First day initiation

I'm working on forging a new path for my future, and in doing so I signed up to do some volunteer work at my church. I attend a congregation that welcomes everyone of all faiths, beliefs, backgrounds, sexual orientation, etc. It has fit me well, and when the call for a blog editor went out over social media I realized that fit me well too, and so I responded. I am now the blog administrator for the congregation, and since I was on a roll I also signed up to work in the office twice a week. Forging my new path...

Friday was my first day. It was to be a day of training to learn the ropes, and I was quite nervous, wondering what I had gotten myself into. Working behind the scenes for the blog was one thing, but working where people could see me was another. I'm not too keen on new things, especially when I feel I don't know everything about a subject, and I tend to be reserved and quiet (shocking, I know). My trainer, I'll call her TJ, met me and immediately put me at ease with her outgoing personality and niceness. She showed me where we would be working, and then decided to give me a tour. We had just come out of the supply area when the admin woman told us a young man was at the front door inquiring about the church. I told TJ I would follow her and observe. I had been at the new job for all of ten minutes at this point.

We went out into the foyer, and TJ opened the locked door and in came the man. He was probably late twenties, dressed in a shirt and trousers, a suit jacket, and barefoot. I saw the bare feet almost instantly, and alarm bells went off in my head. I'm a woman always on the look out for danger, and a man with no shoes coming into a church nestled back among residential areas gave me a twinge. There were three women in this building, and now we were admitting a man inside...with no shoes. TJ, however, seemed at ease and immediately put out her hand introducing herself. The young man pulled back his hand, explained that he had some metacarpal damage and thus needed to shake gently, and proceeded to do just that, introducing himself as Jim (name changed to protect the innocence). He then came toward me with his elbow tucked tightly against his side, his hand out, fingers curled. I gently took his hand and introduced myself, and immediately grew more suspicious at the dead fish handshake, something I totally find repulsive having been taught the importance of a good handshake.

TJ: "So I understand you are interested in learning more about our congregation. What types of things are you looking for?"
Jim: "God has sent me here. God told me that this church was a welcoming one. God told me that this church welcomes everyone."
TJ: "That is very true. We welcome everyone. What are you looking for, Jim?"
Jim: "Well I know that God is great. I know that God is good. I know that depression is not really depression and that bi-polar is not really bi-polar, and that the Bible is true, and that God loves us all."
TJ: "Okay, well, I'm not sure that this is the right fit for you. Have you tried the church across the street?"

Up to this point Jim had been pretty mellow, but not mellow enough that my guard was down. I figured he was a street preacher, and that he didn't really like what the UU's were all about, and was here to set us all straight. He reminded me of a guy who use to stand on a box on my college campus every week and shout out bible verses that would save all of us heathens. Again, TJ seemed at ease, smiling and nodding her head as he spoke. Her demeanor relaxed me, but not enough that my head wasn't thinking of various dangerous scenarios and how I might respond to them. But when TJ suggested the church across the street, Mr. Mellow suddenly got a bit agitated.

Jim: "I will NOT go to that church. Do you know why? Because they say that GOD IS A WOMAN! GOD IS NOT A WOMAN! DO YOU BELIEVE GOD IS A WOMAN?"

My first thought as soon as he said the first GOD IS NOT A WOMAN was here we go again with another male who will vote for Trump, hoping that women will go back to being submissive. I did not say this aloud as the "recognize danger" part of me knew that would not be the right thing at this moment. Instead I turned to see how TJ was going to handle this one, my feeling at this point that this woman was GOD herself seeing as how calm and collected she appeared to be at handling this crazy situation.

TJ: "Well, actually I'm the wrong person to ask that question of because I personally don't believe in God."

Jim and I both looked at her in disbelief, albeit for different reasons. Up to this point, I thought she was going to save us from danger and get this guy safely back outside on the other side of our locked door, but as soon as that came out of her mouth I was sure we were goners. I was thinking in my head how that would probably not have been the right thing to say at this time of the conversation, and my head spun around to Jim wondering if he had any kind of weapons inside his suit jacket and whether or not I could diffuse a bomb if he had that strapped to his chest under his shirt.

Years ago, when I first moved to Florida, I worked for Kelly Girl and had a stint at a church in the city downtown. It was not in a good neighborhood and was kept locked tightly up during the weekdays. A camera and intercom was at the front of the church, and my job as the temporary secretary was to answer questions from people who rang the bell. I was warned that all sorts of people would attempt entry and that under no circumstances was I to unlock the door, not even for deliveries. After the first three visitors, I understood why. I had one person who wanted to come in to rid the church of the devil who was lurking inside. He had incense that he kept waving around the door of the church. I had another person who told me a sad tale of losing a job, needing to feed kids, and when the minister spoke to him through the intercom he pulled a weapon, issued threats, and I had to call the police who came and moved him along. Immediately, all of this came flooding back to me as Jim stared at TJ in utter disbelief of her proclamation.

I waived between my stances; standing tall and fighting or flight. There was silence, and then suddenly Jim's head swiveled on his neck and he stared bullets at me. I had to fight down the urge to shrug my shoulders and say, "Don't look at me. This is my first day on the job." That phrase coming from a story my friend told me of her first day as a bank teller about to be robbed. Wisely, I kept my mouth shut and smiled at Jim.

He was good. He looked back at TJ, took a deep breath, and told her it was okay and that God loved her anyway. TJ thanked him, and then proceeded to gather some brochures for him to take with him. He followed her over to the brochure stand.

Jim: "God is telling me right now that he forgives you. He loves you even if you don't believe."
TJ: "Well, I appreciate that. I really do, Jim. Now here is some information for you to read. Let's see what else I have here that might speak to you."
Jim: "You know, TJ, God is telling me that you once were a believer when you were young. You believed as a child, but something happened to cause you to lose your way, and he is okay with that. He forgives you because he knows you will repent and find your way back to him. He is telling me he can wait."

I refrained from looking around the foyer for God, but that was flitting through my head seeing as how God was apparently talking to this young man right then. That thought almost had me laughing because by now I was a bundle of hysterical nerves, and thinking about how these types of situations always seem to happen to me. I knew the poor man was obviously having a episode, most likely some sort of manic bi-polar episode seeing as how he brought that up in the beginning of our conversation, but that didn't put my mind at ease. Danger still lurked in there for me, as it always does.

Jim: "I really like that you have a Zen Center here. God says that I need to see the Zen Center. Would it be possible for me to go through the Zen Center?"
TJ: "Yes, yes, we have the Zen Center on property, but it isn't affiliated with the church. Unfortunately, it isn't open right now. It is open on Wednesdays so if you want to come back then you can surely speak with them at that time."
Jim: "That won't be possible. I won't be here on Wednesday."
TJ: "Oh, are you just passing through then?"
Jim: "No, I will not be here after tomorrow."

My mind kicked in on that one wondering why he was here asking for information if he wasn't going to be here for Sunday service. The next thing I know he and TJ are discussing the Rapture which apparently, in Jim's mind, was happening the next day.

Jim: "That's why I'm not wearing shoes."

I had no idea what that meant and was rolling that around in my mind. By now TJ had successfully moved toward him causing him to walk away from her. It was like she advanced toward him and he retreated. The direction was toward the door, and I was feeling like the end, of his visit, not the Rapture, was near, but then right as he got to the door, Jim swung away and walked over toward me.

Jim: "Do you have any books I can read?"
TJ: "No, we don't really have any literature in here."
Jim: "I've only read the Bible. I would like to read the Koran. Do you have the Koran?"

Back popped the danger in my head. TJ actually looked around the foyer as if searching for the Koran, but then I thought maybe she was searching for a defense weapon, and so I looked around the foyer too. Jim didn't pay much attention, but launched into a dissertation regarding Arabic and how if read backwards it spelled out numbers. By this point, my nerves and my brain were shutting down, and I just wanted to sit down. I wanted to put my hand in my head and scream, "Why can't we all just get along?"

But there was nowhere for me to sit unless I plopped down on the floor, and I couldn't do that. TJ continued moving him toward the door, and this time he went. They both went outside where she thanked him for coming, told him good luck, and he climbed on to a bicycle that I hadn't noticed when he first came inside. TJ turned to come back inside and found the door locked. She peered through the window at me and mouthed, "Help! Let me in!" and I did, this time allowing the nervous energy to come out in a sharp laugh.

TJ: "Okay, please do not quit. I promise that this doesn't happen. In fact I've never had this happen before in all my years of volunteering."

We went back inside to the office where the admin was waiting for us. We all agreed he was suffering, and while we certainly didn't belittle that, it was quite the initiation for my first day. So much so that when a gentleman arrived to take my picture for the volunteer board he was putting together, when he asked me for a line or two on what I would say to others who might be thinking of volunteering, I suggested, "RUN. RUN FOR THE HILLS."

He didn't take my picture.

More information about bi-polar disorder and depression can be found HERE. I actually have friends with this disorder, and do not take it lightly. The above story is like the rest of my entries: occurrences that happen to me in my life.