Day 12 - Oban, but not really - part 2

We had been driving along on the usual narrow roads, but the winding and twisting had been minimal for several hours. With all of our stopping we had been on the road for about five hours and we were quickly beginning to tie of it. I had picked out a few possibilities to explore in Oban and now we realized that wouldn't happen today.

Maude alerted us to the fact that we needed to make some turns and Tom followed her. Suddenly we were climbing up, up, up higher into the mountains and the road was narrowing and getting twister as we went. Drivers in Ireland and Scotland have no fear. Twisty, mountainous roads? Pfft. We drive 100 mph on these with our eyes closed. Cars would come toward us (on the right side) at an alarmingly high speed whether there was enough space for two cars to pass or not. This would make Tom veer toward the left to avoid damaging our car any further. This in turn would make me gasp, shout, clutch my heart, and close my eyes as I envisioned us rolling down the cliffs or smashing against the rocks that were seriously right next to my window.

Tom began his grousing about Maude and her directions. Madison was assuring him Maude was correct and that he needed to trust her. Darcy was lying down trying not to get car sick. I was shouting to stop so that I could take pictures of the cows that were so close to my window I could almost reach out and touch them.

Tom didn't like when cars were behind him. He felt he had to speed up or they would....what? we asked. Bash into you from behind? Honk? Pull out a gun and shoot out your tires? If he came to an area that had a pull out he would pull into it to let the cars behind him pass. When he did this close to some cows I rolled down the window and attempted to communicate with them. Being from Indiana I know how to communicate with cows, but I must have been rusty or there was some confusion because when I mooed a hello the cow got so startled he took off running. That sent Grandma into hysterics and woke up Darcy.

The next batch of cows I whispered to and we had a better conversation. Meanwhile Maude was leading Tom all over the place and he was becoming really annoyed. We finally came upon a sign that said "Oban" to the left, but Maude took us to the right. That set off a arguement discussion on whether Tom or Maude knew what they were doing.

The road she sent us traveling on suddenly turned into one lane and was heavily forested for miles. We were all getting a bit anxious as we drove further up into the mountains and it was at this point that I discovered we were not going into Oban at all, but into Kilchrenan which was to the east of Oban.

Grandma wondered aloud what in the world the travel agent was thinking, but she was game for adventure. The girls were tired of traveling and didn't care one way or the other where we landed. I just wanted to get off this one lane road to nowhere. Up, up, up we went twisting and turning. We saw absolutely nothing as we traveled. No signs. No houses. Nothing but wildlife. For seven miles!

As we kept creeping further and further up into the sky we all began to wonder if we should turn back. We wondered if Maude was in on some plot to destroy us. We began making up various scenarios that we should have written down because they were A level television plots for next season. We were snickering at our ideas, but barely because as we climbed and the road got narrower and the sky got darker and the forest began closing in on us we were all getting a tad antsy.

And then just like that we spotted something white, and as we got closer we saw that it was a house of some kind and then we saw a sign that said "Taychreggan Hotel". We drove up and then into a lot and we saw that the place was huge. There was no sign of any life. We followed a sign that said "parking" with an arrow and it took us through a tunnel to the other side of the property into a gravel parking area. There was one car parked there so we pulled up next to it and looked around.

We were on what appeared to be the back side of the property. The only entrance was down a covered concrete sidewalk that went downhill. The entire property was surrounded in woods and it was very, very, still and quiet.

Grandma: "It was a little odd driving up to the hotel since there was nothing around. We didn't see houses or people or anything. But once I saw it I remembered it from the Internet. They have a lot of weddings there."

Darcy: "I had no cell service when we parked.  Dad was making comments about how we were a thousand miles from civilization and Maddy was making comments about slavery and kidnapping and all of that made me think I was going to die."

Madison: "I had been asleep and woke up on the one lane road. I saw nothing but a forest. We were covered in a forest on this gravel one lane road with absolutely nothing else around us. Then suddenly there was a white building. A huge white building and then another building off to the side and it all looked very much like an insane asylum."

Tom: "It was like nobody was there. It was like in The Shining. The big hotel with no one there."

Everyone but Madison got out of the car. Usually at hotels Tom handled things, but this time I think unconscionably we felt we needed to stay together. I was annoyed Madison wouldn't get out. A part of me was wondering if she would be in there when we returned. The place was kind of getting to me at this point.

I led the way along the sidewalk and down to the door. There was no sign to inform us that we were on the right track, but it was unlocked. We went down a few steps and then through another door that took us into a dark, carpeted hallway. I was actually a bit anxious as we went further inside. I read mostly mystery novels and this place was a spooky setting for one. Suddenly, and I wondered if I had blinked, a man appeared in front of us with no warning. I stopped and Tom slammed into me, and I imagined that Grandma and Darcy did the same, but by then my imagination was out of control.

He was dressed impeccably in a black suit and tie. He stood like he had a rod up his white shirt; straight, tall, hands in front of him. His shoes were polished and he practically clicked them together when he greeted us and told me to follow him. I looked behind me at Tom and rolled my eyes. Darcy muttered under her breath we should run for it. We followed him.

We went through the hallway and made a turn into a room and then into another room and then down another hallway that was tiled and completely glassed in with large candle holders sitting on the floor filled with large, white unlit candles. I turned back to look at Tom and raised my eyebrows. He shrugged. We continued down the hallway, past a sitting area, and an area with a door leading outside where several pairs of waders were lined up in a row. The man stopped by a desk sitting next to a large staircase. It was very out of place, but seemed to be the check-in desk. It had a computer and the man consulted it when we offered our last name.

He was very pleasant. I thought he said his name was Phillip, Assistant Manager, although Tom thought he had another name. I referred to him the rest of the visit as Phillip and shall continue to do so here. He was very formal. He welcomed us in a quiet voice as if we were in a library and told us we had three rooms. He gave us information about the hotel such as times of breakfast and check out. He told us we could eat in the bar until 9:00 and then at that time we would need to eat in the dining room. Grandma told him we would eat in the dining room as we were not about to hike nor drive the 7 miles back down the mountain. He bowed, his head and back straight as he did so, told us we would find the menu in our rooms, and then he clicked his heels and had us follow him.

Instead of going up the staircase we went back through the candle hallway and walked and walked. Think of two buildings attached to a third building on either side. That is what this place was like. We walked all the way through to the last part of the hotel and up some stairs. This area was more modern than the area we had just been in. It was an addition in the 1990's he told us. We passed several rooms. All of the doors were open and we could see inside. He led us into one room with a double bed. Darcy said she and Madison would take that room. He led Grandma to the room next door. All of the rooms had names. He handed them both keys with large pieces of wood attached to them that were labeled with their room names. Then he looked at me and Tom and told us to follow him.

Off we went again. Clear across the hotel back to the desk and staircase. Up the staircase we went and along the hallway. This part of the hotel was much older. We learned later that the entire place had once been a cattle drover's inn in the 17th century. We walked down hallways, making odd turns, sometimes going uphill. It was the weirdest walk I've been on and I really got more anxious as we went. I didn't like being that far from the girls and I didn't understand why these places could not give us three rooms side by side. It was also creepy that all of the rooms we passed were open so we could see in them.

We passed by a doorway that led to the outside, turned left, went past a supply closet, up an incline and into a room named Cladich at the end of the house. Phillip threw out his arm in presentation, informed us that this was a superior room and to help ourselves to the complimentary sherry that was sitting on a tray at a table by the window. When we didn't jump up and down like I think he expected and instead stared at him with our what-the-hell-are-we-doing-clear-across-the-hotel-away-from-our-family faces he explained that there was some leakage and we had to be moved and he moved us into one of the superior rooms. We thanked him, he smiled, pointed out the menu on the bed, handed us our old fashion key with a board, and left.

Tom and I stared at one another. We looked around. It was a nice enough room. The bed looked big, the bathroom was modern and very nice, although I wasn't sure when we would use the sitting chair that was in there next to the toilet. The view from the window above the table and two chairs was nothing to write home about. We stared out over the rest of the hotel and I could see a little bit better the layout. We wondered aloud about the "leakage" and the fact that we had to "be moved" and moved clear across the estate.

Tom went off to find the others and to bring in our luggage. I dropped the stuff I had been carrying and then left the room to explore. I walked out the door that led to the outside and found myself up on a hill. To the right of me was Loch Awe. To the left of me, down the hill was the parking lot and our car. I went down and got Madison who was still sitting in the backseat. I gave her the scoop, unloaded my luggage, and took it back up the hill and into the doorway. Then I went back outside and turned to the right this time. Down a little pathway and into the forest next to the Loch was a bench and this view:

I went back inside to find Tom still not back. He had not discovered the secret entrance from the parking lot into the hallway and he had carried his bag in the way we had first traveled. He said that all of the rooms on his way back were all open for peeking.

Tom: "It is the oddest place I have ever seen."
Me: "Let's have some sherry!"

I did and don't recommend it. Ugh. Madison appeared in our doorway and refused a glass of sherry. She had it in her room too. She announced that we had no cell service and that the wifi didn't work in their room. She said she thought we were the only people in this hotel and that we might never make it out alive nor would we be able to call for help. As soon as those words were out of her mouth we heard a blood curling scream outside our window. We all jumped. Then we nervously started laughing.

Madison: "It was like we were in one of my Nancy Drew games. The place was over 300 years old with twists and turns. Your door opened on its own, remember that? While we were just sitting there? And then the scream happened. I was texting Gabby and I told her we were going to die. Who would hear us? We were not anywhere near civilization. And you two were clear across the entire hotel. We would never have heard you."

I wondered aloud if Agatha Christie might have stayed here before she wrote And Then There Were None as this certainly reminded me of that novel. Madison didn't know the story and wished later that I hadn't told her it. Tom, meanwhile, had perused the menu. It had a starter, a main course of duck, a vegetable, and a desert. It was 50 pounds per person. There were three different choices of wine by the bottle and those were in the 25 pound range. He decided he should find Phillip and tell him we would eat in the bar. He left.

Madison and I sat awhile. She was getting some wifi sitting in one of the chairs in my room. It had started to rain, the most rain we had seen in our travels. It came down in a steady pour and added to the ambiance. There are no screens for windows in either Ireland or Scotland and the windows in all of the hotels were always open. I closed one side of our windows, but left the other open for the cool air. Tom came back and said Grandma had already alerted Phillip to our changing meal venues.

Grandma: "Oh, yes. I saw that menu and it was certainly not anything I was going to eat!"

We all made our way through the mazes of hallways and down the stairs. We went several ways and got lost several times until we happened upon a small, cozy room with five tables and a bar tucked into the corner. Grandma and Darcy were seated at one of the tables and we joined them. Darcy and Madison had created all sorts of mystery plots that they shared to us in whispers.

Phillip appeared, standing at attention, with a young man and a young girl, both dressed in black, behind him. He asked if we cared for any drinks and we gave him our drink order. The three then walked the three steps it took to get to the bar, behind Grandma, and Phillip proceeded to talk to the other two in a loud whisper. He was obviously educating them on order taking and precision in keeping track on a pad of paper he had in his hand. He was all hunched over as if this were the biggest secret in the world which Madison and I, who had a clear view of him, thought quite entertaining.

Phillip then appeared again at our table with menus which he handed to us one by one with great flourish. The menu was a heavy, leather book that upon opening held one page printed that told us we would be dining on chicken with potatoes and a vegetable. Our starter would be mushroom soup. Phillip and his two minions came with our drinks which he allowed the minions to serve. He then shooed them back to the bar. He pulled out his pad of paper.

Phillip: "Have you decided on what you will be having?"

Darcy burst out laughing. Grandma raised her eyebrow at me like the man was a tad off. Tom looked at Phillip and then at me and then back at Phillip, trying desperately not to laugh. We all were.

Darcy: "I thought he was joking. I mean the menu clearly stated that we were having chicken. There were no other choices and his asking us if we knew what we wanted was just funny. I couldn't help it. But then I realized he wasn't joking and that he was serious. Which was even funnier, but I controlled that and made some excuse for my laughter like Madison had said something funny."

We told Phillip, one by one, that we would have the chicken. He wrote it all down and then turned and went back to the bar, hunkered over again with the minions, and began whispering. All of us leaned in to one another and laughed quietly. Madison told us this was just part of the staging before we were either poisoned and killed or drugged and led into slavery. She sniffed her drink.

Madison: "I just thought the whole thing hilarious. We had these huge, leather, book menus and we open them to find a piece of paper that gives us one option. And when we said chicken to Phillip he looked at us as if he didn't know what we were talking about because the menu said "chicken blah, blah, something" and he then asked if we meant that. What else could we have possibly meant? There was only that one thing on the menu. It was all so ridiculous."

Suddenly a man and a woman appeared and took the table behind Grandma, nearest to the bar. We all breathed a sigh of relief to see other guests. Grandma struck up a conversation. They were from Oregon and had found this place on the Internet. They wanted to know if we knew that it would be so secluded. We assured them we had no idea and we discussed the seven mile one lane road. They were here for a couple of days. They too ordered the chicken. Snort. Snort.

I wondered if Phillip were going to cook the meal as he seemed to be doing everything else. Tom said that he had read on a plague on a wall somewhere in his travelings of the hotel that the chef was actually a famous five star chef. We had to agree that the chicken was quite tasty. We all gobbled it right up along with the three mini potatoes and two strips of carrots we were allotted. We each had a piece of brown bread with butter.

Phillip appeared with a desert menu. We had a choice of a cheese tray with chutney, and chocolate strawberries. Grandma told him to bring a couple of each. Tom and I ordered cappuccinos. Grandma ordered an Americano coffee. Phillip bowed his head, wrote it on his pad, and took his spot at the bar with his minions.

Suddenly a group of people entered the bar. There were eight of them; two children probably around ten and eleven. They were loud and boisterous and brought the bar alive. They took two tables and ordered all sort of various cocktails and wine. The Oregon couple bid us good-night and disappeared. The other group got louder with the drinks. They worried they were bothering us and we assured them they were a fresh breath of air. They were from Atlanta and Chicago. They eventually were told by Phillip that they would need to move into the dining room as the bar meal was over. They had no issues with that and disappeared. We figured they had no idea their meal and drinks were going to cost them a fortune.

Tom: "Oh, yeah, they had no idea. They were going to get a small piece of duck and bottles of wine and it was going to cost them ten thousand pounds by the time it was over. The portion sizes made no sense and were just ridiculous."

The minions brought us our desert. It was very odd. We had three crackers and some dabs of cheese on a plate. We had a glass of small strawberries. We had a cup of chocolate mousse made with some kind of yogurt. There was no way we could have dipped the strawberries into the mousse. Grandma thought the strawberries were delicious and ordered more. Phillip was very confused by this. Probably because Grandma told him she didn't want the chocolate and just wanted the strawberries. We still didn't have our coffee and cappuccinos, and I wondered again if Phillip were in the kitchen handling all of the food. Tom wondered what was the deal with the portion control. Eventually we got everything, ate, and started to our rooms. The candles were now lit in the hallway and there were white lights in the windows and it all looked very pretty.

Tom: "All we needed was the organ music with the candelabra and the butler. It was just creepy."

At the junction we parted ways. Tom and I found our way to the staircase and there sat a woman, dressed in black, at the desk. She was the manager, Fiona, and the polar opposite of Phillip. She asked if we were planning on showering and when I said I was she said that they were having some plumbing issues and that she would happily move us to the new part of the hotel. She had called a plumber, threaten him, and he was on his way, but she couldn't be sure of a hot shower. I told her that my children were in the newer part of the hotel and that I would shower in their bathroom. She agreed that was a win, win and we thanked her and hiked upstairs.

Someone had been in our room. That was the first thing I noticed when I stepped in. My backpack was on the bed and it hadn't been there before. My Ipad, which I had hidden in the folds of the bedspread at the foot of the bed, was lying there exposed. Apparently the hotel had turn down service. The bedspread was folded and laid into the corner where my backpack had been. The decorative pillows were off the bed and the corners of the sheets had been turned back. The windows were closed and the drapes were pulled and a lamp was turned on. There were no chocolates. I was put off a bit at having had someone creeping around my room, but by now nothing was surprising me.

Madison: "Darcy was in the shower and there was a tiny knock on my door after we got back.  I opened it cautiously to find a teeny, tiny woman. She asked me if I needed anything and when I replied "No, I'm fine." She repeated it quietly under her breath, but where I could hear her. "No I'm fine." She had a cart of something and put her head down as if she were so sad that I was fine. Then she looked up, peered into our room, got excited at something, and asked me if she could close my curtains for me.  I said "No, I am fine again" which she repeated again under her breath and disappeared. Like I was going to have someone come into my room to close my curtains! I was perfectly capable of closing my own curtains."

I gathered my showering kit along with the complimentary bathrobe hanging on the back of our bathroom and hiked clear across the hotel to shower in the girls' room. Afterwards, I retraced my steps, this time in the bathrobe and in my slippers with wet hair. I figured no one would see me as the boisterous group was still hooting and hollering it up in the dining room, but as I got to the stairs an Asian gentleman was standing at the desk. He seemed quite shocked to see me in my bathrobe, but then again he seemed to be shell shocked as we all had been with the whole hotel. I smiled, bid him good-night, and hiked back up the stairs. I took a wrong turn somewhere along the way and almost ran right into a woman who was standing in an alcove outside a closed door. I apologized, told her I had taken a wrong turn in the maze, and went back out.

As I started past the still open door leading to the outside I could hear the shower in my room running. The door to our room was wide open and Tom was inside the bathroom showering. I locked up for the night, scolded Tom through the bathroom door, discovered that we did have hot water, climbed into bed, and prayed we would all make it through the night.