Suz

I had seen the pictures of course, and she was beautiful, but seeing her bald in person made it all real. She has cancer and this is her life now; fighting to stay alive. She and her family have adjusted to pain, pills, tiredness, and doctor visits. I was glad I was able to help in whatever way I could, but I was more grateful to be here to hug them all. Gently for her because of her port. I've had to learn.

The day of her chemo treatment brought back memories of my mother. I felt anxious as we arrived, but she was so calm and directed me to sit while she checked in. We made jokes and chatted with a couple who had ties to Florida. My brother arrived and the three of us trooped inside to begin the ritual she does every twenty one days. She sat and had her vitals taken and then moved into another room where blood was taken, questions were asked, and her port was cleaned. I watched it all and it was real.

We moved into the large open chemo room with its wall of large windows and open cubicles of recliners, warm light, and baskets of hospitality. She settled into a recliner and explained the process to me as the nurse hooked her up to an IV pole with bags and bags of chemicals. From there it was just a waiting game as the foreign chemical combinations dripped into her port to kill the cancerous mass in her body. She was positive through it all talking and laughing and preparing me for what might come. The advocate from the local Pink Ladies organization showed up and sat with us, and before I knew it hours had passed and it was all over. She was unhooked, given her appointment calendar for the month, and we were once again back outside in our car. In, bam, boom, ba, and out. Just another day of fighting cancer.

By the end of my visit I wasn't as startled by her lack of hair. She tolerates the drugs better than I expected. She is determined not to let it all define her. She forces herself to get up out of her spot on the couch to get needed items herself so that she doesn't just curl up into a ball and fade away. She has a lot of pain at times, nausea at other times. Her bones ache after the bone marrow shot the day after the chemo treatment and she moves slower, but it doesn't stop her. She gets her daughter up and ready for school. She carries on her household duties when she has good moments, cleaning rooms and handling the laundry. She fixes herself food when she is able and keeps track of all the medication that she needs to take. She is determined to beat this terrible disease.

I was only there a week, but it was enough to enter their world and catch a glimpse of life with cancer. They work together. They have faith and a positive attitude. Together they will all beat this and move on to their next phase of life. It is important to her that life continue on with every day activities and the mundane. I am in awe of them, of her.

I know we all do what we have to do in tough situations, but I have to say that this family is special. They just keep getting up when life knocks them down and they keep forging ahead, pushing aside the bad and pulling in the good. I have watched her develop from a young girl to a mother to a woman. She is strong, fierce, loving, determined and faithful. Cancer might slow her down and it scares the hell out of her, but it doesn't define her and she will not let it win. She stands straight and tall with a smile on her face. I love her. She is my heroine, and I am so glad that she is my family.