugs can create havoc for potty users, so to decrease the chance of pests, wipe the outside of the air vents before entering. 
6. Once inside - Always properly shut and bolt the door to avoid unwanted visitors.
7. Or - If in an uncrowded and secluded area, using a rock to prop open the door offers better airflow.
8. Afterwards - Carrying hand sanitizer is a good rule of thumb for life, especially in areas where porta-potty usage is high. You can't always count on sinks and soaps.
9. Snakes - It is a myth that snakes like to inhabit porta-potties. But if you do have concerns in this area, do not shine your cell phone light down the hole in case you drop it.
10. Usage after dark - Do not use a porta-potty after dark as the company will not check first before carting the facility away.