Here We Go Again

My SIL Julie will have the aneurysms on the other side of her brain removed on February 24th. We thought we had more time, like several months before going through this again. I'm not sure we are over the first surgery, let alone ready for another. Then I realized how Julie must feel.

She doesn't have any memory of what happened and of what she went through. She has a gap in her life of over three weeks. She can hear the stories and read the website, but what must it all mean? She knows one day she was happily going along with her life, and then the next day, the life she knew changed. Despite coming so far so fast, she is discouraged. She can't do the things she did before. She doesn't look the same way she did before. Add that to being told there is still another surgery; I can't imagine what she feels.

Granted, the surgery this time will be different. Last time it was an emergency with one of the aneurysms bursting, causing damage and making the operation a higher risk. The second surgery should be more straightforward and not so as intense. The recovery will be quicker. But there are still risks, including blindness and loss of smell. It isn't going to be easy. Nothing is when they open up your head.

I read the stories on the websites. People of all ages who have aneurysms. People who have suffered strokes, loss of speech, paralysis. It's horrible reading. Scary. Julie didn't know what was happening in the first go-around, but now she has an idea. Now she's being told of the surgery, risks, and what to expect.

Waiting until the next surgery carries its risks. There is a 41% chance the aneurysm could rupture. When I was a child, a girl in my school had a mother with a brain aneurysm. I remember thinking that that woman had a ticking bomb inside her head. Back then, I guess you left them alone. Now they know better. Julie goes through the motions of living, but she worries about the aneurysm still inside.

On February 24th, she will wait no more. None of us will.