California here we come

The girls and I butted in on our cousin's family trip to visit her mother, my aunt, in California. I haven't been there since I was seven years old. My memories of that trip, a summer car adventure out West, are minimal, and the pictures, which usually jog a few hidden memories, are few because my father the photographer was not with us. All I know is that we are not to expect five-star accommodations. As if I even know what that is... Oh, wait, I am a Club Wyndham owner so I'll take that to mean I'm not getting a deluxe unit.

Cousin Maya: (sighing) "No."

My aunt texted me on Friday.

Marilyn: "I'm freaking that the girls are not going to like roughing it. Not to mention you on the floor on an air mattress. I'm trying like mad to get new water tank filled."

My first thought was that she obviously does not read my blog. Especially the entries where I have slept on an air mattress with a huge bubble in the middle and more recent on the miserable futon. My second thought then was, oh, maybe she has read my blog and then my third thought was, we really should've taken her to the farm.

So, I called her and learned that she and my cousin were stressing out over our lack of knowledge of this place and our apparent high society, snotty, gold-plated expectations of the castles and palaces they seem to believe we are used to. Which led me to rethink all of my first, second, and third thoughts from above.

Madison: "All I require is a toilet."

Marilyn: "We have that."

Me: "All I require is somewhere to clean my body and do my OCD nightly shaving of my legs."

Marilyn: "You shave your legs every night?"

Yep. First thought was correct.

At this point, we learned that my aunt had communicated with Darcy who, upon learning she would be sleeping in a tent, politely requested an upgrade of her accommodations. Madison and I were perplexed that one, my aunt texted Darcy, and two, that Darcy didn't want to sleep in a tent. The whole thing was a tad odd but we said enough that my aunt was more relaxed and reassured of our arrival by the end of the phone call.

Later that night, Madison and I mentioned the phone call and asked what the hell Darcy's problem was in sleeping in a tent.

Darcy: "Okay, well, first of all, Aunt Marilyn's message came on my watch while I was sitting on the lifeguard stand working. And all it said was, can I sleep in a tent? So, I responded with, can I? Yes. And Aunt Marilyn apparently thought that meant I wasn't up to sleeping in a tent because my watch dinged again and she then told me people would be inside on air mattresses but I would be outside in a tent. As if no one else was going to be sleeping outside. Then she said well she supposed I could stay in the cottage down the road with Maddy. So, I'm thinking why am I being shoved out of where ever it is everyone else is sleeping while Madison is partying it up down the road in a fully functioning indoor cottage? Like what did I do to warrant this seclusion? I mean, seriously, let me read you the rest of what she said and you'll see what I'm talking about."

So, she read them and we all laughed and laughed because it really did sound like Darcy was being shoved out the door. Typical Aunt Marilyn messages where you have to know her well enough to read between the lines. Obviously, my kid doesn't, although she said it was because she was busy saving lives and not really paying much attention.

Darcy: "I responded quite nicely I thought. All I said was that I'd prefer to be with everyone else on the air mattresses. I mean, I pictured me all alone in a tent outside in the wilderness just waiting to be snacked on by those foxes she keeps capturing and posting on Facebook!"

And we were off laughing again. Because...well, those messages did sort of sound like that. We caught Darcy up on the true meaning of the messages and that she would be in a tent with the rest of the teens. Which she was more than fine with.

Me: "And she and Maya were worried about the water situation since a water shortage is in CA. She is putting in a large water tank for us."

Darcy: "Yes, I saw the pictures on Facebook."

Me: "Which is apparently why she messaged you. Since you're the only one that uses Facebook. Maddy told her she just needed a toilet and I told her I needed to clean my body daily and shave which I can do just fine in the river. She's still concerned we aren't going to like roughing it and Maya seems to think we aren't going to enjoy not doing anything. She just kept saying that there wasn't much to do there."

Darcy: "Good Lord! Seriously? Have these people seen the farm? Aunt Lorene's house? At least Aunt Marilyn has wifi! I'm not even sure these people know what roughing it really is!"

I'm not sure either, but we're about to find out. And maybe next summer we'll host them at the Mason Farm in Dugger, Indiana.