Thursday, January 14, 2016

New year, but same old same old

I always approach the new year with great ideas. Then the new year comes and the kids go back to school and all of my great ideas disappear. So far my excuse this year in the stalling department has been the cold weather that appeared out of nowhere and chills me in the early morning. Instead of hopping out of bed and kicking ass I've been going back to bed and snuggling under my warm Steelers blanket. Tomorrow I tell myself. Tomorrow I will do big things. Today I've decided that next week I will conquer the world. In the meantime here is a peek into my new year:


  • The eldest returned to college. I worried because she was clingy over break. She told me ten times a day that she loved me and hugged me. I thought maybe school wasn't where she wanted to be, but since she has been gone I've only received one Snapchat and one FaceTime conversation. I tell myself that is good thing.
  • Madison bought me a knitting kit, and I taught myself knitting. I use to knit years ago when I was young. My mother had us all knitting scarves and hats for winter, but that was so long ago and I had no memory of how to do it. The book that came with the kit wasn't all that great so I learned via YouTube. The problem with these activities is that I have no patience. I went the project done now so that I can do another. 
  • I have started walking again after my long hiatus over break. My new Apple watch makes me stand up every hour and move. My goal next week is to hit the gym, but if that doesn't happen I'll try to walk three times a day. Maybe I should walk every time my watch dings. 
  • I'm alone a lot of the time. It's a good thing I like being alone, but I realized that Madison was nice companion even if she was asleep. It was nice to have a house full of young people over the holidays and now the house is very quiet. Except for the dog. The dog drives me crazy. But I love him anyway.
  • My mother had tons and tons of shells that she collected over the years. We found them while cleaning out The Condo and I came up with the idea of sprinkling them around the beach at night. I figured this holiday would be a good time to do it with all of the family here so we took one night and did so. It was very healing for me. As I walked along the shore throwing handfuls of shells each way I thought about how much I wanted to find great shells as a kid so that my mother would be happy and proud of me. I so wanted to please her. The releasing of those shells let me release some of those feelings. We can't always make our parents happy. It isn't our fault. I'm sorry I spent so much time trying to do so. I forgive myself. I forgive my mother. So far this new year I have thought about some of the funny things we did and said in our lives. I remember happy times. I feel better.
  • My good neighbor is dying. He has been given three months. That makes me sad. I enjoyed our times outside in the various garages chatting. My neighborhood has changed so much in the last several months with deaths and moves. It is weird to thing that I was the young one when we moved in. Now I'm the old one. I hope I can give these youngsters as much happiness and fun as my neighbors brought me. I hope my neighbor has a great three months. I'll miss him.
  • Madison and I learned how to arm knit after the holidays and one evening we knit scarves. I've been able to wear mine almost every day due to the cold weather. Yesterday a cashier in the Walmart Marketplace complimented me on my scarf. I offered to make her one. She wants a purple one.
  • I have been working on my resolutions. Not all of them, but several of them. I realize if I do a little bit a little at a time I can make it work. Besides I have twelve whole months to work through it all.

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