There was no 2012 Christmas card

I received this email in my box yesterday from my friend Sharon C. I answered her and then got to thinking that everyone might be wondering the same thing so here is my response.

Email from Sharon:

Okay... Where is my Christmas card?

1) I am assuming it got lost in the mail.
2) Someone stole it from my mail box.
3) You let someone else mail it and it is sitting in their car.
4) You don't have time to mail a card to your friend, Sharon.
5) You forgot to send me one.
6) Darcy set it down while walking through the house.
7) You could not get any one to sit still.
8) You sent one from your Mom instead.
9) Your computer is broken.
10) You don't care this year.

JUST WHAT IS IT? WHERE IS MY CARD?

Email response from me (with some embellishments added that I didn't send her)

1) You assume wrong. There was never a card.
2) No one stole my card from your mailbox because a card never was in your mailbox. There was never a card.
3) I did not put anyone else in charge of mailing my card because I never made a card.
4) If there had been a card I would have mailed yours first. There was never a card.
5) I have a very good Christmas card list on my computer. Your name is in it. Had there been a card I would not have forgotten because my list is iron clad.
6) Darcy sets down quite a few things while walking through our house, but mostly they all belong to her. There was no card for her to set down.
7) Now this is closest to the truth. First, I did not have, in all my millions of 2012 photos, one of Madison and Darcy together to make a card. Second, Tom always complains that I don't make cards with us on it. Third, no one would ever pose together whenever Kelly was around to take a photo. Thus...there was never a card.
8) Yes, this is true. I took the picture of my Mom Connie, made the card, addressed and mailed half the cards. The rest she addressed and had her neighbor mail. I consider this an accomplishment because I never made my own card.
9) Heavens no! Have you forgotten that I married a computer man? Not only does he program those things, but he can take them apart and rebuild them. There was no card.
10) Well, now I feel sort of guilty. I guess I didn't care enough to force a picture. I did think I would send out a New Year's card instead. Do I still have time for that?

THERE WAS NO DAMN CARD! GET OVER IT!

Love you! Happy New Year!
Cara