Disneyland - Summer Vacation 2016

We woke up to the hottest day in California. Where we had just eight hours before sat sipping cocktails on the back porch in front of a fire was now aflame with temperatures in the one hundreds. It was Florida all over again only with a dry, dry, desert heat that burned your skin to a crisp just walking outdoors.

Darcy: "Let's go to Disneyland!"
Tom: "I just looked it up and the wait for rides is less than 25 minutes. I don't think there are a lot of people there."
Clint: "Because intelligent people know not to venture out into 104 degree temperatures."

I was one of the intelligent people. I opted out of Disneyland so Tom and the girls set off before noon for Anaheim and scorching temperatures. I stayed behind, indoors, until around four when I swam in the pool. It was perfect. I swam laps, did some exercises, and then sat on the stairs and read. My body dried in twenty five seconds (I counted) and so I slipped in and out of the pool as needed.

The men and I had cocktails on the porch that evening and later dinner. The troops arrived home at eleven o'clock to find us watching trash television and laughing. They were hot, sweaty, smelly, but smiling. Here is there account of their day:

Maddy: "The drive to Anaheim was uneventful, but when we got to Disneyland it was confusing. It isn't big like Disney World with tons of booths under a big Disney arch. There were like four toll booths and no arch."

Darcy: "It wasn't confusing, Maddy."

Tom: "Let me explain. We drove up and the lady told me to go to the left so I did. But then a man started waving at me so I stopped and rolled down my window, and he told me the lady was training and had sent me in the wrong direction. He told me to just follow the signs, that it was easy and self explanatory."

Darcy: "Actually he told you to park over there. But Dad just drove past that spot. I suggested we park in the shade, and he said that was a good idea, but then again he drove right past. There was garage parking, but we parked in the only area with sun."

Maddy: "The bottom line was it was odd not to know where we were going or what we were doing like we do in Disney World. We were tourists doing touristy things. They have only one tram station from the parking area which we discovered after walking and walking. There are shuttle buses, but we found that out later. The park is like Epcot and Animal Kingdom where you buy your tickets and walk into the park. No boats or monorail like at Magic Kingdom. Dad told the lady at the ticket booth that it was our first time here and so she pulled out first time visit buttons which was exciting."

Darcy: "I got more buttons. I went to City Hall and asked for a Birthday button, and the guy told me where to go, and so I did and got that button. Then I told the guy it was also my parents' anniversary and we were celebrating that with my birthday, and so I got a Happily Ever After button."

Maddy: "Darcy scammed them for buttons. We put them on like tourists. It was very exciting. We had security tents to check our bags and then we had to go through metal detectors. I think that was new since the recent events in Orlando. It looked very thrown together. We had to walk quite a ways from there to downtown Disney. Both parks though are right there, one on the right and one on the left. We went to Disneyland. You walk in and the train station is right there. It was closed."

Tom: "The big difference is the tram takes you right to the park. I mean you get out and you are right there."

Darcy: "Yeah, Dad. We already established that."

Tom: "I thought the park was very similar, but smaller. Not as much walking. We walked the whole park. Same concept, but different. Like the castle wasn't as vertical or large, but horizontal, and you could walk through the castle. Not just through it like at Disney World, but actually inside of it like a ride. It's also Aurora's Castle and not Cinderella's."

Darcy: "Prince Charming is out doing Aurora in the castle. That's the .75 cents to the dollar."

Maddy: "What does that mean?"

Tom: "Cinderella's castle is more vertical. Aurora's castle is horizontal. It isn't as big."

Darcy: "Aurora had her own castle before Prince Phillip kissed her, but Prince Charming had his castle before Cinderella. Cinderella married rich. Men make more money, .75 to the dollar. Charming is out doing Aurora. Typical. That's what I mean."

Tom: "The main differences between the two parks, Disney World and Disneyland was the heat and the crowds. It was 104 degrees at Disneyland and a light crowd."

Maddy: "And everything is out in the open. No air conditioned buildings. Even the lines are outside covered only by trees, but no building structures overhead. Everything also was Star Wars. It was too much."

Darcy: "They (Disneyland) were not as technically savvy like Disney World. They still had the fast pass machines instead of apps. They didn't have wristbands."

Maddy: "Some of the rides didn't have wait time signs."

Darcy: "That's not true. I found them, but they were very small and it took a long time to find them."

Tom: "Disneyland couldn't handle the crowds that Disney World does. There is no way. They just aren't equipped."

Maddy: "On individual rides the Haunted Mansion was just very creepy where Disney World redid theirs to not be so creepy. It was like they said, "This might not be a good idea to scare kids", and so they toned it down."

Darcy: "Yeah, they took away the ghost riding in the car with you. This ride was more like what I remember the ride in Disney World use to be."

Tom: "My favorite ride was Indiana Jones Adventure Ride and the Hyper Space Mountain."

Darcy: "I loved Hyper Space Mountain. That was fun."

Maddy: "It was a roller coaster, but with no drops, just speed. I really liked the Thunder Mountain Railroad. It was fast with quick turns and cool scenery, and it went on for a long time."

Darcy: "That's true. Just when you thought it was ending, it started around another corner and continued. That was cool."

Darcy: "I liked It's A Small World. It was huge! And I liked that they had Disney characters in there."

Maddy: "It was cool. I liked the air conditioning and the water. I kept dipping my hand in the water and splashing my face and feet even though the automated voice kept telling me multiple times not to that. But my feet were bright red from the heat, and I was worried about them, and the water felt SO good and was SO cold. The ride itself was normal, but longer. I think Disney World shortened it. I think that was another thing they discussed when they revamped it. "Let's not drive the parents crazy. Let's shorten it so they don't have that song blaring in their heads." That's the way I picture the board meeting going."

Tom: "It was longer, cool. We walked right in. Pretty much what everyone else said."

Darcy: "The parade was "Paint the Night" and it was all in lights. I thought it was better than Disney World's parade."

Maddy: "But fewer floats and shorter. The wait for the parade was crazier. People lined up really early for the parade as the area to sit or stand to watch it was so much smaller."

Tom: "I liked it. It was well done with big floats and lots of lights."

Maddy: "Not as many shops there. Pins weren't a big deal there."

Darcy: "Pins aren't a big deal at Disney World any more either. I've been to Disney World this year, and it wasn't as big of a deal as it used to be."

Darcy: "Disney World is bigger. I like Epcot."

Tom: "I liked Disneyland better because the experience was newer, a novelty."

Maddy: "I think Disneyland has more for everyone, but I like Disney World because it is more spread out with more parks. And I like that Floridians can just go to Disney World and not have to stay all day if it's hot or whatever. We can come and go if we want. Today we were the tourists here feeling we had to get our money's worth and doing touristy stuff. I missed our show rides like It's A Bugs World and Monster Inc. where you can chill and laugh in the air conditioning. But it was a fun day."

Venice Beach - Summer Vacation 2016

The time difference doesn't seem to have affected us much other than discovering people are in bed when we are sitting down to eat. Time seems to be abstract here. I never know what time it is and was surprised last night to discover we were sitting down to dinner at 9:40 pm. Everyone chalks it up to vacation when I make a comment. Perhaps this is true.

Darcy is in charge of this leg; Los Angeles. She chose to visit the beach on Day 2 and came downstairs in her bathing suit and one of her new cute dresses she purchased for the trip. She is living a dream. Clint stayed behind to install lighting outside around their back porch, but Rick played chaperone and set off at dangerous speeds, weaving in and out of lanes, down the Los Angeles freeway toward Venice Beach.

I had been there on my last trip to California eighteen years ago, and remembered it quite well. But then as I walked along the strip, I realized that it has been featured in so many television shows and movies that maybe my memory wasn't really my own. The day was hot one, but it wasn't humid, and I thought it perfectly beautiful. We had to drive around quite a bit to find a place to park and ended up parking in front of three houses that were for sale. Because Clint is now in the real estate business, we decided we would check it out for him and joined the open house. The house, or condo as we would label it in Florida, was narrow with three stories, an elevator, three bedrooms, and four bathrooms. It was all done in a sleek, modern decor, and I liked it. We chatted up the realtor, took the paperwork as if we were truly interested in the 2.6 million dollar dwelling, and hiked to the beach. It was a mile. My Apple Watch was very proud of me.

About halfway into the hike, we decided that we could really relate to these citizens. Darcy especially was happy to see "some sanity".

We walked the bike path, which separates the beach and boardwalk, much to the annoyance of the bikers. We veered off at an area that had flags from all of the countries stuck in the sand, flapping in the breeze coming off of the Pacific Ocean. It was colorful and cheerful, and while we hadn't an idea at that time what it was all about, it carried us on the walk toward the water. In Florida, parking areas are almost butt up to the beach. In Venice Beach not so. The expanse of brown, grainy sand that we had to walk across made me think I was in the desert searching desperately for water. There is nothing worse than walking in sand, but the first view of the water made it all worthwhile.

We sat while Darcy swam. I found the water to be prettier than our Gulf of Mexico. It was blues and greens versus browns and grays, waves versus no waves unless a hurricane like storm is or has been blowing through, and breezes versus hot, humid stagnancy. I enjoyed sitting, people watching, and taking photos. The temperature of the ocean was 64 degrees, but Darcy swam. She said the current was stronger than home and pulled differently, but she was out there living her dream.

From there we walked the boardwalk. For me, it was a combination of tacky, Florida shopping strips and tacky, touristy, New Orleans'. There were the usual street performers, fire eaters, and musicians. We watched a basketball game on a beach side court, and observed tourists getting henna tattoos and their portraits turned into caricatures. The strip was dirty with tons of trash littering the area and there was a tattoo parlor on every corner and one in between. It was colorful with all of the different types of people dressed in all sorts of different attire. We could have had our picture taken with a yellow snake wrapped around our necks or with a miniature horse who strolled along beside us as if this were an average occurrence.

The shops had the same types of tourist trap objects that everyone has purchased at least once in their lives. There were shirts, and key chains, and shot glasses, and coffee cups. There were sweatshirts, and dresses, and taffy, and globes with falling sand. We paid for frozen lemonades and ice cream. We talked to the gentleman at the flag area on our way back. He was from Dublin and working hard at trying to spread peace through beach drum circles throughout the world. We took his card. Peace is good.

We drove the coastline on our return back to Rolling Hills through Manhattan Beach with its quaint town and steep roads leading down, down, down to the ocean and Redondo Beach with its exquisite views of the coast and its homes on the sides of the hills. By the time we returned to the house, the temperature had dropped its usual ten degrees and the winds had picked up, and we retreated to the back deck overlooking the towns with our nightly drinks and appetizers to discuss the next day's adventures.

Travel Day Summer Vacation 2016

Our plane left at 6:20 am. What is with these early morning flights I seem to always be on? Of course, that time is 3:30 am in California so it was damn early no matter how you looked at it. We left at 4:00 for the airport which meant we got up at 3:30, actually 12:30 in California, so we figured we were already getting our bodies adjusted. The girls contemplated not going to bed, but by 1:30 they succumbed.

We were through security and at the gate by 5:11 which gave us plenty of time to grab a nap coffee and breakfast. We flew Southwest, my new favorite airline, which meant free bags, but no assigned seating. Darcy and I ended up with a stranger who took the aisle seat. I was in the middle, and by the end of the four hour flight to Phoenix I was a bear. No one of my hefty stature should ever be given a middle seat. First, my new carry on that I got for Christmas that fits under the seat isn't easy to get to once it is under there. I moved around quite a bit to get important stuff I needed; a stylus, my book, my water, my headphones, my sweater. The guy in the seat on the aisle was trying to sleep, and half of his left leg was on my side which meant that I touched it quite a bit. He eventually moved it over. About an hour into the flight, I had to go to the bathroom due to my venti iced coffee and two bottles of water. I had to wake up the aisle man. I returned and started reading my book, but fell into a slumber. About that time I heard aisle man ask to change seats with his wife, and so when I woke up twenty minutes later I had a new seatmate. His wife was a twig, and was a much better fit with me. She, however, was asleep too, and I had to go to the bathroom again. I had to wake her.

We landed and walked two yards to our new gate. We had enough time to hit the bathrooms (Darcy: "What is wrong with you? You're as bad a Maddy with all of your trips to the bathroom) and then we were boarding again. This time I snagged the aisle and put my carry on overhead after getting out my belongings. Madison sat in the middle seat and promptly spilled her complementary drink. That required another trip to the bathroom for paper towels to clean it all up. Thankfully, that flight only lasted an hour, and we were in California. It was hot.

Our hosts picked us up in two different vehicles. I jumped into the car with my husband's brother and most of the luggage went into the backseat. We drove off and assured those left behind that the second car was coming. It did and that car stopped and got lunch so that Darcy could cross off one of the things on her list of things to do in California; In n' Out Burger.

Clint: "Next time you'll want to get in the car with the favorite uncle."

The two have lived in their house high in the hills now for fifteen years. The area was in its high heat index by the time we got there, or so it felt that way to us. Their three dogs, Kol, Pumpkin, and Brody were very happy to have us there and welcomed us with hours of sitting in our laps, next to us, over us, and near us to get petted.

Tom and the girls immediately passed out for naps. We spent the day relaxing, running a few errands, and catching up. In the evening we opened the house. The heat here is not humid and drops significantly in the evening hours. We had cocktails outdoors overlooking the twinkling of the city lights as hummingbirds flew over us on their way to their sugar water on the porch. A small fire was lit, and we had dinner and planned our next day's outing.

Darcy's newly found travel journal from 2008

I have written many, many, many, many, many times about our travel journal, a notebook my friend Kelly and I insisted everyone should record in of our travels. Every time we got into the car or on the plane the book came with us. Until the day I couldn't find the book. When that happened, through a couple of vacations, other books were used. Those books seem to be stuck into drawers willy nilly, especially now that the official travel journal has been located. When I find these "other" pseudo travel books I immediately try to get them on the blog to have for future prosperity.

Recently, like last week, when I frantically needed a piece of paper I found one such travel notebook. There was no name of the child it belonged to, but seeing the nice, cursive handwriting was a dead giveaway. Well, that and the fact that Madison always fought us on writing in the travel journal. This notebook obviously belonged to Darcy and was in regards to a week long trip we took to Daytona Beach, FL in 2008 when she was ten years old. Here it is, as is, in Darcy's words because, well, all of the misspellings are just too adorable to correct. Although, there are some places where I see that I did make corrections and then eventually just gave up.

Monday - Datona Beach

today we got up. My mom took a hike to find breakfast; wile I got ready and waited for my mom to come back so we can go to the beach. When we got to the beach my mom took me out in the water. I did not like the high waves. After awile we stayed there for awile we went to the lazy river. When we went around a couple of times we went to the real pool. My sister and I went down the slide together. After that we went back to the hotel.

Tuesday - Daytona Beach

Today we went to the beach and I tryed the boggy board. it was scary at first but after I loved it. After awile I got a little sand toy out and played whith it. Then my mom took my sister and I to the Lazy River. We went around until we found Austin and Gabby. After we swam we came back and took a shower then went to kariocke. I sang three songs.

Wednesday - Daytona Beach

Today I went to the beach. The waves were very ruff so we didn't stay long. After we went to the lazy river and then went to the big pool. My sister found pooh in the pool. She and Gabby told the lifeguard. He said to check it agian (lol). Then we went to the lazy river again. When we were finished we went to play Family Feud. We were the Mason family. Guess what? We won! After that we went back up and ate dinner. Gabby and her mom took a long walk on the beach. When they got back they said someone was getting married on the beach so we went out on the balcony and watched it (they kissed). After that we went down stairs to the pool and played H2O.

There was a Thursday, but it was blank. The journal ended there. Apparently, Darcy's vacation consisted of the beach, the lazy river, and the pool with some games thrown in. Nothing written about our day in St. Augustine. Nothing about Austin's refusal to let his toes touch the sand. Nothing about Grandma Connie walking into the ocean with her cane and freaking out all of the people on the beach. Nothing about Aunt Susan buying a turtle that she was forbidden to take back home on the plane. We named him Toby.

Good thing someone else has the memories of that trip.

California or bust

Since we had such an extraordinary vacation last year we decided to tackle another one. Or rather Darcy did. It has been "her life's dream" to travel to California. When I asked her what she wanted to see in California she told me "Disneyland", and I promptly put a large X in the vacation category. Seriously? Disneyland? We live less than two hours from freaking Mickey Mouse Kingdom. The Empire of all things mouse. The largest Disney of them all and she wants to see Disneyland? It wasn't a trip that counted high on my list. So Darcy does what she always does when I say 'No". She turned to her father.

I understand. I did the same thing and in the very manner that she herself turns. I would wait until we were alone, perhaps watching television together or riding in the car, and then I would casually mention what I wanted and a discussion would happen, and then somewhere after he agreed it was a good idea I would mention that my mother didn't agree with us. He would pooh pooh that and tell me he would handle it, and he did.

But Darcy's father isn't like my father. He isn't someone that always says "yes". He isn't someone who sees your side right away and agrees. He is a thinker. He has to take something, roll it around, chew on it quite a bit, and savor it before he makes a decision. That can take anywhere from 3 days to a week. Sometimes longer, and then the answer isn't always the one you wanted; the "yes". So Darcy casually discussed the idea with her father, and he immediately said "yes" which thrilled her to no end. But here is the thing. If, on those rare occasions, Tom says, "yes", good luck getting him to make it happen. It just doesn't. Not right away. Because he didn't properly go through his routine. So he told Darcy they would go at spring break, and spring break came and went without a trip to California. This is usually the point where I give up, but unlike me, Darcy persists and she does it with guilt. Eventually, with some help from me, he relented.

It took his work longer than a month to sign off on the vacation which left us somewhat in limbo, but when the word of acceptance was delivered the trip was a go and plane reservations made. We are going on a vacation to California. We will be staying with Tom's brother and husband in their beautiful home in the hills outside of Los Angeles where they will entertain us extravagantly and shower us with kindness, love, and daily homemade breakfasts in bed. I just know it.

In preparation for the time spent away from a computer, I am planning ahead with various entries I have found while cleaning out bins, The Condo, closets, drawers, and my ears. I will try to post entries while on vacation, but just in case that doesn't happen until I get back I want to leave my readers with something. Rest assured I have your back. Even if I'm forced to spend a day in Disneyland.

Change starts with all of us

This has been a hard week in our area; a hard week for the world. As a kid, tragedies happened, and despite having a mother who believed in discussing everything with her children, I put those in a compartment that I locked with a key and forgot. It was too far away, too alien for me to comprehend. I was a child. I worried more about having time to play. When the disaster of Three Mile Island, the nuclear accident in Pennsylvania that released radioactive gases into the surrounding area, happened it was discussed at length in our house. The thing that I remember? The possibility that our friends in Pennsylvania would have to come and stay with us. That was exciting, and a disappointment when they didn't. The rest of it I didn't spend any time on.

As I got older, I worried more about the Russians causing a war. I thought about what I would do if I were somewhere during an attack. I decided lying down and playing dead was my best hope of escape. I worried about bogey men that would break into our house. I spent quite a bit of time working out scenarios in my head of what I would do if that happened and where I would go to hide. But all of that was intermittent. I didn't think about it daily.

Today our children worry. Today our children have to be vigilant, to be on the lookout for people carrying automatic weapons coming into a restaurant, a school, the movies, a sporting event. Today it is just a reality we all live with. We have to discuss what is happening around the world with our children. What is happening right here in our own country, in our own area. 911 made us. We can't shield our children from the horrors because they are happening right outside our doors. Yesterday my eldest was in the bathroom at the mall. Unbeknownst to her, a small child outside the bathroom popped several balloons. My daughter thought they were gun shots. That is our kid's reality.

The shooting of The Voice singer was terrible, but it was just another day in life. I read every morning in the paper about someone getting shot and killed. I've taken to not wanting to read the paper, to try to go back to my childhood when I hid those types of things in the dark recesses of my brain. Her death was terrible and so unnecessary. The shooter was from down the road in the next city from ours. We didn't have time to process any of that before the shooting in the Orlando night club Pulse happened. I was asleep. I read about it on the Internet the next morning while sitting down to plan my vacation.

Fifty people killed. Fifty people injured. A gunman who hated gays. A possible terrorist who walked unseen into a business with automatic weapons and a hand gun. People did what I always envisioned I would do; play dead. He shot them anyway to make sure. He didn't hesitate. He just shot, and shot, and shot. He walked from one end of the club to the other coldly shooting. He didn't care who died. He wanted them all dead. His hatred was that intense. Kill. Kill. Kill. 

I've vowed to stay off of Facebook for the summer. I can't take the hatred that is spewed there from people I know, once knew, family. There are many that have the same hatred, who write quotes from the bible as if to say this is why, the hatred is okay. My daughters are reading this. My youngest knew someone who was at the club. Her wife was shot twice in the back and is in critical condition. There is nothing that makes that right. Nothing. There just isn't. To believe otherwise makes me physically sick.

We are all human beings, whether we love a woman or a man. When did love become wrong? Poems, songs, art, and even the Bible can be interpreted in different ways. Nothing interpreted justifies what happened in Orlando this week. My youngest daughter wanted to know why all of the people she knew on Facebook weren't talking about it like they did the tragedy in Sandy Hook and Colorado. Where were the prayers? The prayer hand emojis? This country was built by those who were different, who wanted to be able to express those differences, who wanted to live out their lives being accepted for their differences. I think America has forgotten that. Today it is all me, me, me. Listen to my beliefs, believe what I believe. We are going backwards instead of forwards.

This life and the horror in it now belong to our children. There is no escaping it, no ignoring it, no hiding it. How we as adults teach our children, to be kind, to be respectful, to accept those who are different from us, that is how the future changes. That is how violence is stopped. I chose to raise both my children to have open hearts and open minds. Won't you please do the same? Read the names of those who lost their lives in that Orlando night club. Read their names, their stories, and then teach your children that differences are okay. I'm not asking you to understand, or change your beliefs, but to accept the differences in others. Open your heart and your mind, and then open your children's. Please. It starts with us. That tragedy is all of ours no matter anyone's beliefs. It can happen to any of us, in any place, in any time. Read the names, and then start the change. For all of our sake,

Gently easing in the husband

Me: "Remember when the kids wanted us to watch various class pets from school?"
Tom: "No, not really, but okay, so?"
Me: "So apparently Darcy's chemistry teacher needs someone to watch her class pet and some people volunteered Darcy."
Tom: "No."
Me: "No, what?"
Tom: "No we are not watching any pet."
Me: "I already said yes."
Tom: "Take it back. I'm not watching it."
Me: "No, I'll watch it. I'm actually excited about it. His name is Karl."
Tom: "No."
Me: "Stop saying that. It's a done deal. Karl's a Keurig."
Tom: "I don't care what he is we aren't watching it."
Me: "I know "we" aren't. I am. And maybe Madison. She has a Keurig at school so she has the training to care for Karl."
Tom: "Are you talking about a coffee maker?"
Me: "Yes. Apparently Ms. P. felt the need to have someone take home her Keurig for the summer. It's like taking home the class pet. How funny is that?"
Tom: "We have a coffee pot."
Me: "I know we do, that's not the point. We have a dog too, but that doesn't mean the school doesn't ask people to take home their hamsters, guinea pigs, and chinchillas for the summer."
Tom: "Whatever. I'm not watching it."
Me: "His name is Karl."

In our kitchen we have a counter top and cabinets that run across one wall, divided in the middle by the stove. To the right of the stove is where we have our kitchen stuff like the toaster oven, the blender, and the coffee pot. It is where I have my cutting boards and do all of my chopping and preparing of the meals. To the left of the stove is the office area where we have the phone, the charging station, a container for important papers like menus for restaurants, and pens and pencils. That area is only used for kitchen like behavior when we run out of room on the other side. This is where we put Karl.

Darcy and Madison felt some animosity coming from our own coffee pot, Mr. Coffee, at the arrival of Karl. We decided separating them was for the best while they got to know each other. While Karl's placement somewhat hampers our charging station, I felt we could put up with it for a summer. Mainly, because I rarely use that charging area anymore since I got a new one in another area. Mostly, that station is used by my husband, and so I braced myself for his irritation the day Karl arrived.

Me: "So did you see Karl?"
Tom: "Who?"
Me: "Karl. The class pet."
Tom: "No."
Me: "What? You didn't see Karl? You walked into the kitchen and did not notice anything new? Did you plug in your phone?"
Tom: "Yes, what does that have to do with anything?"
Me: "Because Karl is right there. How could you not see Karl?"
Tom: "Who is Karl again?"

I went out and bought Karl some food. He didn't come with anything but a couple of reusable filters for using our own coffee. Madison said her Keurig liked Donut House's double chocolate flavor. She is the expert, and boy, was she right. Karl LOVES this stuff. I just hope we can afford the cost of it. Karl is quite the expensive class pet.

Tom: "I don't like Keurigs. The coffee is never good."
Me: "Shhh..don't say that out loud in here. Karl's feelings will get hurt."
Tom: "You three need to get out of the house more."
Me: "We plan to do that. And we're taking Karl with us. He needs some adventure this summer."
Tom: "I give up."

My DNA

I recently took a DNA test. It wasn't because of anything earth shattering like an unknown child demanding proof of paternity or needing the knowledge in order to save someone's life. It was more in helping provide answers to another relative, and since the test was paid for and didn't involve needles I took it. Having got back the results, I've decided  that I'm getting everyone on my Christmas list a kit to do the same. Who knew science could be so exciting?

The kit came directly to me in the mail and included a vial, a specimen bag, and easy to follow directions. I had to first go online to the company's page and register the barcode attached to my vial. Then I had to spit into the vial, seal it, shake it up with whatever secret liquid was in it, enclose it into the bag, and mail it off. Results normally take 8 to 12 weeks, but mine were back within a week of receiving my spit at the lab. It must have been a slow time of the year.

I started first with the ancestry report. I learned that I am 99.9% of European ancestry, and when I delved further into that category I discovered that the majority of my percent, 77.7%, is from British/Irish descent. I knew my speaking in a British accent was normal!

The other reports posted were carrier status reports, wellness reports, and traits reports. In the carrier report it gives information of variants of 36 different disorders. While the the recipient might not be affected it can tell him/her about potential health risks that can be passed down to his/her children. Luckily, for me and for my children I had zero variants in all 36 disorders. That was a relief, especially after reading through the disorders,

In the wellness report I learned I was more likely to consume caffeine, 37% more mg of caffeine more per day than average. Reading further I discovered that the evil source of most caffeine is coffee, and that just one cup a day can serve a 100 mg of caffeine in a sitting. I never even use to drink coffee. I got my caffeine from a soda. Coffee didn't enter my life until after Darcy was born and Kelly introduced me to flavored creamer. I like a little coffee with my creamer. Apparently my DNA had a part in my learning to drink it.

I also found out that I'm not predisposed to sprint, am more likely to move during sleep, am lactose tolerant, and most likely will not flush red in the face while drinking alcohol. All of this was said, of course, using words like alpha actinin 3 protein and PLM's. It's written easily enough though for simpletons like myself, and no, that wasn't something in the report. I will admit to being shocked by the non sprinter gene, however.

In the trait report I learned about my facial features, hair, skin, physical characteristics, physical responses and taste and smell. Freckles are common in my family, as is the ability to detect asparagus odor. That one was not a surprise. I've been telling people that's why I don't eat the stringy, green vegetable for years.

The best thing about the test was being compared to all of the other people who have spit into the test tube and registered on the site. A report is generated and names pop up telling the percent of matching DNA and the likelihood of  the relation to one another. If each party agrees, they can reach out to and communicate. I've already had one request from someone that I've figured out comes from my father's side of the family. I only wish now that I had my parents' samples to give this company.

Part of registering is a complimentary account with My Heritage, and I spent all of Saturday working on my family tree. I had done some of this on another site previously, but in going through old bins I found a complete file of my dad's full of genealogy reports he had worked on in the 90's and so I expounded. It was a lot of work, but I've put together family lines that I just took for granted, but never truly knew the true origin. Now I know. I also think it will help when I go through more old pictures, and it gives me a place to post them.

If your parents are still alive, look into giving this as a gift. Right now they are offering a percent off for Father's Day. Oh, and if you are interested, let me know. If I refer someone, I get a $20 Amazon gift card. Don't judge me for soliciting. It's in my DNA.

Summer care for the class pet

Ah, the end of school. The return of my children with books they will never open again and papers that lay scattered in various rooms until I gather them up and toss file them. Backpacks slung in the wrong places. Lunchboxes with moldy food under the bed or in corners. It's the sign of summer at our house.

Every summer I look forward to just relaxing. No early morning rising before the sun comes up. No rushing around making lunches. No schedules. No homework worries. No deadlines. No stress.

A week before finals started and school ended for the year, Darcy came home and nonchalantly came into the kitchen where I was slicing veggies for dinner and started off a conversation with the words I've come to dread.

Darcy: "SSSSSSOOOOO....."

I braced myself for what she was about to say. She always starts out conversations this way only when she thinks I'm going to disapprove. Or at least that's how I've come to assess it.

Darcy: "So my teacher Ms. P. needs someone to watch her Keurig this summer, and some kids suggested me."
Me: "I'm sorry, what?"
Darcy: "I know. It's weird. But Ms. P. is worried that if she leaves her Keurig in the pile of items to be carried into the new school her pot will get lost. And she needs someone to use it every once in awhile this summer to keep it going, I guess."

One year my kids begged me to take the class pet for the summer. It was a chincilla and white as snow. I took one look into that rodent's eyes and immediately declined. I talked about how much we traveled. How lonely it would be without us. They begged, and I pretended to consider it; just long enough for someone else to step up to the plate and adopt the animal for the summer.

In middle school it was a bearded dragon. They begged me to let them take the animal for the summer. I took one look at that wanna be alligator as he spit at us and declined. They kept begging, and I pretended to consider it, and sure enough, some do-gooder stepped in and took the decision out of my hands.

Now here we were again.

Me: "Wait. Let me get this straight. Your teacher wants us to watch the class coffee maker?"
Darcy: "That's it in a nutshell."
Me: "No bird? No hamster? The class coffee pot?"
Darcy: "It's a Keurig."
Me: "Yes."
Darcy: "What? Really? I thought for sure you would say no."
Me: "It's only fair that we take our turn."
Darcy: "Uh huh. You never let us take the class animal from elementary school."
Me: "I know, and so now it is our turn to take the class pet."
Darcy: "It's a Keurig."
Me: "I'm going to name him Karl."

Karl came to us the last day of school. He was very dirty and leaking water and coffee from having just been used. He rode on Madison's lap in the car ride home. We discussed all of the fun things we would do with him this summer. Darcy suggested we get him some eyes.

At home I gave him a bath. He needed it. I went to my SIL's blog and read her entry on doing just this very task. I scrubbed him from top to bottom and then from the inside out. Sparkling and clean, we set him up on the kitchen counter away from our other pot who was showing signs of dislike to the newcomer. We all agreed Karl was very happy and certainly looked it.

Stayed tuned for periodic updates on our adventures with Karl Keurig, the class pet we are caring for this summer. I'm thinking I can stretch this out into several blog entries at least...

Tis the season for graduations

We were lucky this year with only two graduations locally, one high school and one elementary ceremony. The high school senior was a friend my girls met in pre-school. She fits right between my girls in age and grade so the three of them played very well together. She is going to study agriculture at Penn State University this fall with a double major including dance. We wish her the best luck!

Then

And now

Tuesday's graduation was for my charge. Her parents had to work so the girls and I attended and represented. It was chaos. One hundred and forty 5th graders who had been cooped up the day before with Tropical Storm Colin dumping rain. They were in no mood to listen to their teachers call names and hand out awards. I didn't care. I worked too hard to get this child on the Honor Roll so we sat there until her name was called in the gifted program. 

First the march through the halls of school 

while the lower grades high five and cheer

Honor Roll award

With her awards and diploma

We celebrated both graduations with food. The high school graduate had a party at the yacht club Saturday night where we danced and ate way too much food. Yesterday my charge graduated and then we went out to breakfast. Nothing says celebration like food! And now our summer begins...

The longest birthday celebration

My kid knows how to party, at least around, on, and after her birthday. I thought last year was exhausting, but this year was right there. The one thing that came out of all this partying? We are SICK of cookie cakes.

Birthday Celebration #1 - With Family - My MIL was leaving the day after Darcy's birthday so she instigated this celebration. The two of them plotted it and the family met at Outback Steakhouse for dinner and the first (of many) cookie cakes.

Birthday Celebration #2 - With friends - The morning of her birthday she skipped school. It was final weeks and she didn't have a final that afternoon, and "claims" she didn't know she was suppose to attend school in the morning. Instead we went to breakfast with a group of her friends at one of our favorite haunts. There was on cookie cake, but there was pie.

Birthday Celebration #3 - At Home - We always celebrate the day of, or the night of, depending on the day of the week. I made her favorite dinner, angel hair pasta and sauce, and we had another cookie cake and opened all of her gifts.

Birthday Celebration #4 - With friends - This party she and her dad planned. I was invited via Facebook which I'm currently boycotting. I didn't find out about this party until I overheard her talking. Her friends thought it hilarious that I was the only one on Facebook who hadn't even "viewed" the invite. Just to be funny I finally viewed it and said I would "maybe" be attending. She had it at the beach like last year and she had a blast. About twenty kids showed up despite Tropical Storm Colin heading our way. The skies stayed overcast and the rain didn't come until the party was an hour past its end. This one had two cookie cakes and cupcakes. I didn't take photos of it because I missed it. I came to the party late and took a few pics.

We now have a lull between celebrations. I'm going to take full advantage of that and jump ahead on gift buying. Yeah, right. I just mailed off three gifts today, one of which is 6 months late. What is with all of these people and their birthdays?

Our personal fireworks display during Colin

Me: "I don't like fire. I'm afraid of fire."

I said that tonight and then, later, I thought about it. When did this happen? I'm afraid of a lot of things that started, I thought, in my childhood, but when I try to think back to when I first remember feeling this fear, to figure out why this fear, well, I can't pinpoint it. The more I thought tonight about my fire fear I realized it is not so much a fright of flames flickering about, but more the idea of creating fire. I don't like lighting matches. Or candles. Or bunsen burners.

The first memory that came to me was having to light a match to light my bunsen burner in high school. My chemistry teacher was the football coach, and his reputation was that of a tough cookie. I worried for days for the day that I would have to set fire to the area under the test tube. When the day came and the teacher questioned why I had not lit my burner I practically cried. And then I did what I tended to do when caught in sticky situations; I lied.

I told a version of the truth. I told my teacher that I was afraid of fire because I had lost a brother to it. I told stories of how he use to light matches, of how he enjoyed the glow of the flame, and how after many times catching the woods behind our neighbor's house on fire he moved his pyro obsession to the car. It was here where he succumbed, catching the car on fire and himself. The teacher patted me on the shoulder and lit my bunsen burner for me. He might have been tough on the football field, but in the classroom and with the girls he was an old softie. It was only after my lab partner scoffed and said, "Banana, you're a lying stack of shit," that he decided I was heading in the right direction to become a writer.

I only have one brother, and while he certainly went through a pyro stage, he did not blow himself or our car to smithereens. He had a few episodes with starting fires in the woods behind said neighbor's house, and he tortured me with lighting matches, and so I decided last night to blame him for my fear of making fire. So when my husband returned from walking the dog during one of Tropical Storm Colin's breathers, and told me to quickly come outside to show me a potential fire hazard I was not the calm, cool, collected person I always am in crisis situations.

My husband led me outside in the spitting rain to point out that the palm tree in the neighbor's yard, katty corner to us and behind us, was blowing in the 30 mile and hour winds, and each time it brushed against the electrical wires that run through our backyards sparks shot into the sky. Sparks! From the electric pole! The wind blew. The palm fronds swayed, touched the wires, and SPARKS. IT was like watching a fireworks show. Immediately, although my body stood perfectly still in the driveway, inside it was running around the driveway shrieking.

Me: "OH MY GOD! It's going to catch on fire!"

Tom: "More likely the transformer will blow and we'll lose power."

Me: "Or the tree will catch on fire, or the wind will blow the sparks on to our house and the house next to us, and the whole neighborhood will catch on fire."

Tom: "Good thing it's raining then."

That's my husband. He's calm, cool, and collected in situations where I am not. Instead of that having a soothing affect on me it pisses me off, and then I tend to just panic more. Which I did in this situation. I came up with ten scenarios of a burning inferno caused by this palm tree that was growing into the electric lines. I told him we needed to alert the electric company, the neighbors who owned the tree, the neighbors up and down the street, the fire department. I ran inside and made the kids come outside and join in my hysteria. I ran out to the pool deck to see if I could see it up closer, and not being able to do so, I ran back to the front of the house. The dog thought this was great fun and he ran with me jumping up at me and barking.

The palm tree neighbors were not home. Tom called them.

Me: "Leave a message! Why didn't you leave a message? They were probably right there and didn't recognize the number."

Tom: "What would I have said? It would have been too long of a message and they aren't home."

Me: "How do you know this? They are probably like us, watching TV and not caring about answering the phone until they hear someone leave the message. You could just start off by saying who you are, reminding them we live behind them, and by then they will pick up the phone and you can tell them their house is going to catch on fire."

Tom:  "You need to relax."

Me: "I don't like fire. I'm afraid of fire."

I paused then and thought about that statement. That gave Tom enough time to get on the phone with the power company. He explained the situation, used the fireworks analogy, tromped outside to describe what he was seeing, gave the neighbor's address, gave our address, scheduled a date for trimming trees, left his number, and hung up.

Me: "Well? What did she say?

Tom: "She said call the fire department if the tree catches on fire."

Supposedly, the company would send someone out to survey the scene. I spent another hour running outside to check the progress. I swore I smelled smoke. I know I heard popping and sizzling noises. I called and left a message on the neighbor's phone letting them know their tree was causing dangerous sparks. Eventually Colin got bored and began dumping tons of rain on us once again. Tom went to bed. 

I've checked the trees once more, standing under an umbrella that threatened to carry me up, up, up into the air where I probably would have connected with the power lines myself. The sparks were very minimal. I thought maybe even the tree had shrunk some. I imagined the brave power company man shimming up the trunk to trim the palm fronds while I was finishing my television program. I gave up and took a shower where I pondered my fire fear. Here's hoping to our house still standing tomorrow.

Update: It rained all night and morning. No fire. No more sparks. Haven't heard from the neighbors or the power company. The top of the tree, however, is brown, although you can't see that in the photo. So much for panicking....