Archives 2002 - Bugman

A Visit from the Bug Man
Thursday, September 12, 2002

We have a cockroach problem in our kitchen. I hate cockroaches. Well, does anyone really love them? I know I live in Florida, cockroach capitol of the world, but that doesn't mean I have to like them in my house. I don't want them in my house. They can roam the world outside of my home, but like the lizards and the gigantic grasshoppers famous in my area of Florida, I prefer them outside as opposed to roaming through my house.

Recently, one night I went into my kitchen to get a glass of water. I sleep with water every night. I always have, and so I went to the refrigerator to get my nice cold water, and there on the counter beside my frig was a cockroach. Just hanging out, thank you very much. It wasn't a large one, and trust me, we have LARGE cockroaches in this state, but it was still a roach. Naturally, my spray was in the garage since we are a kid proof home, and the thought of opening the door leading into the dark garage was too much for me to handle. For all I knew, his friends were in that garage waiting for me! So I did something I never do. I went to bed and allowed the roach to live. Of course, for days I entered my kitchen armed with shoes and spray.

A few days later, I opened the drawer to get out a kitchen towel and my daughter informed me that a roach lived in there. She opened the drawer again to show me, and sure enough, not only did the largest granddaddy of roaches live there, but his entire family, mother, child and baby. Four roaches in my kitchen drawer! I spent twenty minutes attempting to exterminate them before taking the kids to school, and then I told my husband that if he did not spray for bugs like RIGHT NOW, TODAY, I was calling in an expert.

Tom: "Yeah, yeah."

Knowing him, I went to the store and purchased roach traps. I cleaned out all my kitchen cabinets an sucked up way too many roach droppings in my vacuum. I put the traps all over the kitchen, inside and outside of cabinets and drawers. I put them in my trashcans. I felt somewhat better at having taken care of that. I started letting down my guard.

That night I went into the kitchen for the water. Bam! Cockroach. Again! In my kitchen. I screamed. I made my husband get out of bed and kill this one. He pretends it is no big deal, but the man is as afraid of these animals as I am. Don't let him fool you. It took us a few comical hours minutes to rid the kitchen of the intruder.

A day later, I was typing away in the computer room when out of the corner of my eye I saw movement on my wall. You guessed it, another mack daddy of a roach the size of my hand. Darcy and I worked very hard to kill this sucker, and I might have gone a bit overboard, taking out my cockroach infested anger by hitting the sucker again, and again, and again with my husband's shoe. I kept yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" as I whacked him. This has, of course, been imitated over and over again, and overplayed I might add, in Darcy's play.

I called the bug man, and then I told my husband I had done so. He immediately went out into the garage and got out his spray container. He walked the exterior of my house, and sprayed like a fiend. Anything to save money, is his motto. That night in the kitchen....yep, another roach. I was glad I hadn't canceled the bug man's appointment.

Carl, the Bug Man, was a hulking man who looked like he would squash a cockroach with his bare hands. I loved the guy. He listened to my story, and then wandered around my house pulling off fronts of objects that I didn't even know come off, showing me coackroach turds. I now know where these little buggers like to live.

Carl sprayed my entire house inside and out. He sprayed behind the refrigerator, the stove, and the sink. He took out every drawer in my kitchen and sprayed with three different sprays. He lifted, pulled, and removed cabinetry spraying in, over, and around it. He sprayed everywhere in my house, but the attic, and he assured me that he would come back and do the attic if I spied a bug. He promised me!

Carl: "I'll do the exterminating, but you're responsible for the funerals."

Carl has a sense of humor. It has been three days since he was here. I have not spied a bug. I have seen some ants, as we have an issue with those in our bathroom, but I have not seen any cockroaches. Wait. Have I seen my family?

Update: Carl came for several years every other day. If I had an issue before that, he was there. He took care of our ants. He took care of the roaches. He took care of all pests. He was the greatest. He and I became fast friends, and I passed him on to my family and friends who loved him too. Eventually, Carl left to work at Disney World as a boat captain. Still, when I've there, I look for him in the It's a Bug's Life ride.

Also, read here if you want to read about Carl's boss, and the reason how I ended up with Carl in the f first place.