Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Operation Rescue Grandma repeat?

After our tour of Chinatown, we decided we needed to take the cable car back to the hotel. It was an experience! We had to do it. We had been told the cost was $7 a person, and that dropped out Tom. He opted to walk back and wait for us at the hotel. He ended up waiting, and waiting, and waiting. When we finally joined him he made the mistake of asking why the cable car took so long.

Madison: "Well, after you heading off to the hotel Darcy decided she needed another Vietnamese coffee so she and I went off in search of a coffee place."

Me: "Marilyn and I went to sit on the stairs of a church that was right by the stop."

Marilyn: "Where we proceeded to give information to people who thought we knew things. And we did! We knew the answers because we had just found them out ourselves and so we were very important."

Me: "One of the women whom we helped said we should have a sign that said, "Information". Instead we took a selfie. I call it, Two old broads on a stoop."


Madison: "Meanwhile Darcy and I walked down the street thinking we would find a place that sold coffee, but there wasn't anything so we came back to where Aunt Marilyn and Mom were sitting. We sat down with them to wait for the cable car, but then Darcy looked on her phone for a place to get coffee and found a place that was right in front of us."

Darcy: "Yelp is a stupid app."

Me: "And since a cable car had come and gone while the girls were off searching for coffee I was trying to find a schedule online. I discovered that seniors got a discount. It said $5 a ride, but I wasn't sure about that as it was an older article. But it did give us etiquette on how to jump aboard and so Marilyn and I read that so we would know the correct way to flag down the car."

Marilyn: "And then I spied a park directly across from where we were seated."

Me: "So she and I told the girls to get us a coffee and a tea and we would go sit in the park."

Madison: "So then we set off walking down some back alley in back of the park, and Darcy was complaining about how Yelp didn't let you hit a "start route" button so she was following the blue dot that was us on the map."

Darcy: "Because Maddy told me that I couldn't start a route so I had to navigate with the blue dot."

Madison: "I did tell her, but she says I didn't. Needless to say, there was a lot of arguing. So we are in a back alley and she showed me the blue dot on the map and said it was right here, but clearly there were no shops. So we walked away and went down one street. Then she said the blue dot showed us going the wrong way and so we marched across traffic and went down another street. Then she said we had to turn again and basically we walked in circles around the park like three times."


Me: "And then they appeared in the park walking toward us."

Marilyn: "Where we were sitting on a bench watching and listening to birds chirping and enjoying nature, and the people who were exercising in the park."

Me: "So Madison sat down, but Darcy was determined to find a coffee place."

Darcy: "Yes, and I looked up the original place where I got my coffee and it said it was six minutes away, and I was determined to get my coffee and treat Aunt Marilyn. I was perfectly happy to just go off on my own, but Mom made Madison come with me."

Madison: "So I followed Darcy, and after one block, and then two blocks, I asked her how far away this place was, and she said it wasn't far. I asked her the name of this place and that's when she told me the name of the place and I realized it was the original place. We walked blocks and blocks and finally found the place. The guy has to brew the coffee and it takes forever, and Darcy buys the gigantic size coffee."

Darcy: "It was only .50 cents more and, therefore, worth it, so there."

Me: "Meanwhile back at the park the sun has faded on our bench and the wind has picked up and Marilyn and I were huddling together with our heads down."

Marilyn: "And I realized that by the time they came back I wouldn't want an iced coffee."

Me: "I mean, even the birds were huddled behind us in a patch of grass with their heads tucked into their wings to get out of the wind. So I suggested we move to the other side of the park, out of the wind and back into the shade. ."


Tom: "I see where this is going. They couldn't find you in the park because you moved."

Madison: "What? No."

Me: "No, they made it back with two coffees and a Thai tea for me which was terrible. It was like drinking colored sugar water."

Darcy: "Because Madison didn't want to spend an extra dollar on the tea at the same place I got the coffee, and so she went to a cheap place which she said was right by the coffee place. I pictured it like next door from the way she was talking so I told her to go get it while my guy was brewing the coffee, but as soon as she decided to finally take my advice and leave then my coffees were ready. So I go next door and realize it isn't a coffee place at all. So I had to call her and ask her where she was and she was like two blocks away. It was not "right by the coffee place" like she kept saying it was."

Madison: "But it was on the way back to the park so we had to walk that way anyhow."

Me: "So then we left the park and went to cross the street to where the cable car sign was...

Marilyn: "But a cable car was already coming so up the hill so we ran out into the street and I flagged it down."

Me: "Quite nicely, I might add."

Marilyn: "Like an expert because we had read all about how to do it earlier."

Madison: "And the car stopped and we all ran out into the middle of traffic, and I was sure we were all going to get hit."

Me: "And everyone was ahead of me and climbing on to the car, and suddenly the cable car guy said, "No drinks."

Madison: "He was looking right at Darcy and her gigantic coffee drink when he said it, and he had to say it again because we kept ignoring him and just kept getting on."

Me: "And Marilyn said, "What?" and when he said, "No drinks" Aunt Marilyn just laid her drink down right on the running board of the cable car as if that would solve the problem."

Marilyn: "I wanted to just chuck the fucking drink into the street at that point."

Me: "I know. I thought she was going to do just that, but something stopped her."

Marilyn: "That was my first instinct, an impulse when he said that. I wanted to just say, "Well, I don't need the drink, and toss it away into the street."

Me: "I know. It was weird. That actually crossed my mind too as if it were a natural occurrence, and I did look around as if a trash can were right there in the middle of the street, but of course there wasn't. So the guy looks at Marilyn as if she is just plain stupid when she puts the drink down on the running board and he says again, "No drinks. So we got off."

Madison: "And went back into the traffic"

Me: "But then we had to cross the street to the cable car sign where the church we had been at before was, and I thought Marilyn was going to sit again on the stairs, but there was an Asian man with a backpack there and she sort of changed her mind."


Darcy: "And then the guy sees my Pride button on my purse and freaks out. He starts yelling."

Madison: "Well, he started yelling, "When a man and a woman are together, love. They is in love. When a woman loves a woman she is a....lesbian. I thought he was just spouting out facts at that moment, but then he started shouting curse words and it went downhill from there in a spiral."

Marilyn: "Oh, yes, he was saying, "fucking this, and whore, and damning people, and it was all horrible."

Madison: "It was sort of like a static radio broadcast where you only got some of the words, and unfortunately, for all of us on that corner we got all of the curse words."

Me: "I didn't know what set him off. I thought he was a street preacher until he started cursing."

Darcy: "It was my button. He looked right at it, and then at me, and started shouting about woman on woman."

Me: "And then he went on to men lying with men, and I was worried Darcy would start arguing with him, and I suggested we just walk to the hotel."

Marilyn: "Which was a good idea because the man was crazy. We crossed the street to get away from him."

Me: "And climbed, and climbed, the largest street ever in this city. I mean, seriously, the incline was straight up. I had to walk backwards, but then Marilyn started talking about how she wanted to chuck her drink when the cable guy said, "No drinks", and I got to laughing so hard I thought I wouldn't make it."

Marilyn: "It was a climb, and it went on and on."

Me: "And when we got to the end, the corner, there was another hill."

Marilyn: "But there was a cable car sign, and I said we will catch it here because I couldn't walk up that hill anymore."

Darcy: "And I asked if we had correct change for the ride and Mom said no."

Me: "So we all started digging through our wallets. Marilyn had to take off her backpack to get to her purse, and she kept telling Madison to watch out for the car."

Marilyn: "And I had the singles!"

Darcy: "Yes, we had enough for the senior discount and extra in case Marilyn didn't get a discount. Mom had the money in her hand."

Me: "And the cable car came and we all flagged it down."

Marilyn: "Like the pros we were by this time, having flagged down the previous one."

Madison: "And then everyone went running into the street, and I thought we were all going to get killed because traffic was not stopping like they were suppose to, and I thought, "Oh, dear, god, we are going to die" as I followed them."

Marilyn: "The cable man was very nice."

Me: "He was. He sat the three of us down on a bench and then helped Maddy who was behind us."

Madison: "He told me I couldn't stand there and moved me because there wasn't any room on the bench."

Me: "So the three of us were facing one way and Madison was facing the other way. And we started up, up, up, and I took our picture of our first cable car experience, which wasn't easy on an incline, but I figured I could rearrange some things at the next stop and take a really good photo then. But then we stopped and the man yelled out, "Powell." I asked Marilyn where we were suppose to go and she told the man our street and he told us it was down to our left going in the opposite direction. So we panicked."


Marilyn: "We did. I said, "get off" and we all got up to get off and the nice cable man waited for us, ringing the bell."

Me: "And I hadn't paid yet because he didn't ask for money when we got on so I jumped off before he asked for the money and ran across the street."

Madison: "And I was facing the wrong way and the traffic wasn't stopping, and I knew I was going to die if I tried to run around the cable car to where the rest of the group was so I just went to the side I was on. But I knew Mom was going to panic and think I was still on the car."

Darcy: "I thought that too and so I yelled at Maddy to get off, but Mom was worried only about running to the sidewalk, and then when she got there she started screaming, "Where's Madison? Maddy! MADDY!"

Me: "It's true. I just wanted to get away from the cable guy asking me for the $35."

Madison: "For our ten second ride."

Me: "But then I was worried Maddy hadn't got off, but the couple who had stood in front of us on the car yelled that she got off on the other side."

Marilyn: "The people on the cable car thought we were crazy, I'm sure, riding the cable car for ten seconds and then jumping off and running."

Me: "But Maddy was stuck on the other side of the street and it wasn't a crosswalk. It was only a stop traffic for the cable car."

Madison: "And I thought, "Oh, great, now I am going to be killed", but I waited for a lull in traffic and ran across."

Me: "And then they all started bitching about paying $35 for the ten second ride, but I waved the money at them and then everyone was happy and we all hugged and jumped up and down."

Marilyn: "And then we had to walk down, down, down the street."

Me: "And Darcy told us we had to lean back when walking downhill, but I didn't think it helped any."

Darcy: "It does."

Marilyn: "I thought it did and I walked that way just fine."

Darcy: "And then Maddy said Dad was walking towards us."

Madison: "Well he was according to my shared location direction, but then he stopped."

Tom: "Because finally I saw you were almost to the hotel...one and a half hours later."

Madison: "And we finally arrived."

Tom: "One and a half hours later."

Darcy: "Yes, but look at the adventure you missed."

Marilyn: "Yes, the adventure."

Madison: "And the blog entry! You know Mom will blog this."


Uh, yep!

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