College end 2019 - daughter #1

Tom and I spent considerable time discussing how fast four years went by. In the blink of an eye, it seemed. As it does when you have kids. One minute we were traveling to North Carolina to move her in, and one minute we were driving to North Carolina to watch her graduate and move her home. Yikes.

She had four years' worth of stuff. Most of it got chucked and/or donated. Mainly because we didn't have room for things like a microwave and a refrigerator. Much to daughter #2's disappointment. But unlike daughter #2 who was able to bring home winter clothes after the season, daughter #1 had everything. Including heavy winter clothing that will not be useful or used in Florida.

Moving Madison was very much like it was moving her into her dorm in her junior year. Same quad, different building, but this time she was on the third floor with no elevator, and we had air conditioning. I told Tom to suck it up. I had it worse that year.

Madison had packed several boxes and other bins, but after they were loaded into the car, Tom and I decided that purchasing plastic containers and repacking would work better. The plastic bins were a better size and stackable so that the driver could see out the back. We did that for her while she worked. As an RA, she had to close down dorms and walk through dorm rooms taking pictures and writing reports.

Tom did the heavy work. The lifting, the carrying, the loading. I did the packing and cleaning. Tom and Maddy did the trash and the donating lifting. We worked well as a team. I did the least, I won't lie.

The van was loaded when we were finished. Hopefully, there will be room for Darcy's luggage when she arrives from Italy.

Madison finished work a day early and was released, and I felt a bit sad that this was it. UNC is a beautiful campus. Tom and I enjoyed our yearly visits. 

Not that we can't come back, but it won't be the same. Madison, however, was good. She put in her four years, did what she came to do, and was ready to move on with the next stage. We visited her eating haunts one last time, took photos, spent her last dollars on her student card, and then said, peace out UNC.

Four years ago, we dropped off our first-born and let her spread her wings. Now she's back in the nest until she's off again. I plan to enjoy this summer until that happens.

From the travel journal - North Carolina 2019

5/10/19 at 2:00 p.m. (Cara)

We have dropped off the dog at our friend's house. According to Tom, Elliot is settled in on the floor, licking his paws. I didn't go in. I didn't want to see his sad eyes when Tom left. Elliot knows as soon as the suitcases come out of the closet that he is being shipped off. It makes me too sad.

Traffic on the bridge to Tampa sucked. As always. Seriously? At 2:20 p.m. on a Friday? Why aren't people working? Indoors? It took us an hour to get through Tampa. Tom gets grouchy in traffic. I refused to let him doodle on his phone since he was driving. He is a phone user when he drives. I wouldn't let him even touch his phone, and I consistently gave him helpful suggestions on how to drive. He was not receptive to either. Huh.

When I travel by car, its usually not with my husband but with other women; my mother, my kids, Kelly, and recently SueG. We have a lot to talk about. Stories. Happenings in our daily life. There rarely is silence, and if god forbid, we have a lull; it is filled with fun made-up car games. Traveling with the husband? Jeez, way too much silence. The man and I had nothing to talk about. I kept searching my brain for topics he might enjoy, but always in the back of my mind was him telling me, like ten years or more ago, that when I speak, he hears the ocean. Also, when we recently drove to clear Darcy from her dorm, I read the first five chapters of my book, WHICH IS FINISHED BY THE WAY, aloud. He enjoyed the first two chapters. Before I could get through chapter five, he interrupted and told me to cut to the chase. Uh? What? It's a book! Which I said aloud. His response was to ask a million questions which he felt should've been answered by chapter five. That's the kind of feedback I've been looking for, only uh, one problem.

I answered those questions in chapter 3-5!

Tom: "Oh, well, I don't think I was really listening. This is the part of the book where I'd skip ahead. I don't care about all this mushy love nonsense."

Me: "It's a romance novel."

So, all of that was in my head when I searched for general topics for discussion, and eventually, I gave up. I put on music instead and sang. He got bored, and he was tired. He's a podcast guy. When he suggested a boring podcast station, I took over driving. The rule usually is the driver chooses the radio/Bluetooth music, etc. I didn't bring this up with Tom because I didn't want to listen to his boring shit, so I just took over the driving. I fired up a podcast called That's Awesome done by two General Hosptial actors who interview other GH actors. Tom went to sleep.

My dad taught me how to drive on the interstate. I think I'm a decent driver because of his teachings. One of his lessons was staying to the right unless passing. Tom, on the other hand, believes in always being on the left because there is less chance of getting hit. I don't see his logic, and it drives me crazy. Another teaching from my father was getting over when a car is pulled off to the side. It is now a law in most states, mainly because of the deaths that have occurred from this like people changing flats, etc. It's a pet peeve of mine that so many people DO NOT obey this law. My husband would be one of those people.

Let's say the first couple of hours was full of a lot of disagreement.

He got better after he slept.

We got into more stop and go traffic in Gainesville. Three lanes of traffic moved, but slowly. The left lane seemed to be moving faster, but I figured it would eventually slow, so I stayed in the middle lane. Finally, after about half an hour, I switched to the left. I should've done that way earlier. That lane moved, and eventually, we found out why. Some yahoo trucker had just stopped dead in the middle lane and was adjusting the twenty plus cars he was carrying on his truck. He was strolling around tightening straps and acting like he was in his darn driveway at home. Yes, there was a wreck a half a mile further, but what the what?

We got around him and finally past the wreck, and we were back in business. We didn't have any more issues after that. Tom started getting into the GH podcasts. We stopped for dinner, changed drivers, and we drove halfway before pulling over for the night at a Microtel Inn by Wyndham. I have their rewards since I'm a Club Wyndham owner, so I figured why not? Also, they are cheap, and my husband is all about cheap for sleeping in a bed for six hours.

This place was cheap, all right. It was undergoing renovations, and there were boxes and boxes of materials everywhere you walked. There were supplies like paint and brushes lying around. The worst thing? No elevator. We were on the second floor, and it was a jam in the stairwell with those of us lugging our cases upstairs and those coming downstairs. Tom griped about that the whole way. I reminded him that we were also in a Microtel Inn in NC. One that he insisted we book because it was like $62 a night. He had no memory of that, of course.

The room was spotless. Very modern. One of the updated ones that didn't have that horrible full wall of mirrors that Microtel has that I hate. We showered and were in bed before eleven. Day one in the books.

Out of the mouths of my babes

Tom: "We need to stop at a store so I can get some toothpaste."

Madison: "I have toothpaste you can use."

Tom: "I need my own toothpaste. You'll be here, and I'll be at the hotel."

Madison: "I have a second toothpaste from freshman year."

Me: "Don't tell me things like that. You still have toothpaste from your first year here? Have you brushed your teeth?"

Madison: "You packed me a lot of tubes."

Me: "That did not answer my question."

Tom: "We need to stop and get some toothpaste. Just like I said."

College Graduation

Four years. 

Over. Just like that. 

BAM. 

My firstborn daughter is a college graduate.

Tom: "It doesn't seem like four years, does it? Has it been four years?"

We made arrangements, loaded the van, and drove to North Carolina for our daughter's graduation from the University of North Carolina. It was a whirlwind of a weekend.

Saturday, she had her Bachelor of Sciences graduation in Biology in the evening. It poured down rain, and the Student Center made a nice profit selling umbrellas (hello, husband), much like Disney does selling ponchos in the summer. While the commencement was indoors, we all stood in line for miles to get inside, and most of us were soaked by the time we made it past the doors. Umbrellas were not made to be next to one another in a line.

It was long. We were seated where the speakers blocked our vision of the department chair handing out the certificates on the completely opposite side of where our kid sat. But we could see her, and we managed some decent pics as she walked the walk.

There was a reception after the commencement outside under tents heavy with water. We nibbled on cheese and crackers, veggies, and cookies shaped like feet with a chocolate tar on the heel. It poured the entire time, and other than a few pictures with Madison's one and only roommate, we didn't hang around for long. Instead, we hiked to her dorm. Where we saw that she'd sort of begun packing.

Sunday at 9:00 a.m. was the commencement with the entire Senior class. That ceremony is held outdoors. Last year it was 95 degrees, and people were passing out. This year rain was forecasted. It held off. The day was overcast, in the high 70's, and while we couldn't tell where our daughter was seated, it was much more pleasant than I had intended.

The speakers were decent. The Class President was good. The singing was phenomenal. And the best part was that the students did not walk the stage to get their diplomas. Not with over 5,000 students graduating. Oh, that's why we have separate ceremonies!

From there, we hiked to the Honors College for a reception. Unfortunately, the food was picked clean when we arrived. Nothing but water and lemonade. We picked up her Honors Certificate and moved on to the next ceremony.

The Bachelor of Arts Chemistry Degree was indoors but off-campus. We hiked and hiked until we came to that realization and caught a shuttle. We arrived thirty minutes into the reception, but unlike the Honors College, Chemistry had plenty of food. We munched on sandwiches, egg rolls, chicken, empanadas, and desserts. We had cheese and crackers, fruits, and plenty of veggies and dip, and if we'd had Tupperware containers, we would have taken it all home with us. We were starved.

The Chemistry majors in BA and BS were a small group. Chemistry is very hard at UNC, apparently. I'm told it takes tons of hours, time, and hard work, and not many students can cut it. The chair of the department was a hoot. He gave a great speech. The speaker did a heck of a job. The kids walked the walk for their certificates, and everyone could see.

We voted that one as the best! From there, we rode a different shuttle, and since we were the only ones on it, he said he'd drop us at our car. The problem was, Tom and I hadn't a clue which parking garage we parked in. We were too focused on getting to the stadium for the graduation that other than knowing we were on the seventh floor, we were utterly clueless.

Tom: "We're on the seventh floor."

Me: "It had elevators with glass."

Madison: "You're describing generic details of every parking garage on campus."

Yep, our bad. The driver let us off at the garage he and Tom thought was correct. I knew as soon as we went down the street that it wasn't the right one, but we followed the hubby on to the elevator and realized there was no button for 7 since there were only six floors in this garage. 

We hiked some more. We studied maps. Madison finally sat down at a bus stop and refused to budge. Tom left us to go find the car. We tracked him and watched him walk to almost every parking garage on campus before he struck gold. Then we watched him again as he tried to find us where he'd left us.

Shades of losing Grandma in Scotland. He did eventually rescue u,s and then he took us to dinner to end the evening.

She earned two degrees; BS in Biology and a BA in Chemistry, both with the highest distinction. 

We are so proud of everything this woman has accomplished in these four years. We have watched her develop into a leader, watched her overcome her shyness to excel in many areas, and we think she's one hell of an adult. 

Her plan is for graduate school down the road in genetics. 

Here's to you, kiddo. You did good! We love you! Congratulations!

Dedication

I don't know if my book will ever get published. So, because I have a blog, I'm just going to write my dedication page right here, right now. Because I have a lot of people I want to thank, and who knows if that sucker ever did get published if I'd be able to get everyone on the small page of a romance book.

I've been writing since I understood how to form sentences. From short stories using our weekly spelling list to playwriting for the neighborhood kids to perform. From the neverending high school soap opera that filled four college-bound notebooks to the many class papers, I wrote for myself and others. To the 80's romance stories that now horrify my daughter to the various college creative writing classes for my major. From plays and shows for my children's school to travel journals highlighting our family drama. From stories in my head to this blog. I have always been writing.

Along the way, many loved me. Many listened. Many encouraged. Many cheered me on. Thank you:

To Mickey Sue because I promised
way back in the old days when I wrote
and she kindly listened--to everything.

To Kelly who started me on this path
and gave me my title

To my daughter Madison who spent countless hours
plotting with me and who cracked the whip
when I got discouraged.

To my daughter Darcy and my husband Tom for supporting
me in this endeavor.

To my high school composition teacher Mr. Wooton
who pumped encouragement with each assignment.

To my college professor Dr. Grabill who made me think,
made me rewrite, and who truly believed I could do this.

To my blog readers who keep coming back
to read about my silly life.

To my mother, a writer herself, who'd hate the genre, but who'd be proud I finally accomplished it.

And thank you to the romance published writers
who help those of us still hoping for what they have.

Thank you. Thank you.

THE END

I did it! At approximately 7:30 p.m. this evening, I typed the following:

THE END

Then I bolded it--because HOLY SHIT--I WROTE A BOOK!!

Yep, the girl with the liberal arts who degree majored in creative writing (before that was really even a thing) wrote a freaking book.

I write. All the time. I blog. I write essays. I write screenplays. I write speeches. I've written short stories. But never, ever, ever, have I finished a book. Started many-I have boxes of beginnings, middles, and ends--but I've never finished them. Until now.

I wrote it a year ago--in my head. Getting it out of my head...whoa...so not easy. But after many starts and many long nights of no sleep, I finished it. I typed THE END.

It isn't pretty, my book. It's not going to change the world or win a Pulitzer. It's a romance novel full of love and witty banter and fun. In my opinion. It's the kind of romance novel I enjoy reading.

It's my first, and I'm told the first always sucks. I'm okay with that. Right now, mine probably does.

Now comes the hard part. The editing. I need more internal dialogue. Definitely more tightening. But for right now, HOLY SHIT, I WROTE A BOOK. Not sure where it goes from here, but I'm so grateful for the opportunity.

Cheers to me!

College End 2019 - Daughter #2

My kids are coming home for the summer. 

Yep, once again, I'm going to be employed. Back to the SAHM moniker. At least, for three months. I don't remember doing so, but my friend Jim told me I danced around the breakfast restaurant when I announced that a few months ago. Since then, I've not slept. Seriously.

Parenting never ends. My mother told me this, but as I usually did when she offered up tidbits of advice, I listened and discarded or rolled my eyes or did whatever it was I did that WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION FOR MY FUTURE. My girls left the nest, and nothing changed. I still sent money, offered advice, and often said no, or yes, and I always worried. It was just done differently. 

Plus, there was the whole out-of-sight, far-away, can't-control-it-as-easily thing. 

Just thinking about their return gave me sleepless nights. First, I feel for them. Especially the college graduate. Coming back to the nest when you've been out on your own isn't easy. I didn't experience that until way after college, but I remember. 

Secondly, my house isn't large. To use my hall bathroom, you have to bypass one kid's room. I expect that place to have a made bed. How hard is that? Make your bed! Oh, believe me, she will. That's the first rule I'm enforcing. 

Lastly, there is that hall bathroom. It's their shared bathroom, and it's our guest bathroom. IT HAS TO BE CLEAN. That will be rule number two of my enforcement.

Daughter number two is finished, and we moved her out of her dorm last Sunday. It went quite smoothly. Darcy packed, Tom stacked, and the two of them carried while I packed and cleaned. Tom and I headed home alone as she had to finish work and take a final on Tuesday. Tom unloaded the car, and I frantically searched for places in my home to put her crap. Her bedroom was a mess.

She arrived home at 11:32 p.m. The next day she subbed as a PE teacher, and I didn't see her until 8:30 when she joined us at her grandmother's for dinner. Thursday, she was gone all day running errands because she left that night for New York City, where she will catch a plane on Sunday for a study abroad trip to Italy. 

In the day and a half that she slept in our house, it was like a mini Tazmania Devil blew through. I mean, I found dish soap in my library on my bookshelves! What the what?

Her flight to NYC was delayed due to weather. She didn't get into the Big Apple until midnight. Of course, I stayed up until she arrived safely to the NYU dorm, where she was staying with a friend for three nights. That was at 1:30 a.m. Hubby had long gone to bed, knowing I had the parent worry thing under control. 

By the time I climbed into bed, it was after two o'clock, and don't even get me started on the flight to Italy. She landed at two o'clock our time. I had just fallen asleep, so I didn't get that information until I awoke the next day to 20 text messages that, in essence, were about how she was vomiting in the airport and that her professor and the rest of the students were delayed due to more crappy local weather. Daughter #1 was, of course, awake at two o'clock in the morning and so she conversed with her. 

People, I HAVE NOT SLEPT. 

Until last night. Last night I slept fairly decently. Amazing what a great night of sleep will do. Look at me! Blogging! But you know why I slept? Because Daughter #2 is off the grid. I can't reach her unless I pay a fortune in overseas charges, and so until she's somewhere that has wifi, I'm back to the out-of-sight, far-away, can't-control lifestyle. Until she returns. At which time I'll have the first one too. 

I was getting used to retirement, and while I'm thrilled to have my girls home, we are in readjustment mode. It's time to establish rules, stick to my guns, relax, and get some sleep. Simple, right?

Thieves

I have an ant problem, and it's driving me batty. 

The first indication occurred when construction began on the patio, and I found teeny tiny ants walking across my desk--right in front of me, casually waving as they strolled. I killed them. (Sorry, Madison, but they were so minuscule that there was no way I could've trapped them quickly--and I say quickly because of course, I could've set out some trap but then I would've been further distracted from my writing--and released them back into the wild or wherever it is that ants reside.) 

So, I killed them.

With the Clorox wipes that I keep on my desk. 

For four days, I went through a container of those wipes ridding my desk of ants. It drove me insane because I couldn't figure out where they were coming from as both windows were void of the small creatures. I concluded the digging outside both windows had uprooted these critters' nests, and they, in turn, blamed me. Because I didn't see them on Darcy's desk. Or Madison's desk. Or anywhere else in the playroom/office/Steelers Room. 

Eventually, however, my diligence paid off, or they got tired of losing their relatives, and they disappeared from my desk.

Apparently, to move into my kitchen.

I spotted them in the kitchen after, let me say that again, AFTER I devoured a large bite of Easter cake. I was going for a second when I realized the cake was crawling with ants. I gagged for fifteen minutes. Now, if food is left on our counter, we have ants. If food is not out, we have ants. Except in the window or window sill. There are no ants there.

I'm Clorox's biggest fan, but that stuff ain't working.

Today, I turned to the Internet. The ants are either thief ants or pharaoh ants. According to the worldwide web, I'd need to view them under a magnifying glass to determine which one, and while I'd most anything for a blog post, I'm TRYING TO FINISH MY BOOK. 

I don't have time for blogging, let alone an infestation of ants. I have no clue whether they are yellow (pharaoh) or brownish (thief), but I'm leaning more toward the thief ants because one, I think the name fits as they are stealing hours in my day, and two, I dislike what I'm reading pharaoh ants. 

Those suckers have multiple nests, exceeding a quarter million ants, numerous queens, and are hard to control. If I can't get rid of them, they will be with me forever. 

I'm sure these are thief ants.

I read through the multitude of ways to be free of them. I went with a suggestion of sprinkling cinnamon in the area. I'm not sure if these suckers like sweets or how the spice will repeal them, but I've sprinkled cinnamon along the seam in my kitchen counter from where I've concluded they are living.

 This makes me think my kitchen renovation is going to happen sooner rather than later because maybe these countertops are infested. Hey, this could be the upside! 

I'm leaving the cinnamon for an hour to see what happens. It does smell better than the bleach solution, so at least there's that. 

Also, my bug man is scheduled to appear tomorrow. Between him and the Internet, someone should be able to figure this out. Because seriously, I've had ENOUGH. 

Four month 2019 resolution check

Let's see how I'm doing four months in on the resolutions. I rate myself with a scale of 1-10. I work toward a total of 50-50 by the end of the year. While it hasn't happened yet, one never knows...

• Tackle a project once a month - I had a project in March, which of course, carried into April along with January's project. Neither are finished. I did better the first three months than I did in April. I don't think I even looked at either that month. Wait. Let me work some now, and then I can at least give myself something.  Score - 3

• Finish my book, begin editing it, and start writing book #2 - I feel like I always have excuses for why this damn book isn't done, but people, I AM SO CLOSE! I hit a wall in March, and after a two-hour plotting session with my writing guru Madison, I am so near! Getting over the hurdle was huge, and now I know where it is going. I have maybe two more chapters, maybe three left to write. I have had six people read Chapter 1. I write daily now from 10-5; those are my hours. I've turned down lunches and fun activities, and I'm obsessed. I even stayed up until 4:00 a.m. this week because I was on a roll. Plus, I've already started editing due to an editor and an agent visiting our writer's group these past two months. So that counts. And book two is being written in my head. Along with books 3 and 4. Score: 6

• Learn the next step in the writing career (i.e., writing a synopsis, querying an agent, etc.). - Yes! Yes, I have been doing this. Oh, thank goodness. I was worried I hadn't made any of these damn resolutions. But not only have I been working on a synopsis of my book, but our writer's group also discussed querying an agent and working with an editor. So BAM! Score: 9

• Adopt a healthier lifestyle (including eating, exercising, sleeping, and vitamins) - Kept this one going on the eating. I spent most of March walking at least 20 - 30 minutes, but April I didn't do as well. I blame the book. It's consuming me. Score: 5

• Use more Wyndham points this year than last year - Okay, so I've book two Wyndham vacations for May and June! AND, I sold points to my SIL's for May and July. BAM! Score: 9

Total: 32 out of 50. After worrying that I hadn't scored well, I managed to outdo the last check-in, so that's good. Here's to an even better halfway mark!