Out of the mouths of someone else

Recently while SnapChatting with my SIL Susan (ok, it is almost a daily occurrance because whoa! a lot happens each day in our life) she had to plug in her phone so she wouldn't lose me. She plugged it in, sat at her desk and we chatted. She had just finished making and eating breakfast when she pulled out a bag of Doritos.

Gabby: "Mom! It's not even 11:00 a.m. and you're eating chips?"
Susan: "Yes, I am. Cara, have you seen these? Doritos Blaze. Gabby says they are great."
Me: "Ugh. Yeah, that's giving me reflux just thinking about eating them."
Susan: "I'm going to try them."

Susan: "Wow, look at this chip. It even smells hot just holding it in my hand."
Me: "Yep, not even tempted to want to try those. You're 50 now. You have to start watching what you eat."

She popped the chip into her mouth and no sooner did she swallow and she was reaching for a glass of water and fanning her mouth.

Gabby: "Is it hot?"
Susan: "Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. That's hot."
Me: "Yuck. Drink some milk."
Susan: "Oh, my gosh, that was hot. How did you eat half this bag already, Gabby?"
Gabby: "I liked them. I like spicy stuff."
Susan: "That's just crazy. There is no way. That was all I'm eating. Hand me my bag of Funyans."

Sanibel 2018 - Day 3

I slept in on Day 3. My alarm only goes off on the weekdays and I forgot this was a weekend. Oops. The other two walked the beach and had their coffee by the time I got up. They waited for me to have a cup and get dressed and we hiked the beach to the breakfast buffet.

The day started out cloudy, but the sun peeked out intermittently and so we went back to our spot on the beach. I was reading a great book and so I had my nose in it most of the day. The other two sunbathed and then Susan decided to play in the sand. Eventually, her sister joined her to help and a photography session ensued.

Susan went off for a walk and a couple strolled by to read the message. It was hard to read with one's eyes, but easy to read through the camera lens so people would stop and mumble a lot. It was entertaining.

Him: "Which one of you is Susan? It is Susan, right?"
Gina: "It is. She isn't here."
Me: "She is walking the beach."
Her: "Tell her Happy Birthday."
Him: "Yes, tell her Happy Birthday from us and tell her to order anything she wants at the bar and charge it us."

We laughed and they continued down the beach. Later, after lunch and more sunning, we gathered our stuff and went to the pool. The same couple strolled by and I pointed out Susan to them. The man made his offer of drinks again and so Susan ordered a Bloody Mary. He offered to buy all of us drinks, but Gina and I thought his wife seemed to be a tad miffed so we declined. When they brought the Bloody Mary back we chatted them up as we are so good at (having been around Russ and Rusty all these years) and discovered they were from Harrisburg, PA.

Me: "I lived in Harrisburg!"
Susan: "That's where my husband was born!"
Me: "Well, her husband is my brother so we both lived there. CampHill actually."
Them: "That's where we live."

Small world. Turns out they had gone to a Notre Dame football game in South Bend and so the wife finally relaxed a tad before they wished us all well and moved on. Susan said it was the best Bloody Mary she had ever had. She made me SnapChat a photo to my brother.

Gina and I got our own beverages and we sat outside chatting with people poolside before we called it a day and headed back to the room to get ready for dinner. We ate dinner at the other restaurant connected with the resort, ordering stuff to share. We sat overlooking the pool and agreed that Susan's niece had planned a terrific 50th vacation. We drank to her again.

I changed the card game that night and won. We packed up our stuff with the two of them having to practically sit on their suitcases to get them closed. Another early flight would have us up and at 'em the next morning at 4:30 a.m. but we stayed up past midnight anyhow. Why not? These two were going back to snow and cold weather so we kept the door open by the balcony and decided maybe we should come back next year for Susan's 51st.

Sanibel 2018 - Day 2

Susan was up early. The woman doesn't sleep much after beating cancer, so once I joined her for coffee on the balcony, she woke up her sister--no sleeping in on this vacation. We did the breakfast buffet, sitting outside overlooking the pool, and then I insisted we bike ride so that I could get in my exercise. They agreed, and the nice girls running the equipment shack gave us a map to the lighthouse, a 3.6-mile bike ride. That almost put off Susan because that would be a round trip of seven miles, but I convinced her we wouldn't have to go the whole way if we thought it too much.

The weather was beautiful. It was only about 71 degrees, and we had a nice breeze and the sun the entire trip. I went first because my legs were the longest, and after a shaky start, I got into a nice rhythm. I've ridden enough with my biker husband, and so as I passed other bikers and walkers, I said, "Bike left" as I rode around them. I also used a lot of energy, saying good morning to everyone coming toward me from the opposite direction. Everyone was out either biking or hiking, so I bet I said that over a hundred times. It got exhausting. At one point, I wondered aloud if it were still morning and a walker assured me it was.

Her: "It's 10:45 a.m. You're still good."

I probably had gone a mile before I realized I had left the other two far behind. I had to pull over and wait for Susan and Gina to catch up and ask for directions, but Susan had left the map behind, so we decided to just wing it. I set off again and periodically pulled over to wait for them. We made it to the lighthouse, which turned out to be one of the top ten destinations on Sanibel. We parked the bikes and hiked around the lighthouse and the beach, chatting with people we met.

Sanibel is known for its shells. They are everywhere on the beach, but I kept making them put them back as they picked them up. I still have two containers of my mom's shells sitting on my front porch, and that's after we got rid of the other boxes she owned. I know they snuck some in their luggage, but I may or may not have tossed some back. 

We were wearing our matching shirts that said we were part of Susan's 50th crew, so we met many people who wanted to read our shirts. Gina and I always pointed to Susan as the oldest. She always let them know she wasn't 50 yet. People were so nice, wishing her a happy birthday and chatting with us. It was a great bike trip. It was so great I'm looking to move to Sanibel because I would be skinny if I lived here and biked everywhere.

I made it back to the resort before the others, so I circled the parking lot a couple of times. There was a gentleman worried about his convertible. He kept walking back to it as if someone was going to steal it. I passed him twice and then again as he finally decided to leave the car and walked two rows over toward the resort. He stopped abruptly.

Me: "Don't worry, I won't run you over. I've got the hang of it now. I just biked 7 miles."

He laughed and moved on. I circled the lot again until the girls arrived. 

We rode back to the return area, and as I came around the corner to the shack, the same man was standing there.

Him: "This woman tried to hit me in the parking lot!"

Me: "Please. I let you get away, but I think I may have dinged your car."

He stared at me and then threw back his head and laughed and laughed. People were so friendly on this island, I tell ya. I loved biking. I could have biked to the other end of the island, but my back was aching from sitting up straight for so long, so I didn't chance it. We changed into our suits and hiked to the beach, where our island boy, Omario, got us chairs and umbrellas. We also got a beverage from the tiki bar. It was 5 o'clock somewhere.

The weather was perfect. We had lunch, we sunbathed., and then we walked the beach. I got into the water. 

Later that evening, we drove to Captiva Island thirty minutes away, to take a sunset cruise. It was chilly, but we were prepared for that, and the crew had blankets aboard. The cruise was about an hour and a half. It wasn't anything great. We only saw one dolphin, and some man kept getting in our way during the setting of the sun, but it was fun nonetheless. We learned a little history of the islands and met a bunch of nice people.

We ate at a restaurant in Captiva with a waiter that apparently had a bug up his ass. We tried our best to woo him over to the good side, but either we had lost our charm, or he was just too far gone, or we pissed him off regarding something.

Me: "I'll have a Captain Morgan and a coke."

Kyle: "Beer or wine."

**

Me: "What do you recommend for dinner?"

Kyle: "Seafood or no seafood."

**

Me: "Which dessert do you recommend? Never mind, I know. Dessert or no dessert."

We gave him his 20 percent, but I think I'm going to need to mention his behavior on my Yelp review. Jeez, buddy. He was the only unfriendly person we encountered the entire trip, and that includes the guy we were sure was stalking us. Of course, stalkers are always friendly because, well, they are trying to get into your good graces. I learned that in the FBI. FYI.

We ended the night the same way we had the previous night--we played cards. Gina won this night. We contemplated rearranging the furniture as the maid had put back a chair and an ottoman we had moved. We thought it might be funny to set up a camera to see her reaction the next day if we put our mattresses on the dining room floor and the dining table in the living room. But it was too much work, and we hadn't had enough to drink. 50 years and over, you know.

Day 2 in the bag!

Sanibel 2018 - Day 1

Last fall, my SIL Susan's niece, Leeandra, began planning a 50th birthday celebration for her aunt. First, she thought about a cruise and contacted me to include me in their family. While I was touched, I declined due to financial reasons, but when it was changed to a trip to Florida, well, that was easier as I'm already in Florida. Her niece planned the whole trip, including matching shirts, and we kept it a surprise until the reveal. Susan was very shocked.

Being the person in charge came with some drama (unintentional on her part) and, in the end, some trauma. Her mother went into the hospital two days before the trip, and because she is an only child, Leeandra had to forgo the trip to take care of her mother. Ugh, I know that feeling. But the trip was paid for, and heavy hearts Susan, her sister Gina, and I went on without her. We did include her every day as we enjoyed the trip she had planned. We toasted her, we thanked her, we wore our shirts, and we kept in touch. It was a nice thing to have done for her aunt, and I was thrilled that she included me as part of it.

Sanibel Island 2018 began for Susan and her sister on Wednesday in a hotel in Indianapolis. Their plane left the next morning at 5:20 a.m. I left my house at 7:00 a.m. for the two and a half-hour drive to pick them up at the Ft. Myers airport. The weather held, they made their connecting flight and arrived on time. I came a few minutes later, and we met up to begin the fun.

We ate breakfast and shopped for supplies in Ft. Myers and then headed across the bridge to the island, about a forty-minute drive. Because it was a Thursday, traffic wasn't bad, but I would hate to be arriving on a Friday, and I would hate to be a local during a hurricane.

I'd been to Sanibel before with my mother and her friend when I first moved here. It wasn't anything like I remembered. Sanibel is true to old Florida with no big businesses and minimal high rises. If you want gas or a grocery, you have mom and pop shops or go over the bridge. Bike and walking paths run along the road and have the right of way, and everyone is very pleasant. I could see myself living there.

Our resort was a beautiful place directly on the beach that had once been a condominium division. It went through a bankruptcy, and the resort came in and helped pick up the pieces. We had a two-bedroom condo package, and everything came with it, including chairs, umbrellas, bikes, kayaks, paddleboards, etc. We had wristbands and agreed we would try everything. Our room wasn't ready, so we got chairs and an umbrella and sat on the beach in our clothes and had cocktails from the tiki bar.

Our room was large and spacious. Susan and her sister took the master room because it overlooked the beach, and I got a room and bathroom to myself across the way. We had two living rooms, a kitchen, and a beautiful balcony that overlooked our pool and the beach. We took a lot of pictures from this balcony where we enjoyed our coffee every morning.

Our package included a $70 credit to the resort's Japanese restaurant, and we agreed we would go there that night. The room had four tables that allowed seating for eight. We went early and were joined by a couple from Canada. We chatted with them and the wait staff and had the room to ourselves for the first hour.

I'm not a fan of this type of place because I swear I got sick at our local Japanese restaurant, which has since closed. But this place was small and clean. Susan had lobster and scallops. Gina had chicken. I had chicken and shrimp. The lobster was from Maine and had arrived the day before, and the shrimp was from Louisiana and HUGE. It was the freshest shrimp I have ever put into my mouth, and I live in Florida. It still tasted of the ocean, I swear. The meal was delicious, and afterward, they brought Susan a piece of chocolate cake, and we all sang Happy Birthday to her. The triple chocolate cake was SO GOOD. 

We were stuffed after the meal, and so we walked around the resort. We discovered that breakfast was a buffet in the morning, starting at 6:00 a.m. We all agreed we would not be there at that time. Who goes on vacation and gets up before six to eat? Crazy people, that's who.

Me: "And old people."

Susan: "Well, I am turning, 50."

Me: "We aren't eating at 6:00 a.m. Forget it. We aren't crazy old people just yet."

The pool closed at dusk, but we did get to play some corn hole. I won. I'm letting everyone know that because, according to everyone that knows me, winning is important to me. I believe it is when competing because, uh, why wouldn't it be, but I don't get depressed if I don't win. Hmmm...well, maybe in certain games. 

We ended the night by shopping in the little store at the resort with a few tourist things. Susan bought a coffee cup with palm trees. I left the store without my phone, and so we visited the store twice that night. We also outwitted a guy we were sure was following us. I used my FBI training to make him think we lived in a different resort. 

Despite having been up most of the twenty-four hours, we stayed up late playing cards, laughing, and talking. We only had three days, so we were determined to make the most of every little second. We headed off to bed with plans to be up early to grasp Day 2, and all it would have to offer.