I'm a believer in signs. Some call it fate. Others, divine intervention. It's been a long week. I learned something that upset me, and since it isn't mine to share, I won't, but know that it brought me to my knees.
That happens ever so often. I tootle along, content in the way I've handled life, and BAM, like walking into a wall, reality hits. I usually know beforehand, odd as that might seem, but there is a feeling, almost a sense of dread. I'm never truly prepared. BAM!
The first few days following, I didn't sleep. I existed because I had to. I sought counsel, met things straight on, researched, and talked my way through moving forward. As I struggled, I found signs--dialogue from a book I read. Words from strangers. Lyrics in songs. Things that said to me, blame yourself, absolve, make plans, keep trucking.
Midway through the week, our weather in one night went from the seventies to the forties. When I first moved to Florida, someone told me that the reason why I was sick often was the state rarely got cold enough to clear out the germs. Wednesday, the bacteria were cleared, and I managed to stand--tip-toeing, but upright.
Damn. Life is hard, isn't it? There is the good, the bad, the ugly, and, hopefully, much more good. It's hard not to want to solve everything, to erase the bad and the ugly, but slowly, this week, I've had the wake-up call. It's easy to be judgmental. Not so easy when the tables are turned.
Life.
I'll learn from it. Already, I'm listening more. I've readjusted things. I'm protecting better, loving greater. I'm grateful to you who've helped, who've reached out and especially to you who haven't run. Thank you, my peeps.
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