Daughter successful? Check.

After getting some blood work done, I went into a Starbucks for some quiet time, tea, and a little sugar before I had to meet with someone to look over a venue. I was sitting in the corner with my back to the door going over my lists of things I need to do in the next four weeks. I was in a Starbucks that I very rarely frequent as it is a good distance from my house so I wasn't expecting to run into anyone I know. As I sat there sipping and clicking, I heard two women talking and I realized that I recognized one of the voices.

It was a woman whose daughter was Maddy's bestie from age three to 8th grade. I hadn't seen the mother since the girls graduated middle school. I turned around and waved. She screamed. jumped up and met in the middle of our two tables. She was with another mother whose daughter is between my girls in age and so we all exchanged pleasantries and hugs.

And then we began doing what all SAHM do. We talked about the children. She started off by congratulating Madison on her choice of colleges. She told the other mother. The other mother began asking me questions. I congratulated Maddy's friend's mother on her daughter and politely inquired about the other mother's daughter. It went back and forth like this with each one of us adding accomplishments and accolades on our kids' performances and schools, and suddenly I just wanted to start laughing and shout.

"Is this all we have ladies?"

It was like we had to outdo one another so that we could justify something to ourselves and each other. Kid in college? Check. Mother did that well. Honors college acceptance? Check. Scholarships? Check. Wow. That mother was on top of things. Beautiful dress for prom? Check. On and on it went until I just wanted to get away. I wanted to pat them on the back, tell them great job, and go back to my corner and my tea.

That is the problem with giving up a career and choosing to stay at home raising children full time. We have nothing else. Our whole lives have been devoted to these little rugrats who are now legal adults. What we have in the way of accomplishments is all in our children and what they have accomplished. We take pride in that, but we also feel it is a reflection on us. Because what else do we have to show for the last eighteen years?

It is our issue for sure, but society has a lot to do with our feelings. Staying at home and raising children doesn't get the positive attention it got back in the days of our mothers. While today's working woman cheers us on it is usually done secretly while staring down their noses at us. I don't fault those type of women anymore than I do the SAHMs who turn around and do the same. We all made our choices. Except that we SAHMs will be left with what? Our jobs will walk out the door to start their own lives, preferably with a great job making lots of money and how ironic is that? We mothers will be left standing at the door waiting for them to need us.

And then we will go out into the world for a cup of tea, run into people we know, and tell them all about the wonderful life our children are leading. Thanks to us. Check.