Saturday, October 22, 2016

My election rant because dammit I can't escape it

I thought I could get away without discussing politics on my blog. I really did. I took a lot of precautions regarding my opinions about this year's political scene. 

I swore off of Facebook. I refused to put myself near people who would want to argue politics. But this election year is crazy. I cannot go one day without it being shoved into my face. I bet I get at least ten phone calls a day to discuss the election. I get at least that many asking me to take a survey. This past week I've had three people show at my door to discuss and/or ask me questions about politics. And don't even get me started on the crap that fills my mailbox each afternoon. It is nuts.

First, let me start by saying that as soon as I could vote, which was a year later than my fellow classmates, I registered as a Republican. Eighty percent of my doing so, was because my mother was a staunch Republican, and twenty percent was because of my fangirling of Abraham Lincoln. 

Secondly, although I am still registered as a Republican, I am no longer a supporter of this party, at least not the party it is today. I tell people I am a Lincoln Republican, but sadly that party is kaput. 

Lastly, I am, as soon as the election is over, going to change my party affiliation to Independent. My father was registered as an Independent, and I was always in awe of that choice. I thought it very "hippy," a word that would never be associated with my father.

Because I am still registered as a Republican, as is my husband, I get the calls from that party. I feel inundated every year, all their pushing is forcing me to take a step away. 

I have called the National headquarters several times to report my mother's death. Each time the person on the other end of the phone informs me they are well aware of this information. I then inquire as to why they keep sending out letters soliciting money to a dead woman. I get something from them addressed to my mother EVERY DAY. E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. I'm not kidding. I usually end the phone call with, "Put the amount of money you are spending on postage to dead people into your coffers," which is something my mother would, and did, say. 

Now, I open the mail, write DECEASED in black Sharpie across whatever is inside, and mail it back to them. They pay the postage. Then I say out loud, "I'm hoping to bankrupt the Republican Party," which is similar to what my mother used to say when she went into a doctor's office and told them she would take any and all tests they required because she was hoping to "bankrupt Medicare." 

I often feel she is speaking through me, and I've contemplated hiring an exorcist, but that is a blog entry for another time.

As a SAHM, I have a tendency to talk to solicitors who call me or who pop up at my door. It comes from not seeing other adults most of the day, but lately, I've not handled it well. 

Without giving out my political preferences on this blog, I HATE DONALD TRUMP WITH A PASSION, I have to discuss these surveys. Are not things black and white? On second thought, don't even think about that question because they are. Either you are, or you aren't. But these surveys can't just make it a yes or no question. Below, is a conversation I had last night via the telephone with a young Indian voice that kept cutting in and out as if a pause button were being tapped every other word:

Him: "If the Presidential candidates today were Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Hillary Clinton, would you say you were more likely to vote for Republican Donald Trump or Democrat Hillary Clinton?"

Me: "There is no "if" about it. Those are the candidates today.

Silence

Him: "If the election were held today for President, would you say you would vote for candidate Republican Donald Trump?"

Me: "No. I hate Donald Trump. I wouldn't vote for him if I was held at gunpoint. And you can quote me on that."

Him: "Would you be "highly likely," "somewhat likely," "maybe likely," highly dislikely," "somewhat dislikely," or "maybe dislikely" to vote for Presidential candidate Donald Trump?"

I should have hung up. I mean, I think my answer said it all. In the survey before this one, it was "highly favorable," "somewhat favorable," and so on regarding each candidate. The study before that one, asked for a scale with "1 being "more supportive," 2 being "somewhat supportive," 3 being "less supportive," and so on. 

A week ago, I told the woman on the phone that I would only take the survey if she let me just answer the questions once I knew the correct phrasing because it drove me batty to have to listen to the choices each time. She agreed to that and then ignored me. My friend Kelly was here at that time, and she kept yelling at me when I rolled my eyes or put the phone down in my lap or griped.

Kelly: "Stop that! Stop that right now. If you didn't like this, then you shouldn't have agreed to take the survey. They have a script that has to be followed because opinion polls have exact questions...." and she went on and on, and then I had to ask the woman to repeat the question because I couldn't hear her over Kelly's scolding. Which I found funny, and then snickered. The woman never strayed from her script.

Why? Why all of this nonsense? It is a yes or no question. Will you or won't you? Black or white? If you want to delve further into my psyche, then type in that I'm passionate about my answer. What is with all of this other stuff? How does my response of "somewhat" or "maybe" help you in whatever you hope to accomplish by asking these questions? Not only is it annoying, but it makes these surveys so much longer during a time I'm cooking or eating dinner.

Last night a young man appeared at my door while Kelly and I were sitting on the couch talking. When he told me he was from the Democratic party, I jumped up to speak with him, excited that the other party was making a play for me. 

Me: "Wow. Awesome. Lay it on me."

Him: "Is there a Madison that I can talk to?"

Me: "Sigh. Only if you hike to North Carolina."

Today, a young lady from some organization that had the word "Freedom" in it came up my walkway with a tablet to ask me questions concerning our candidate for the Senate race. She actually wanted to ask me about specific policies, worded by her organization, to see if they swayed me toward the candidate. 

She started in with her list of would you, could you, should you nonsense, and then she actually raised her eyebrows at my answers.

Me: "Look. I get that you have to ask me stuff, and you need your boxes filled out, but here is the thing. I'm voting the way I'm voting due to my own personal opinions and beliefs. They aren't yours. They aren't my neighbors. In the end, we're all doing that. We're going with the candidate who shares those same beliefs. I'm not undecided. Nothing you say is going to sway me at this point. Am I happy about this election? Hell, no. Do I think this country is going to hell in a handbasket? Hell, yes. Do I think this election is crazy, and the people involved crazy? Yes. They are. It's sad, actually. Everyone is out for himself and to hell with everyone else. So yes, I'm voting for this candidate that you obviously are not voting for, and nothing you say will change my mind. Okay?"

Her: "Okay, thank you for your time. Can I ask you something?"

Me: "Absolutely. Ask away."

Her: "Is Tom here?"

Me: "You just missed him."

Her: "Would you say he has a favorable or unfavorable opinion about the candidate."


Me: "Oh, believe me, he is unfavorable. He loves saying the opposite of everything I say. Ain't America great?"

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