Jaimee and Cara

My cousin Jaimee has a blog. I really should add it to my list of daily blog reading, which isn't really true anymore because I'm writing a book and don't read blogs daily like I used to do, but whatever. Today, while I was procrastinating taking a break from writing said book, I realized it had been a week since I had checked into Jaimee's blog. She had called me the night before but we hadn't gotten very far into the conversation before her littlest interrupted her and so she told me she would return the call another night. Wanting to be up on her life, I typed in her name in my URL. Normally, her blog pops up immediately when I type in "Jai", but since my husband recently put on a new cypersecurity and antivirus protector on my computer nothing pops up automatically anymore. So I typed in "Jaimee", thinking that would alert the Russians who now own my computer and everything on it (this is another blog entry for sure) as it is their company protecting me, but instead, this came up:

According to Urban Dictionary, Jaimee is a term. Who knew? Certainly not my children who I rely on to keep me updated as to all lingo in today's world. Just for grins, and because I still have that teenage mentality (I mean, I am a romance writer), I then asked Urban Dictionary if Cara was a term.

I'm sorry I did. The first response via Goodle said, "An ugly junk with no heart or sole. The lowest possible human form there is before death or rehab. Incapable of telling the truth or even knowing what the truth is. Everything it touches turns to shit. Very ugly, self-absorbed, selfish, evil and basically on par with the thieving Junkie Devil."

That was the first thing that came up in the search engine for "Cara Urban Dictionary" but the second one came up as this:

So I texted Jaimee's definition to her. She responded with "Google knows me so well" and so I texted this second one of Cara to her and said, "Google knows me well too. Thank god the air conditioning guy didn't know my name when he showed up this morning." We snickered with emojis.

Then I noticed that Jaimee had Top Definition above her name and my two versions did not. So I typed in Cara in Urban Dictionary and that Top Definition was obviously the right one.

Definitely, stick with the Top Definition if you ever check your name out in Urban Dictionary. Because the site can be used by anyone who wants to post a word and a definition and as you go further along on the page there is usually someone who obviously dislikes someone with that name. Jaimee further down the page was a ruthless, nocturnal witch, a narcissistic ratchet witch who thinks only of herself (the name "mee" is emphasized which I did think was clever), and a crazy-ass Irish motherfucking leprechaun.

My personal favorite of Cara was this one: A sweet, shy, book nerd with writing skills that you wouldn't believe and a social phobia that keeps her in the background.

I took that one as a sign to stop what I was doing and I got back to writing the novel. Always stop while you are ahead.