Tuesday my friend SueG and I decided it was time to start our yearly beaching it once a week. We got there a little after 9:00 a.m. and were one of about ten couples on the sand. Despite the past night's temperature in the low 60's, the temperature was in the 70's and climbing in the two hours and a half hours we spent there.
We sat down in our beach chairs, turned on the radio, got out some water from our cooler, and leaned back to soak up the rays, our back to the water since that was the way the sun was facing. Notice that I didn't mention we "put on sunscreen". My friend did get it out of her bag and put it on the top of my cooler, but alas, we did not use it. I think both of us thought, "It's only two hours." Naturally we both got burned to a crisp in various areas.
At one point I decided I should roll over on to my stomach to get an even "tan". I have a beach chair that reclines the back all the way to the ground. I have never used it that way on my stomach, but I decided to try it out, and after struggling mightily to even roll over in the thing, I declared it mighty uncomfortable. I had to move forward considerably to get my thighs above the metal and so that my head was able to drop down without neck strain. I smiled at the two women who were facing me as they opened up their chairs and belongings.
Me: "I don't think I'll last even ten minutes."
SueG: "I don't think you'll last five."
The main problem, beside it being uncomfortable, was that I was facing the water and the women, and SueG was behind me. Talking and listening was harder. My head hurt dangling so I kept it up which made me look as if I was just staring at these two women. I built sand objects instead so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I lasted a good twenty minutes just to prove myself and my friend wrong, and then I rolled back over; to find 987654 people had descended on the beach. We were surrounded.
Me: "WTH?"
SueG: "It's tourist season. They just keep coming."
Me: "Hmmmm....but no one is in the water. Why aren't they in the water?"
SueG: "It's cold."
Me: "Please. How cold is the water? Do I have to always be the first person to go into the gulf every year?"
SueG: "It was 63 a few days ago. I don't know what it is today, but it can't be any warmer. Is anyone in the water?'
Me: "Not one person."
SueG: "You go for it."
Me: "I'm going to have to."
SueG: "I'll be waiting right here for you."
So I walked down to the water and looked up and down the beach. Not one person was in the water. There was only one little kid standing by the water, her ankles getting wet. I walked in like a pro to my waist. I walked around squirting water up on to my arms and chest, and then finally I took the plunge. It was refreshing. I walked back out again and sprinkled water on SueG.
SueG: "How was it?"
Me: "Delightful. Too bad everyone was facing away from the water as I looked just like Bo Derek coming out."
SueG: "Well, minus the braids."
I dried off a bit with my towel and a women sitting in front of us, facing us to the side, started talking to us. We chatted a bit, and then I sat down. When I did she got up and started toward the water.
Her: "How is the water?"
Me: "Great. Refreshing."
SueG: "Damn cold."
Her: "Well, I think I'll try it out."
SueG: "I'll be here waiting for you."
We chatted a bit, and then I turned to see where the woman was. She was in the water up to her lower thighs, and then she turned back and started walking back toward us.
Me: "She didn't get in. Pussy."
SueG: "I dare you to tell her that when she gets up here."
Me: "These tourists are such wimps."
Her: "Okay, it was cold."
SueG: "You don't look wet to me."
Her: "I couldn't do it. It's cold as shit in there."
Me: "You're a pussy."
Her: "Hey, that's what my sister always calls me. Guess it must be true!"
SueG: "Please! The only reason she went into the water was she had to pee."
Me: "Yep, but I made it look good when I did. No one knew until you opened up your mouth and informed the entire beach."
SueG: "Whatever, Bo Derek."
No comments:
Post a Comment