Merry, merry to one and all

Every year I make Christmas cards, my family gripes about the pictures. Last year only my dog made the cut because, despite their griping, they don't want to stand still long enough to take a decent card photo. This year I was stuck on what to do. Madison wouldn't be home until the 18th of December and I had no pictures of them together except for our summer trip to New York and Darcy vetoed that one. Because I have it as my screen saver. (Insert me rolling my eyes)

Darcy came up with the idea to have them on facetime on our computers. I loved that idea. But the execution of that never worked out, and I got more and more stressed as the cards of our family and friends started rolling in. Why are everyone else's families so put together and on the ball? Some of our excuses were:

• Tom was not here. This is the story of our lives where he is concerned. The man disappears faster and quieter than anyone in the spy business.
• Madison was stressed. She didn't have time to facetime us for picture "nonsense" because she had her work as an RA, training to learn how to close down the dorms before the holidays, and her finals which included her two chemistry classes for her major. Those two classes finally convinced her she was no longer going to major in that field. Add that to her stress level. 
• Tom kept asking what I was talking about. Which was annoying because he is my biggest critic on the Christmas cards. And frankly, the man really could care less.

The night we finally attempted the picture was my fault. I had just gotten out of the shower and into my pajamas and suddenly it hit me that we should have done this earlier. I threw on a shirt and my Steelers Santa hat and insisted that everyone do it. It was after midnight. In hindsight, it probably was not the time to do it, but dammit, Tom was there and our nephew was here to take the picture. Some of the issues included:

• I was sweating. After I shower, every night, and I'm serious about the every night part of that, I sweat and have to sit under a fan before I can even think about crawling into bed. This is why I'm up late at night. I wait too long to shower and then have to sit for a half an hour to cool off. This night the Santa hat added to the heat as did all of the whining and griping about having to take this picture, so that had me a tad bitchy.
• Technical issues. Okay, so my girls were here at home, but we liked the idea so much that we were going to pretend they weren't. Madison's feed was fine, but Darcy's feed was too bright. Ted, my nephew and photographer, kept telling us it wasn't looking good and so that made me sweat more and made Tom ask, "What are we doing this for?"
• We looked awful. Tom refused to change his shirt. I had on my pajama bottoms. After we gave up, I studied my photo as I usually do and then I couldn't sleep all night disgusted with myself for my weight, my unhealthiness, and my lack of sleep that gives me puffy eyes. Oh, and I didn't like my hair and the Steelers portion of my hat was unreadable.

Darcy: "We'll send out New Year's cards this year. No worries."

Madison: "We always send out New Years every year. Why isn't this just our tradition? It would solve a lot."

Me: "I did that one time."

Madison: "Well, then starting this year it will be our new tradition!"

Darcy: "I'm down with that!"

Tom: "What are we talking about?"

So, readers here is our failed Christmas card. Merry, merry to everyone. And be on the lookout for our New Year's card. It just might show up in your mailbox as you are taking down your holiday decorations.