Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Reaching out from the netherworld

Last week I went to The Condo to run the dishwasher. One of the things I've learned about having a second home that no one uses daily is that it STILL HAS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF. My brother probably doesn't understand this as he lives far, far away from said second home, but his name is on the deed and it wouldn't hurt him once in awhile to call me and ask, "Hey, how are things going with The Condo?" I try to get up there once a week or if not that every other week. I also try to fill it with people who will do some laundry, wash some dishes, sleep in the beds, and well, you know, live in it.

I had people in it in August and they left money for my cleaning lady (I have a house that I clean, people, nowhere in my job description does it say I have to clean two) so she and I were at The Condo so that she could work and I could talk. A few minutes before she left she asked if I had run the dishwasher in a while, and upon learning I hadn't, she told me I should. So I hiked up there last week after a dentist appointment (no cavities!) which was in the area. I came in, put soap in the washer, and turned the thing on. Because I didn't want to leave it running alone I stayed. I had brought some lunch so I ate, cleaned up my mess, and decided to sit down and watch some TV because we pay for cable and wifi every month.

I had just gotten settled in mother's chair (the one she lived in the last three years) when the phone rang. The phone comes with the cable and wifi and so we kept it. This specific company has a godly voice that speaks from somewhere up high to alert you to who is calling. My cable company doesn't do this and so it is always a shock when the female phone speaks.

I had just sat down and I knew nobody of importance was calling so it annoyed me. I was annoyed at having to get up and annoyed that after much work in getting the phone number on the Florida Do Not Call List and on the National Do Not Call Registry solicitors still called. I grumbled aloud and made to get up when the voice from nowhere spoke, telling me, "Call from Mason, Constance."

For a moment, just a small moment, these thoughts ran through my brain as I stumbled to the phone: I knew it. She isn't dead. Those dreams I have are true. She is still here and I've forgotten. I've been wrong all this time and now she needs me to bring her something from the condo."

And visions of the rehab center entered my mind with her sitting by her bed on the phone trying to reach me. They were fleeting thoughts because deep down I knew this wasn't true, yet there was a spark, a tiny spark, that maybe all those crazy back-to-life-scenes from movies and television is, well, a possibility. And when I grabbed the phone it said this:


And I pushed TALK and shouted, "HELLO?" because OMG IS THIS TRUE? at the same time that my brain was registering the fact that the phone number displayed (not on the picture now) was The Condo number, and obviously I was standing in The Condo and therefore none of it made any sense. Yet...well, if you've lost a parent you understand.

The voice speaking, even as I was shouting greetings into the phone, was automated. It was not my mother. It was a female voice telling me she could help me out of my credit card debt.

Which is ridiculous because I don't have credit card debt. My mother, whose name is still attached to the cable company, did not have credit card debt. I listened to her for maybe ten seconds before I whispered, "Connie? Mom?" just in case she was somewhere on the other end. But the voice just kept telling me my credit card debt was only going to get worse, and I needed to listen and heed her advice. I hung up.

I hung up and realized that I was back in the chair where I had apparently fallen and that my heart was beating forcefully and loudly in my chest. And there, still on the display, was my mother's name telling me she had called; from the netherworld, where apparently she helps people get out of credit card debt.

It was a very odd experience, and I immediately took a photo and shared it on social media. Because hello, this is our world now, and I knew everyone that cared about my experience would see it. When the dishwasher finished I left to go about my day and to tell my experience to my husband, who despite getting me on social media against my will, doesn't "have time" for it. He thought it very odd indeed and could not explain it which left me wondering if well, hey, maybe....

And then three days later the very same thing happened at my own house. The phone rang, and I glanced at the caller ID from my position in front of my computer, and saw that someone with my last name was calling from the very house I was sitting in.

Of course, every time I see my last name I immediately picture my husband because I suppose deep down I'm still a Mason, but I knew said husband was sitting at his desk around the corner from me nowhere near a phone, and so I knew immediately who it was. "Tom, pick up the phone. It's my mom calling about your credit card debt."

Which I know had to have his brain ticking a mile a minute, flipping through the same mental things I had flipped through at The Condo. But hey, why should I have all the fun?

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