POP

Sometimes things pop up in life, and long afterwards when I have time to sit and contemplate, I discover that it was just needed. No rhyme or reason to it, but POP, it happens and I'm better for it. For a long time, I've talked about traveling back "home" to Indiana. I often feel the tug that calls me back, and not having been in over three years, weighed on me heavily. I don't think I knew how much until I got there.

I had expectations before arriving, so many wants that I thought I needed, and while some came to fruition, others did not, yet I was okay with that. There would have been a time in my life where I wouldn't have been so carefree with that, but this trip I was just that. It worried me at times, that attitude, and with my history of doomed emotions it made me even more concerned. I had to work to push it aside, and when the time came for me to head home I gave myself a big pep talk. One where I embraced change, looked forward to the future, and held tight to acceptance.

Returning home, I had several days of searching for colors. It wasn't an easy transition from relaxation to the "real world" of responsibilities and same old, same old. In my absence, life went on with changes and tension, and it was like opening a door and having a huge gust of cold wind in my face or jumping into a cold pool without testing the temperature with my toe. I gasped for air for a few days before I got myself acclimated.

Some days were better than the others, and finding a balance was challenging, but the thing about dark days is that there are always brighter days. I spent time exploring my Indiana experiences and categorizing them into helpful transitions to being home. So much can't be controlled, and while the past is exactly what it states, it also helps to define and pave the future as do all experiences.

I needed the visits I made. I needed the re-connections. I needed the time spent with family. I needed the awakening of decisions made. I needed the hugs, the laughter, and the beauty of the countryside. I needed the link with my past so that I could continuing moving forward through now and the future. POP.