Email Interests

Every once in a while I receive emails that I keep thinking will come in handy someday. The following is one of those emails. Perhaps this information will be useful to someone. Or perhaps someone out there has tried one of these remedies and can confirm that I am an idiot and should delete my emails.

Who Knew?

• Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?


• Chewing on a couple of Altoids clears up a stuffed nose? (okay maybe I could have figured this one out on my own, but for how long? Do you just keep chewing them all day long?)


• Taking two tablets of Alka-Seltzer at the first symptoms of a urinary tract infection will eliminate it instantly?


• A dab of honey on a skin blemish covered by a Band-Aid will kill the bacteria and heal the blemish?


• Soaking your fungal toes in Listerine will keep your toenails healthy?

• To remove a splinter all you need is to smear Elmer's Glue all over the splinter, let it dry, and peel it off. The splinter sticks to the glue. (Really? Doesn't tape work?)

• Hunt's tomato paste will soothe the pain of a boil?

• A soaked cotton ball full of vinegar will reduce the blueness in a bruise and speed up the healing process?

Happy Birthday to me

This is part of an email I received, and I thought it appropriate since today is my birthday. The email was titled Girlie Wisdom:

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.


2. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.


3. The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.


4. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


5. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.


6. I gave up jogging when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my pants.


7. Ever notice how you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes?


8. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say, "You know sometimes I forget to eat!" Now I've forgotten my address, my keys, my mother's maiden name, but I can honestly say I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget that!


9. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.


10. I read an article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are you kidding me? That's my idea of a perfect day!