Day 5 Smoky Mountain vacation

Each night, while we played games, I sat across from this picture hanging on the wall. It was like someone had cut out magazine pictures and spliced them into this frame. I really wanted to open the back and take it out. I don't know why it perplexed me so. I felt like my mother, who used to observe paintings and pictures in the hospital, commenting on them like she was some art connoisseur. 

Wyndham offered to move our stuff to the other unit, so this morning, we packed it all and left it for transport. I took a photo of the picture, bemoaning that I wouldn't get to study it some more. No one cared.

We ate breakfast (on Wyndham) at Oaks Farm Kitchen, a family-style place. There was a wait, so while Steph and Maggie investigated the surroundings, I interviewed people exiting. The consensus was we had to try the farm-sized cinnamon roll and their famous ring-baked griddle cakes.

Maggie ordered the latter. We wished we'd gone with the former. The eggs weren't cooked enough to my liking. The grits tasted boxed. The syrup wasn't warm. We should've known it wasn't a place for us when we stood next to the fire pit with a sign that said HOT.

It was raining when we came out, so we headed back to the resort to see if we could check into our new unit. We could, and all of our stuff was waiting for us. The unit was definitely an upgrade, despite the towel bar and toilet paper holder falling off the wall. 

And to my surprise, the same picture was above the table where we would play games tonight!

We made plans to go to an Escape room later and purchased tickets for Dolly's Stampede for Friday afternoon. Dollywood was also on the list, and after checking the weather for the rest of the week, I decided we needed rain ponchos to do that on Saturday or Sunday. We spent considerable time up and down the strip doing just that--to no avail. Every single tourist place was sold out of ponchos and umbrellas. One place would send us to another, and we'd navigate there, arriving just as they sold the last one.

We did, however, find a bear.

Maggie and I were the only ones who'd ever done an Escape Room, and my experience was more of that as an audience member than a participant (since my daughters didn't want to lose). Steph and Kim were newbies. They had no concept despite our explanations, but we assumed they'd receive an education at the place.

We could choose from five different rooms ranging from beginner to advanced. With the history above and our egos, we went with an intermediate room called Shipwrecked. 

An employee brought us into a small alcove where we watched a two-minute black and white video about the 1914 disappearance of Ernest Shackleton, his crew, and their ship. The TV shut off, the employee gave us a list of rules, such as no photography, and then she led us into a dimly lit room. Decorated as a ship's cabin, it had hanging ropes, maps on the walls, locked chests and cabinets, and books. Telling us we had one hour to escape, she wished us luck and shut the door.

Steph: "That's it? Good luck?"

We wasted precious minutes laughing and complaining, and then we scrambled about the tiny room like we knew what we were doing.

Steph: "We knew NOTHING. She told us NOTHING. She said good luck and left us!" 

Maggie scrambled. Kim wandered. I read things on the walls. Steph stood in the middle of the room.

Me: "Get to work!"

Steph: "Doing what? We have no idea what we're supposed to do!"

Meanwhile, a giant digital clock above the door ticked off the seconds. Kim and I spent tons of time on, of all things, a math question that had to do with ship supplies. Maggie tried to help us, to no avail. We finally waved our hands and asked for a clue. 

This went on and on. We couldn't get a damn thing, and we'd wave our hands for a clue. Somehow, we, and I mean Maggie, deciphered enough codes to unlock chests and drawers. We unknotted the ropes and got a handful of photographs on cards. A key opened the door to the next room.

Off we went, time ticking. This room had a mannequin wearing a captain's coat that I searched. I thought thoroughly, but apparently, not because later, someone found a clue in a pocket. 

Against one wall was a case with labeled bottles. On the buffet below were empty vials with droppers. We spent tons of time studying those until I figured out we had to use the information on the back of the photographs to mix stuff. Kim and Steph got to mixing while Maggie ran around doing everything else. By this point, the employees didn't bother to offer hints when we asked for help. They just gave us answers. 

Time ran out. We threw our hands up in defeat, feeling low on the totem pole. 

The door opened. A different employee entered. He gave us a sad smile.

Him: "Oh, sorry, but you were so close."

Steph: "We didn't really know what we were doing. This (she points at herself and Kim) is our first time in an escape room."

Him: "Would you like to know what you had left to do?"

Me: "Absolutely."

It took him five minutes to go through everything we still had left to do. It was long and involved and he pointed up and down and all around the room, talking about the photographs, about opening drawers, going into maps, and things dropping to reveal clues. The longer he spewed, the harder it was for me and Steph to keep in our laughter. Plus, this guy's somberness about us being "so close" to escaping was too much. He genuinely seemed sorry. 

We followed him out of the escape room back into the front entrance. It was dark and gloomy and deadly silent. The two employees behind the desk looked at our guy. No one knew what to say or do. Usually, people exit full of excitement at having escaped. They're talking and laughing and getting their pictures taken. 

Someone had to break the ice.

Steph: "Thank you."

Them: "You're welcome. Have a good day."

We opened the door, stumbled outside, and lost it.

Me: "They didn't know what to do or say."

Steph: "They are in there laughing right now."

Maggie: "We're probably going to be on the Internet."

Steph: "You think they were videotaping us? Of course, they were. We were so pitiful."

Me: "I can see it now. Three old ladies and a kid are totally clueless."

Steph: "Because we didn't know what we were doing! They gave us zero guidance!"

We laughed on the way back to the resort, chuckled through our takeout dinner from a BBQ restaurant, and were in hysterics replaying the guy telling us we were so close and then launching into a thirty-minute discussion of what we "just needed to do." 

Tomorrow, we're surfing the web for our video. I you happen to see us before then, give us the link.