Austin's tips for porta-potty use

While headed to the county fair during our Indiana trip, it was mentioned that we should probably pull over at a fast food place to use the facilities to avoid using the fair's porta-potties. Austin, who spent considerable time one summer with an ex-girlfriend selling fresh fruits and vegetables in the middle of fields and parking lots, piped up from the back seat with porta-potty usage advice. 

Austin's 10 tips for port-a-potty usage

1. If you can, learn the cleaning schedule - Knowing this helpful information, you can always be assured of a fresh, clean john as the first user.
2. The wad and throw method - If you happen to be the first person in the porta-potty, throw a huge wad of toilet paper down into the hole to prevent blue splash-back. This can be very difficult to remove. 
3. Peer first -  Check the hole before usage because adding to an already significant build-up might send things over the edge. In this case, use another porta-potty.
4. Arm yourself - Check trashcans for cardboard on your way to the porta-potty. These can be torn up and fitted over the seats as a barrier.
5. On the way in - Bugs can create havoc for potty users, so to decrease the chance of pests, wipe the outside of the air vents before entering. 
6. Once inside - Always properly shut and bolt the door to avoid unwanted visitors.
7. Or - If in an uncrowded and secluded area, using a rock to prop open the door offers better airflow.
8. Afterwards - Carrying hand sanitizer is a good rule of thumb for life, especially in areas where porta-potty usage is high. You can't always count on sinks and soaps.
9. Snakes - It is a myth that snakes like to inhabit porta-potties. But if you do have concerns in this area, do not shine your cell phone light down the hole in case you drop it.
10. Usage after dark - Do not use a porta-potty after dark as the company will not check first before carting the facility away.

South Bend Adventure #2 - Elkhart County Fair

The Mason clan had never been to the county fair despite the fact that it is one of the largest county fairs in the U.S.  I thought that an odd claim as I wandered the fairgrounds thinking it wasn't any bigger than our state fair in Florida until I realized a county and a state were two different fairs, silly me.  Then I compared it to the Vanderburgh County fair of my day and realized that yes Elkhart was much bigger.

The fair was Kelly's idea and so the girls and Austin, my nephew, piled into the Suz Mobile and headed off for an adventure.  I had looked the directions up earlier on my Iphone and the Elkhart County Fair site suggested not using a GPS because several of the county roads were not recognized so Susan printed directions off the computer.  Armed with those and the GPS we managed to veer off track somewhat when we decided to follow the "this way to the fair" signs.  We did arrive safely, parked, hiked, purchased tickets, and entered the fairgrounds.

The first areas we passed by were the animals.  I led everyone through the birthing cow tent where pregnant cows were in various stages of labor from not ready yet to here is my baby.  One poor cow was obviously in some painful labor as she lay on the ground, her swollen belly protruding, breathing heavily and none too happy.  The pregnant cow in the pen next to her kept sticking her head over to the in labor cow's side and offering what I liked to think was soothing words of encouragement.  I have to admit I was taken aback by their size.  These cows were HUGE!

The next animal tent we went into was the horse tent.  I never made it pass the first stall because this horse was seriously GIGANTIC.  I know my mouth hung open the entire time I was standing there.  I am not a horse lover at all, but this horse was magnificent.  It was a Shire horse.  These horses are work horses that can pull 40 tons.  The males stand at an average of 70 inches and weighs between 1,700 to 2,000 pounds.  I was so busy marveling at this horse and thinking how I would never in hell approach one of them that I never took a picture of it.  But it was as big as this thing:

 

We entered into the food area and began spreading out at different booths to try different things.  We had corn dogs, BBQ pork, hot dogs, lemon drinks, cotton candy, etc.  There was a fried potato chip mound with cheese and onions and chili that looked so delicious, but it cost too much and I knew I wouldn't be thrilled after consuming it so I passed.

The kids wanted to do some rides so we paid an ungodly amount of money for tickets and the four first rode the Crazy Mouse roller coaster and then Austin and Madison flew high on another ride.  It lasted about one minute and did not mess up Austin's hair.

We wandered some more and ended up at the games where we played a few and then got caught by a bored carnival booth operator who encouraged Susan to throw darts at balloons.  It started out free and then he gave everyone a shot at hitting the balloons.  I didn't throw, but took photos.  Austin was the only one who hit a balloon so the guy gave him a prize.  Susan felt obligated to pay the man so she gave him $5.00.  We started to walk away, but he encouraged her to go again.  She told him she wasn't paying any more money.  He told her to try it for free.  She declined, but he insisted so she walked back and lined up to throw.  At some point in there he made her a deal; throw until she hit one, pay $2.00 when she hit.  She didn't hear this part, but the kids heard it.

She hit and missed.  He gave her another dart.  She hit and missed.  She thanked him.  He gave her another dart.  This went on several times until she hit one.  Everyone cheered.  The booth operator wanted his $2.00.  Susan was aghast.  She told him she wasn't paying him any more money.  He was aghast.  But that was the deal.  The two of them went back and forth with Susan getting really angry.  She paid him the money and called him a scammer and a cheat.  He then didn't want the money.  We ended up leaving it and walking away.

Our next bit of excitement came in a tent where several different companies had booths set up to give demonstrations and to sell products.  We entered and the first area was set up for a cooking show to sell kitchen products with Chef Lloyd.  A group of chairs was set up, but it was obviously not time for the show or it had already happened, but everything was vacant.  Our group passed by it and turned the corner to head down the aisle.  I noticed Austin had disappeared so I stopped and turned around to find him behind the cooking counter putting on the headset.

He has spent most of his four years of high school in the drama department and in
telecommunications so this was right up his alley.  He got the headset on and began pretending he was going to cook something with the fake vegetables sitting in a glass bowl in front of him.

The mic wasn't on so no one could hear him, but I snickered and Susan came around the corner looking for us and she too laughed.  Then suddenly a man approached came up to the booth and we were sure Austin would be kicked out.  Instead the man asks him a question about one of the cooking items.

Austin:  "Let me guess.  You would be Chef Lloyd."
Man:  "What?  My name is Mike."

Turned out the guy just wanted an answer on a product that had suction cups on it.  His problem was that the thing kept coming unstuck and falling off.  Austin decided to play along and pretend he knew what the hell he was talking about.

Austin:  "I don't own one of these myself, but I have several gadgets with suction cups on them and I have found that the best way to use them is to get them wet first.  I like to lick the suction cups before attaching them to whatever surface I'm using."


The guy seemed happy with that answer, thanked Austin for his time, shook his hand, and wandered off.  Austin took off the headset and moseyed over to join our group, which had now gathered together again to witness this demo, quite proud of himself.  We moved on through the tent watching demonstrations and checking out products that we wanted but couldn't bring home on the plane.

We finished our adventure by going back through the rabbit tent and the chicken tent.  We washed our hands, bought some more to drink, and headed back to the car.  We got into some traffic getting out, but the line to get into the fair was miles and miles and we quite glad that we had come at the time we did.  We declared it a winner of an activity and gave props to Kelly for suggesting it.

South Bend Adventure #1 - Wakarusa Dime Store

My sis-in-law picked us up at the airport where I had to return our rental car.  She and my niece loaded us all up in her SUV and headed to a restaurant to eat because that is our MO when in South Bend.  On the way I began quizzing the group on what so far had been the favorite thing on this vacation.

Kelly:  "The intercom at the EFR."
Madison:  "The intercom at the EFR."
Darcy:  "The intercom at the EFR."
Me:  "The intercom at the EFR."

Susan:  "Well, Gabby, this should be an easy group to entertain as the bar isn't set as high as I thought it would be.  We got this!"

And they did.  We had quite a few adventures while visiting the Mason clan, first up the Wakarusa Dime Store.  This is a little local place that is like going back to the days of the ten cent stores (although the prices were not anywhere near those nor were they a dime).  The outside had a porch with rocking chairs for sitting and enjoying a refreshing bottled cola.  The inside had wooden floors, a  colored coordinated candy section, and the largest gummy worm ever in its own glass case.

Entering in the back

Largest gummy worm

 

 Color coordinated candy

Darcy was thrilled!  There were some interesting items that one never sees as well as candy from my youth.  Kelly and I wandered through the rooms telling stories of candy we had eaten back in the day while the three younger girls ignored us and gathered up goodies to buy. 

 Candy of my youth

 Interesting candy with my name on it

Kelly bought fudge, I bought a bag of gum balls, and Susan chatted with the kid behind the candy counter about working there.  She left with an application and no intention of applying.

We sat on the porch for awhile eating candy and then we headed back to our car doing the conga...

From the travel journal - Days 7 - 10

Darcy's entry:

The next day we drove around Evansville and toured Mom's college UE.  Mom bought a shirt and Maddy and I a notebook and purple pen.  Then we took some pictures and toured more places and finally got into the car.

I tried to get them to take me to G.D. Ritzy's again, but they wouldn't budge.  Nobody was really hungry because we were in Donut Bank for 2 1/2 hours because they offered WIFI!  We were like crazed people who had everything but Wifi because we walked in with two IPads, three IPhones, and a laptop.  After all that time no one wanted to eat.

Later that day we hooked up with Kristen and we went to Hacienda.  We stayed there for a long time talking and drinking, and then we went back to Kristen's house where we hung out, talked some more, and enjoyed more wifi.

We eventually left there and went to Lic's Ice Cream where we got two pints of chococremes.  Mom got a delicious red raspberry sorbet drink and Kelly, Maddy, and I got ice cream cones.  We then went home and played cards and watched a VCR movie.

On Wednesday we got up and decided we would go caving the next day.  We then drove around Evansville again for a long time and then Mom took me to G.D. Ritzy's!  Then we went to the mall.  I bought a ring, a headband, and a bracelet, and Mom bought me a dress.  After that we went to the Canton Inn for Maddy, Mom, and Kelly's dinner.  I had G.D. Ritzy's!  Then we went home and played cards and unpacked our new belongings.

In the morning the EFR went on a caving expedition.  We had to leave at 9:30 AM.  We had a three hour drive that took forever and I quickly got car sick so I broke the no electronic rule and watched TV on the drive.

We finally arrived at the cave and we went into the store.  Mom and Kelly bought the tickets and sat on a bench and waited while Maddy and I went over to the rock bin where you fill a bag of rocks and pay for what you can jam into one bag that closes.  Maddy and I each filled a bag.  She got 25 in hers and I got 21 rocks in mine so I moved to the bigger bag.  I fit 101 rocks in that one.  I bought Savanna a ceramic alligator and myself some rock candy.  Then we went on this boat cave tour.

The tour guide was very good and had a sense of humor.  He was very big on rules and about gave me a heart attack when he told us to touch the roof and then fake yelled at us.  It sure scared the pee out of me.

After the cave tour we drove two hours back.  Kelly wanted to find a shirt so she and I went into Target (even after all the time she complained that Target doesn't have any clothes for her)while Madison and Mom went to Mayse to buy corn.

At Target I found Maddy's favorite shorts for 50% off so I texted her.  Then I found her favorite $17 shirt in different colors and designs for only $8 a piece.  So Maddy and Mom came back and they too bought some clothes.  I found a pair of $5 flats and bought them for myself.  Then we picked up a pizza at Pizza Oven and went home.

The next day we had to leave Evansville.  We cleaned, packed and left.  Now we are still on the road heading to Don's (Kelly's dad) house for dinner.  We have stocked up on lots of soda for South Bend.  I'm very excited to see Gabby tomorrow.  Now I'm just going to pass on the journal because my hand has now started to hurt!

Kelly's entry:

Cara has decided that she is bored, bored, bored with I-65.  She wanted me to say that ASAP.  Cara is thrilled that the speed limit is now up to 70 mph.  She is worried about what Connie will say about her not being able to find her grandparents' house in Corydon.  We did find Butt Drugs though, tee hee.

She would like Madison to massage her neck and shoulders, but Maddy is not responding.  Earlier she thought she was having a heart attack.  A few big gulps of Diet Coke and a belch seemed to help.  We are on our way to Dad's house in Columbus.  I am sad to leave the EFR.

 

Walked around the pond looking for Cuzzy's grave.  Didn't find it.  Did see lots of snake holes and lots of animal paw prints.  Also saw scattered at the edge some shells and shell fragments.  Looks to me like raccoons have been enjoying a little seafood.  Darcy and Cara confirmed my suspicions.  Apparently they are freshwater mussels.  

Walked the gravel road back to the house and smelled the forest.  It smelled terrific and looked gorgeous.  Took time to thank God for this little corner of creation.  I love looking at the woods and smelling it.  I will miss it.

We enjoyed ourselves with the intercom system, first pretending we were giving announcements to the guests and then using it like staff walkie-talkies to announce status of the house clean-up, ie...."Basement level clear and secure."  "Roger." or "Unclaimed property in master bedroom."  It was also fun playing pool with Maddy and Darcy.  They were pretty good competition.

Cara's entry:

I enjoyed the caving adventure, although we didn't go about it like we should have because of our limited knowledge of Indiana geography of that particular area and our lack of a printed map.  Kelly attempted to find a map of Indiana or an atlas at the EFR, but she struck out.  (No one really wanted to go through all the personal stuff in her dad's boxes, but we did look on the outside of them hoping for the word "Maps" to be on one of them)

The drive through the Hoosier National forest was beautiful once we got off the interstate.  Madison did most of the navigating on this trip due to Kelly's lack of knowledge (and interest) in Apple Technology.  "You people with your smart phones and your IPads can just maneuver your way around them without me."  We realized later that there was a quicker route to the cave, and we took that one home, but going there took longer than we had anticipated. 

So...I enjoyed the caving adventure, but thought it not worth the drive and time.  Had we toured another cave along with this cave it would have been better.  All to do again another trip.

I have been to all of the caves in southern Indiana except for the Blue Springs Cavern in Bedford.  The cave was discovered by the property owner after a huge storm when he came outside to find his pond had disappeared into a sink hole.  Upon further investigation he discovered the entrance to the cave.

We had to walk down a steep incline to the entrance, which the guide told us we would have to walk up again upon our return. (Not easy to do after all the eating we did in Evansville)  We went into the cave and got into a boat sitting back to back in two rows. The cave is only toured by boat as it has a river running through it.

 

The guide was funny and informative, although not so great at piloting as we hit the sides of the cave several times.  The water was very clear and icy with a few critters like crayfish scuttling along on the bottom.  The tour was over far too quickly, and really wasn't as exciting as Marengo or Wyandotte Caves, but it got us of the house and it was certainly refreshing with temperatures in the 50's.

On the way to the cave adventure we stopped off in Orleans, IN for some lunch.  I wanted to stop at some place that would cook me up some good old fashioned southern Indiana cooking (besides my Aunt Lorene's) so we stopped at the only restaurant in town.

I ordered sweet tea, but it came to me as sugar water and it didn't get any better after that.  I did have some tasty pole beans though.  Kelly and Maddy ordered BLT's and declared them tasty, but I wasn't too happy with my meal, and even unhappier when I discovered they didn't make their own pies.  Sigh.

The next day we cleaned the EFR, getting in our last gags on the intercom, before we headed to Columbus to have dinner and spend time with Kelly's father.  The dinner was delicious, and Don's homemade cherry pie was the best I've ever had.  He kept trying to push us to eat more and more and hacked off huge pieces of watermelon for us to enjoy.  We sat outside after dinner in the backyard as the weather had cooled some and there was a nice breeze.

Don was thrilled to see his daughter and happy that we had enjoyed our time at his forest retreat.  I'm glad we made the trip and was sorry that he didn't come down to Evansville for a couple of days as he would have fit right in playing cards and making announcements on the intercom.

 
The drive back to Indy was easy and fast as we chatted about our evening and I called Connie to keep her informed.  It was nice to get back to Ann's house as it is so homey and the lay out so big and spread out for all of us.  She had made cookies and an egg and bacon casserole for breakfast.  We sat at the kitchen table and chatted with her about our adventures while we demolished her cookies and then we all settled in for the night.  Tomorrow we are back on the road heading toward South Bend where we turn in our rental car and spend a week with the Mason family.

Attention guests of the EFR

By the second day of our stay at the Evansville house, dubbed the Elshoff Forest Retreat, we were quite adept at using the intercom system. We found it came in handy especially when we were in different rooms throughout the house. (The following is just a sample of the silly things heard over the intercom and don't necessarily belong to the correct speaker)

Darcy: "Attention guests of the EFR, the billiard tournament will begin in the game room at 4:00 PM.  Anyone interested in participating should report to the game room for sign-ups."

Cara: "Attention guests of the EFR, the tour bus heading on a tour around the city of Evansville, with stops at the Donut Bank and The University of Evansville, will be heading out promptly at noon. Please meet at the main entrance."

 

Madison:  "Attention staff.  Toilet paper replacement needed in the bathroom on the main floor promptly."

Kelly: "Cruise Director, Julie McCoy, please report to the promenade deck.  Julie McCoy to the promenade deck."

 

Picture taken from:  http://outtaherejcp.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-love-boat-did-for-cruising.html

Probably the funniest thing that happened regarding the intercom happened after we had returned from a day away from the EFR.  Upon our return Kelly discovered the master bedroom balcony door ajar.  This set us off on an inspection of the house; not an easy thing to accomplish in a house that size with only four people.  

I went upstairs and the other three searched the main floor.  Two of the bedrooms, which were full of items from the owner, had full walk-in closets.  I hadn't really checked these rooms out until this search and I discovered that the closet in bedroom #1 actually wrapped around and joined the closet into bedroom #2.  There was a window at the rear of the closets and bulletin boards on each side of the rooms' closets.  I thought this a very cool addition especially for kids and I spent a bit of time wandering from side to side marveling at the detail and thought.

 Closet in bedroom #2 - view from room - turn

left at the window to enter other closet

Closet in bedroom #2 - view from closet looking into bedroom

I entered the first closet and walked in it toward the window checking for intruders.  I turned the corner and walked into the other side of the closet and then into the other bedroom.  At this point I imagined the intruder in the room I had just vacated so I went back into that room and started over, but I realized that as I went on one side of the closet the intruder could be on the other side.  I immediately went to an intercom.

Me:  "Attention staff.  I need an assistant on the upper floor spare bedroom #1."

And while one person went through on one side, another person went through on the other and we declared the upstairs intruder free.

Madison:  "Upstairs clear."

Darcy:  "Roger that.  Main floor clear as well."

We were not really all that concerned, but it was growing dark and the house had tons of entry points (there was an alarm system, but we were unsure of codes, etc. and so we left it alone) and just maybe a homeless person had stopped by for a cool place to sleep for the night.  We all looked at each other when it came to checking the basement floor.

Kelly:  "I say we just let the poor homeless person sleep down there since we aren't using it."

Darcy:  "But what if we want to play pool?"

Kelly:  "He can join in?" 

Me:  "I'll do it for heaven's sake or we won't be able to sleep tonight and I'm not going to do this in the dark."  And I trooped downstairs, both the girls at my heels for "my own protection".

We split up and searched the basement floor checking to be sure doors and windows were locked.  Above, Kelly waited at the top of the stairs, armed with a knife (just in case), peering down into the doorway and checking periodically behind her in case someone might sneak up quietly.   We apparently did not realize how on edge she was until Madison spoke into the intercom downstairs.  The intercom that happened to be right by Kelly's ear.

Madison:  "Basement clear!"

Kelly began screaming at Darcy because that is who she thought yelled into the intercom.  By the time we got upstairs, laughing at her nervousness, she was pacing the kitchen and waving the knife and yelling at all of us.  We found it hilarious and by the time she had calmed down it was dark outside and lightning streaked the sky.  We joked about being stuck in the house without power, and no sooner did that leave someone's mouth then the power went out and we were left sitting in the dark.  It didn't last but a second, but it was enough to get us moving assembling flashlights, lighters, and candles to store in the kitchen...just in case.

"Attention guests of the EFR.  Rest assure that the staff has everything under control.  If we should lose power, please remain calm and stay where you are.  A staff member will be around with lighting to move you to the kitchen on the main floor where food and drink will be served and a variety of card games will be offered."