Just a few reasons why I love this woman

Me: (singing)  "Happy Day After Your Birthday to you. I didn't want to call on that day like everyone else. I'm calling now to extend the fun. Happy Day After Your Birthday to you!"

Sharon: "Who is this?"

***

Me: "Did you like my card? I loved that card."

Sharon: "You and my mom were the only cards I received on the day of my birthday."

Me:  "But did you like the card? I thought the card was the best. It was kind of pricey, but I loved it so much I bought it."

Sharon: "Yes, I turned the card over first thing to see how much you thought I was worth."

***

The card read on the outside: "We will be friends until death." Inside: "And then I hope we will be ghost friends, and we will walk through walls and scare the shit out of people. That will be so fun!"

Me: "I read the card to everyone. Tom thought it appropriate. Madison rolled her eyes."

Sharon: "Then she will be the first person we scare the shit out of when we walk through walls."

***

Me: "Uh, Sharon. It's been awful quiet for the last twenty minutes. Where are the boys?"

Sharon: "They're fine. I gave them knives to play with."

Me: "Of course. Good thinking."

Sharon: "Some moms give lollipops, but that doesn't last long. Give them knives and it keeps them occupied forever. Well, until someone bleeds. But that hasn't happened yet."