Sunday morning thoughts

Thoughts While Driving To Church 

OR 

My Brain, God Help Us All

Before:

• I should google these songs I've put into my Sunday Mornings playlist because I really have no idea what this song means. Plus, I don't really think I'm singing the correct lyrics. I need some voice activation where I can ask Sound Hound to give me the lyrics and the meaning. Maybe I should create my own app.
• Only I have no idea how to create an app. That probably involves some computer tech knowledge, some code writing knowledge, and well, I don't have that. This is why I'm not rich and famous because I've got a worthless college degree. I have so many great ideas, but I can't get past the idea stage. I've wasted my talents. Ann was right about that.
• I'm going to be hungry after church. I should go to PDQ since I haven't been there in so long. I've done well staying away from there. I bet Darcy goes after youth group. Oh, that reminds me. I bet she needs money. I'll have to text her at the light. Good thing I remembered that.
• The House That Built Me is such a good song. It makes me tear up every time. I loved that darn house at 8200. I would have made some changes, but my mother should have kept it. Of course, then I would have two damn houses that are sitting empty. And that one would be worse since it is in IN, and I'm in FL, and it gets cold there, and the house would have needed to be winterized. And really, would I have spent the summers there? Damn song. I should remove it from the playlist. 
• I should check The Condo. But I was just there a couple of weeks ago. Ugh. I have to make some appointments to get that thing rented out. It's a resolution.
• But I've done well with my resolutions, haven't I? Well, I messed up on the F word resolution on Friday when I couldn't find the &;%^$ packing tape I had just bought and someone stole. That was irritating, but really the words were necessary in blowing off steam. Why am I letting Kelly dictate whether or not that counted in my resolutions score?
• This street should be called Church Row. There are three churches on this road alone. I wonder if that's a record? That poor man who called me that one time while I was volunteering called the other churches first. Poor guy. I should have befriended him. I could have gone over a few days a week and sat with him, told him funny stories, made him lunch. I wonder who makes him lunch since he is wheelchair bound. But then that would be weird, huh? His kids would probably think I'm stealing him blind. I mean, how sad is that they would think that? What's the matter with people?
• Oh, good, the sanctuary door is still open. I'm not late.

After:

• Great. Now I have to have this paperwork filled out and notarized for Darcy by next week. Jeez, leaving it to the last minute, isn't she?
• That was a good musical Sunday. It was almost awesome. I wish I could sing. I wonder if we have any good singers in our family. Although, really, who cares? Because I obviously did not inherit that gene.
• I can't believe I don't have any football today. That's so weird. It went by so fast. I'm at a loss at what to do today. I should go to the beach. I bet SueG forgets that.
• Did I SnapChat my picture today yet? Oh, yeah, I did that at the end there. I should have recorded her singing. Wow. Now that chick has some pipes. I wonder if she inherited them.
• I'm hungry. I should have gone to PDQ. But that's not on my diet which is another resolution. But I screwed that one up already. I'll start full out on Monday. Tomorrow. Oh, yeah, I'm eating the leftover pizza at home from Post. That's why I didn't go to PDQ. Yum. I love Post pizza. That's exciting. Something to look forward to, and yes, I know pizza isn't diet food. Tomorrow I won't eat any.
• I bet Darcy goes to PDQ after youth group. Maybe I should text her to bring me something. Wait! I'm eating the damn pizza.
• I love this round-about. It's stupid sitting here in the middle of a residential road, but I think I really love it. Okay, well, I only love it when I come from this side. Weeeeeeee....
• Every time I do that I think of that pig in the Geico Commercial. I love that pig. What the heck is his name? (Disclaimer: I looked that up while writing this. His name is Maxwell, and I found THIS SITE. I need to meet this guy. His brain works a lot like mine)
• Hello! Yield! Do people even know what that word means? If I had voice activation I would look up the definition. And what? Scream it out the window? It's probably a good thing I don't have it. No one would listen at a crazy, middle aged, broad screaming definitions out the window. But they should! Jeez. Yield, already!
• How come I can always think about my novel when I'm driving and listening to these playlists? Well, and in the shower. That would be interesting to discuss on a talk show, wouldn't it? I write in the shower and while driving. If I had voice activation I could probably have the damn thing done by now.
• I should have gotten chicken at PDQ. Wait. Damn it. Pizza. I keep forgetting that. Pfft. I'll probably forget all of these thoughts I want to write down because seriously my brain just hops from one subject to another. How can I remember them? Hell, I've already forgetting most of them. Wait. House, Yield, PDQ. 
• Look! Squirrel!