Operation Rescue Grandma

When we first arrived at the Edinburgh Castle we found there was no parking so we started out to find a space near by. We lucked out. We got a front row parking spot at the end of a row of cars right at the crossing intersection to the hill that led to the castle. Of course it wasn't free and that meant we all had to empty our pockets and purses in search of coins to fill the meter. Tom decided an hour and a half was enough time to view this large castle and so he announced we needed to be back by 2:00 pm or we would need to feed the meter again.

We were past the point of correction (ok, I might have mentioned that the castle seemed quite large and was maybe more than an hour and a half viewing) and headed off toward the castle. Once there we went our separate ways. A little before two o'clock I received a text from Tom telling me that he and Grandma were at the entrance with Darcy and I needed to join them. I did. We sat and waited for Madison, but Tom got impatient and suggested that he and Grandma go ahead to the car.

Tom: "We walk slower so we will get a head start."

Off they went. Madison texted she was lost and so I told her to just start walking downhill. Darcy and I left the entrance and headed toward the entrance/exit where they sell the tickets. It is quite the little hike from the castle entrance to the attraction's exit.

Darcy and I waited by the gift shops for Madison who eventually found her way out and sidled past us. We joined her and started the downhill trek. We came to a fork  that went left or a right swerve and then straight. I was taking pictures and was heading down the right when I noticed the girls taking the left. I argued. They reminded me they were younger and had better memories and so I went that way and quickly remembered it as the incline I had had to hike up. Now we went down.

I spent most of the time trying not to slide down the incline or fall. I wondered about how well Grandma had done getting down. It seemed to take forever, and I was waiting for annoying texts from Tom asking our ETA. We made it down the hill and across the intersection to the car where we found NOTHING. No Tom. No Grandma. Just an empty car.

I immediately got frustrated. My legs were killing me and the only thing that got me down the hill was the thought of the water I had in the car and the thought of sitting down in the car. Now I couldn't do either. We waited. Eventually we sat down on a ledge along the sidewalk. We waited. And waited. The more we waited the more frustrated and annoyed I got. I had wanted to finish touring the castle, but Tom had vetoed that because of the stupid parking. Now we were here at the parking place and he wasn't. I texted him.

Me: "We are at the car. Where are you?"
Tom: "Grandma taking the scenic route. Slow."

That really got me annoyed. Here they were touring a city I would like to be touring while we sat and waited for them? What the hell? I did some complaining about my husband. Darcy started complaining about hunger and eventually her mood equaled mine. Madison tried to remain optimistic. She told me she thought Tom and Grandma were probably lost. She texted Tom, but never once did he admit that. He kept texting things that made it seem like he and his mother were playing tourist. I kept complaining. Madison filled the meter with more money. Darcy put her head down on her knees and grumbled about passing out on the sidewalk. We people watched. Finally after half and hour I got up and hiked to the museum across the street to use the toilet.

The accommodations were wonderful with paper towels. I used the facilities, washed my face, rinsed out my mouth and then toured the museum. Tom texted me asking for our street name. I texted back I had no idea that I was in a museum. I thought, "Take that buddy. You're touring, and so am I!" He kept texting me he needed that information, and I told him to text Madison who was sitting outside the car. Only she wasn't. She and Darcy had taken my suggestion and were in the museum utilizing the restroom facilities too. I found Darcy and she and I went off to strike a coin. Madison finally found us and announced that Tom had left Grandma sitting somewhere and was trying to find the car. He was lost.

At this point I laughed. Why he hadn't just said he was lost in the first place is beyond me. That is a man thing for sure. Here I thought he and Grandma were off touring Edinburgh while we sat at the car so it wouldn't be towed. I wandered some more through the museum and then we peeked over the wall to see Tom coming down the hill. We joined him.

Tom: "We have to get Grandma. I left her sitting outside some hotel. We have to get her. Get in the car. This is so ridiculous. We wasted so much time. She has no idea. I don't even know how to get her. I have to program the GPS. I need street names."

We climbed into the car while he tried to program Maude. He was ranting and raving the whole time. Apparently they had taken the wrong fork in the road, the one I had almost taken.

Tom: "Because she insisted this was the way. Then we walked too far and missed our left turn. I knew it right away, but she kept saying she knew. Then we got down there and nothing looked familiar and she insisted we turn this way and then she would stop and say it didn't look right. Then we turned to the right and started circling the castle. Mother kept saying this doesn't look familiar and I think we need to keep circling. It was so ridiculous. We just kept circling the castle. And it is big. We circled for an hour. And then we found this great hotel, and I said you stay here and I can actually do something. But then I needed a road name and you guys were in a museum. I needed a name!"

We kept quiet while he ranted, but it was hard not to laugh. He kept acting like Grandma was going to get up from her perch at the hotel and disappear into the city of Edinburgh. He acted like she was some little old, crippled lady who was desperate for us to reach her. I had heard several stories from Mary Anne about how she got lost in various foreign countries, once without any money, and how she had managed to find her way back. Plus, we had been with the woman for two weeks an knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself.

Grandma (texting) Madison: "I have been waiting for your dad to pick me up. I am at the Hilton Doubletree on Bread Street and Spital Street. Next time I will be more observant as to where he parks the car. He abandoned me. Just great don't you think?"

Madison related the cross streets and Tom programmed Maude. Off we went for what I called Operation Rescue Grandma.

Maude of course had us going in all sorts of circles which just drove Tom crazier. Madison kept relaying things Grandma was texting, all of it hilarious.

Grandma (texting): "I do hope he finds you. Has he found you yet? Are you lost?"

All of this made Tom more nervous as if she were going to get up and move to another location. He kept telling Madison to text her to stay right there! Not to leave. The three of us were snickering in the back seat and trying not to burst out laughing.

Tom: "Is everyone looking? We are looking for the hotel. Do you see it? Do you see Grandma? You told her to stay put, right? I mean it's a nice hotel. It's a Hilton. Surely she wouldn't leave."

Madison told him Grandma was still where he had abandoned her. We liked that phrase and kept using it which would send him off on a spiel.

Tom: "I didn't abandon her. I left her there so she wouldn't have to walk anymore. I mean she can't walk. She is so slow and she was taking me the wrong way. And oh, my god, I couldn't get anything done. I was trying to look at my phone to look where we were and where you guys were and the car, and I would look up and she would be gone. Off walking the wrong way."

Grandma (texting): "The hotel is across the street from the Blue Bar! I do hope you will find me. There is a sign for parking on Riego Street and also a turn to go to Glasgo (A8) if that is any help."

Tom: "Tell her to stay there!"

By now we were laughing. We couldn't hold it back anymore. Tom sometimes is just too funny, god love the man. He gets something in his head and doesn't hear anything else. We reassured him Grandma was still in the place he had abandoned her.

Suddenly I saw the Blue Blaze Bar. Tom starts circling his head around asking, "Where? Where?" and I reminded him she was across from the bar, and then Madison started shouting, "I see the Hilton. I see Grandma!"

Tom: "Tell her to stay there. I have to figure out how to turn the car around to get her. Why is she outside? She could have gone inside and had a drink. I mean it is a nice hotel. I don't know how I'm going to turn the car. I don't know which way to get over there to get her."

Madison: "It doesn't matter she is coming."

And there she was back in our car safe and sound. She got in laughing telling us we got there just before the rain, and we all cheered. Tom started asking her why she didn't stay put and why she was outside waiting and why she didn't go inside and get a drink. She just kept laughing and we joined her.

Grandma: "Oh, that was funny. We left the castle and he turned to the right. Which I knew wasn't right, but we went that way. And then we got down and realized it wasn't the right turn. Well, I said maybe you should go one more block and then turn to the right. But by the time we went up and around and over we didn't know where we were. It is all Tom's fault. I knew when he started walking he was Julie. Neither of them can find their way."

Maddy- "I figured they were lost and Dad wasn't admitting they were lost. He kept typing me they were on the way, and I was going to quote that I didn't think he meant that the way it was meant to be, but he got annoyed and said they were coming....slowly which meant he was essentially blaming Grandma."

Darcy - "So I texted Grandma and said "Where are you?" and she texted back "Never follow your Dad through Edinburgh". I knew they were lost. I just laughed because Dad was blaming Grandma and Grandma was blaming Dad."

Cara: "I was just annoyed that you guys were off touring the city without us."

Madison: "Yes, Mom just was really annoyed and angry that you were off touring, but I kept telling her I bet you two were lost."

Tom: "We weren't touring though. We were trying to get back to the car. I knew where it was, but...."

Grandma: "Oh, well, we're here now. That was fun! Where to next?"