Boo

I'm one of those mothers who loved having a house full of kids. I was the mom who took the kids home after preschool for lunch and playtime. I took the kids when they wanted to swim. I hosted the slumber parties, the school projects, and the baking of cookies, pizza, pies, and cupcakes. I loved hearing the laughter, the conversation, and occasionally the arguments.

This past Saturday we had a house full of college kids for Darcy's birthday. They had all gone to the beach and returned to my house to eat and talk, and I was in heaven sitting amongst them catching up with their lives and hearing their college stories. Eventually, we got around to how much they had changed since I had first met them freshman year of high school. I pointed out that one of the boys had been so nervous around me, maybe even frightened of me, and when he agreed that had been true, one of the girls piped up with yep, she too had been scared of me.

I was horrified. Scared? What? I'm the least scary of all adults. I'm the fun one! I bet I get "You're so funny!" from strangers once a day. How could these kids have been scared of sweet, little ole, funny me? I gnawed on that long after they had left.

But then I remembered that my friends had all said that once about my dad. My dad was a larger than life man. It wasn't that he was a lumberjack, but he had a large chest, an even bigger voice and together those made him an opposing figure. That scared kids and adults alike.

Which always shocked me when I heard that. Because my dad was a teddy bear. With a large voice and a chest and two strong arms made for hugging. And he had nicknames for my friends, and he loved teasing them or fixing things for them, and he loved them like they were his own children, asking about them if he hadn't seen them after several days.

Even today, my friends here in Florida talk about my dad. "He was the sweetest," someone recently said to me. "I loved your dad," said someone else.

Darcy's friend: "Oh, yes, Miss Cara. We love you now. Just at first, we were scared. Now. Now we are not frightened."

So, I decided not to be hurt by the revelation that I once scared Darcy's friends. Because they love me now. They know I'm a big teddy bear just like my father. That I'm funny and chill and that my door is always open to them.

At least, I hope they do. You don't think she said that because she was still scared, do you?