2021 Resolution check - four months

Every two months, I check in to see how I'm doing on my New Year's resolutions. I give myself a score between 1-10 with the hopes that I'm perfect by the end of the year. 

Let's check-in (4 months):

•  To be like 2020 Rebel Wilson and make this year a focus on health - The first two months I added exercise. I now walk three miles a day, five days a week. These last two months I added a daily smoothie/protein shake to my diet. I'm not down in pounds but I feel better and have lost some inches.  Score: 6

• To eat breakfast before I drink my morning coffee - Yes! Now, if I have it before I get shaky and sick. Score: 10

• To think of three positive, happy, uplifting things for every negative thought that runs into my head - Yes! Still kicking this one! Score: 10

• To edit book one and complete book two in all phases and attempt to publish. - I am doing well on book two with the help of my RWA mentor. We have edited Chapters 1-10 twice. I recently finished my third edit on those. We've edited chapters 11-14, and I've completed the second edit there. I am currently finishing the edits on the rest of the book and shall send to her. I'm feeling pretty darn good. Score: 8

• To continue down the path of completing past resolutions - Oops. I've forgotten all about this one. I did absolutely nothing on it. Darn it. (Watch my cursing was one, does that count? See, what I did there? No?) Score: 0

• To learn Russian - Yes! I have a streak of 100 days! Okay, I've missed maybe four out of the 100 but I earned enough points for freezes so my streak is alive! Score: 10

Total Score: 44 out of 50 - Maybe I've learned how to master making resolutions? Or I'm just this good this year? Who cares? I'm doing well!!

Who asked him?

Darcy: "I'm going to need your help with essay questions for a job I'm applying to. I'll call you tomorrow."

Me: "Excuse me, but I'm working tomorrow. Why is it no one understands that I'm working?"

Darcy: "Blame yourself. You chose to have children. You are responsible for getting nurturing and getting us ahead in life."

Me: "When is it my turn? When does the mother get help and nurturing from her children?"

Tom: "Mother's Day!"

H. Davis, my neighbor next door

Several years ago, during the big housing boom, Tom suggested we get a bigger house. I emphatically disagreed. I didn't want to leave our neighbors. All of my life, in every home I've lived, we've had wonderful neighbors--the kind who become a part of your family. There was no way I was leaving those neighbors.

Today, I received the news that the best neighbor ever had died. Howard was 99 years old. My heart is broken.

The first day that Tom moved into this house (a year before we married), Howard performed first-aid on my MIL. She cut her finger on something. We had just left to pick up another load at Tom's apartment, so Mary Anne went next door for help in staunching the bleeding. She informed us the neighbors were top-notch. She was right!

There was no one like Howard. He was the epitome of goodness. He never had anything unkind to say about anything or anyone. He and his wife Betty embraced us "young people," and they were a part of our lives from day one--literally, where my daughters were concerned, having been there since before they both were born.

Yesterday, before I knew Howard was gone, I texted him. After some health issues, Howard moved to Texas to be close to his daughters, but we kept in touch. I was sitting on our porch with Elliot, thinking about how Howard would've come over to sit with me if he'd still been next door. He was 99 so not getting a response from him was always a worry, but I think I knew when I texted. I hadn't heard from him on Easter. He died on April 14th. 

• Howard was one of the first people I told when I got pregnant. I was coming home from walking the hood, and he was outside. He greeted me with a joke about exercising, and I just had to spill the beans. He and Betty were so excited. Betty thought I was having a boy.
• Howard and Betty were the first of our neighbors to meet Madison when we brought her home from the hospital. They also were who we called the night I went into labor with Darcy. They came over until my MIL could get to our house. Betty knit both children a layette that is in their keepsake boxes today.
• They would leave the sliding door open to their screened porch so they could listen to Madison and her friends play outside. Howard told us Betty loved to hear the voices of children in the neighborhood.
• Howard was great at neighbor tact. When our bushes got too high, he'd offer to trim them. When our back fence rotted, he helped Tom replace it. In doing that, the neighbor behind us came out and yelled at Tom because she wasn't sure that the fence didn't belong to her. Howard calmly reversed psychology by exclaiming how he just knew she would be happy this rotting piece of wood was finally coming down. Years later, when we put in yet another fence along the back and side, we did not replace it between our house and Howard's. In typical Howard fashion, he got us not to do so by talking about his enjoyment in seeing the neighbors, the kids, the trees, etc. This year we finally finished our fence line along that side, and every time I see it, I think of Howard.

• Howard's house was the first house my kids would go to every Halloween. Even if we went to other neighborhoods or parties, they both insisted they had to show Howard their costumes first.
• Every Christmas, he hung out his decorations early so he could enjoy them before he headed off to spend the holidays with his girls. Every year since he left, I missed his lights on the fence in front of his house.
• He had fake flowers in the planter by his front door. I knew then I liked Howard and Betty because I had done the same when I moved into my first apartment. We made a lot of jokes about tending to them and watering them.
• Howard made us a set of wind chimes for our front porch.
• Howard and I once drank too much ouzo at our Greek neighbor's funeral. The dead man's wife kept pouring it into our glasses. She laughed about that for months.
• He had more social engagements and went to more parties than we did. 

• While Betty would often balk about "bothering us" if we invited her to dinner, Howard always accepted happily. After Betty died, he attended every birthday and celebration we threw. He knew all of our family and each one of our friends. Everyone always asks about him still today.
• He took Betty's death hard. I never forgot him telling me how they had held hands that morning in bed because "we old folks still did that." I sat with him in the hospital after she'd had her stroke. I promised her we would take care of him.
• He told me the secret to a long life was having a cocktail every night. Or, as he liked to call them, a "corktail." He would have us over for munchies and "corktails," and he always had stuff for the girls. They associate ginger ale with Howard. I associate rum and coke with Howard. He always put more rum than coke and assured me it was fine.
• After Betty's died, he would call me to ask me how to do things. Every time I try to fold a fitted bedsheet, I think of Howard. That was one of his questions, and I told him if he learned the answer, to pass it on. We worked hard at trying to come up with the best solution, and every time we failed. He finally told me he'd decided we could wad it into a ball and shove it into the closet. 

• Howard was a photographer. He loved when I posted nature photos to my blog, and he'd give me pointers. 
• He helped me paint Madison's bedroom when she was five. I don't think he had faith I could do it by myself. It was a pale lilac, and he kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to paint a room purple. I didn't know then that he was color blind.
• When we were picking out paint for the outside of our house, I bought different samples and painted a stripe on one wall. After I had a collection of them, Howard asked me if I wanted him to paint over them. I asked him why it bothered him, and he said it was too many colors for one wall. I reminded him he was color blind. 
• When he called me on the phone, he always said, "Hello, Cara, this is ole H. Davis from next door."
• Every month he'd come into our yard, sit on an overturned bucket, and trim the leaves from his bush that was creeping through the chainlink fence onto our side. We kept telling him he didn't have to do it, but he insisted. I'd bring him water or lemonade.

• Howard's birthday was in October, two days before my neighbor across the street's big day. For his 80th, I threw a dual party for them. Howard cried when we sang Happy Birthday. I told him if he lived to a 100, we were coming to Texas.
• After Betty died, he came to dinner once or twice a week. He always brought a bottle of chilled white wine. 
• A couple of times, we went to his house and attempted to teach him to cook some of his favorite foods. He eventually gave up on that moved in a female friend. He was worried about how we would take it, which cracked us up.
• In Texas, he had another female friend. They went on a cruise together, and he told me they had separate cabins because she was a "good gal." 
• Howard was one of the few people still in my life who knew my father. He attended my FIL's funeral and my mother's memorial service.

• The first dog Howard got scratched Betty, so he returned her because he told the breeder he had "a little girl next door." His second dog was Penny, and when she died, he got Nickel, aka Nikki.
• When Nikki escaped, Howard knew to come to my house. He always came to the front door and peeked in like a kid asking to play with the neighbor. Elliot really missed him when they moved.
• He was not a Steelers fan but he'd pretend he was for me. He always yelled, "Go Steelers" when he'd see me during football season, and later after his move, he'd text it to me every Sunday.
• One year for Darcy's birthday party, we had a detective theme. Darcy's pinata had been stolen, and they had to find the culprit. It was a hunt where they had clues that led them to the next object with another clue. Each object had a letter, and they had to unscramble all of them to find the answer. It spelled Howard. He was so excited to be a part of it that he went out and bought himself a disguise!

• Howard loved his daughters. He talked to them all the time and would give us updates on their lives. He always gave all the credit for how they turned out to Betty. 
• Howard was a sailor. He sold his boat not long after we moved into the neighborhood. I always forgot that he was as much of a water person as I was.
• I've lost count of the things Howard helped us build, repair, or maintain. 
• Howard was very tech-savvy. He mastered computers, the iPhone, and the iPad. When he needed help, he called Tom. He piggy-backed off our wifi for years, and he and Tom would laugh when I'd get worried we'd all get in trouble.
• We always hid our Santa gifts in Howard's house.
• The last time we Facetimed him, we were joyful for the entire day. That's how he made people feel. His happiness was contagious. We were also just thrilled that he acted and sounded just like Howard.

• Howard told great stories, and he was an excellent listener.
• He offered to teach me how to play bridge after I told him I wasn't getting anywhere learning from a book Tom got me. I told him that despite being a card shark, that game was just beyond my capabilities. He never believed that.
• When I decided I should learn to sew, Howard lent me Betty's sewing machine while I mastered dresses for the girls.
• Once, he was hospitalized at the same time as his live-in friend. They were on different floors. I hopped back and forth between them as their communicator.
• Howard was gentle, kind, and sweet. Everyone loved him. You couldn't help it. Many times when I'm annoyed, I think, how would Howard handle this? When I told him that, he scoffed and laughed. "Well, I don't know about that, Cara. I'm just an old man with none of the answers."
• He loved the theater, had season tickets to our local group, and he always wanted to attend the shows my MIL worked on. 
• He also attended productions and sporting events that the girls participated in. He was a great cheerleader to many.
• We still call the house next door Howard's house. 

The day he moved was one of the worst days in our lives. I knew when I hugged him that I wouldn't see him again. Our family mourned for weeks. Just knowing he is gone and unreachable will be hard. I'd come to rely on those short text exchanges--a little everything is all right in the world because Howard is still in it.

After Tom processed the news of Howard's death, he told me he'd liked knowing that Howard was out there in Texas, and he'd wished he could just keep thinking that. 

He was a wonderful man. His heart was big enough to fit everyone he met in there. A rare gem in a world that is topsy-turvy. He was 95% positive and 5% thoughtful when he was down, always working to turn his frown upside down. I'm a better person for having known him. He will be missed more than he ever expected. 

Spring Break 2021 - blueberry picking

Tom found a new blueberry farm. He's been twice, and since Darcy and Oleg are on Spring Break, he thought it would be a great family outing. One he thought of spur-of-the-moment, pulling us from our beds on a Sunday morning. 

Maddy didn't play along. She stayed in bed. It was hot. We didn't get there until a little before eleven. We started off in the blackberries, and I was unimpressed. We have better blackberry bushes at our farm in Indiana--except those come with chiggers. These were mostly picked over. Tom and Oleg ate more than they put in their buckets.

The blueberry bushes were smaller than the ones at the other farm. They, too, were picked over, but we managed to pick six pounds. Tom made a blueberry crumble with half of them. He tweaked my recipe and left out half the amount of sugar. Darcy put it in the category of his spaghetti with melted American cheese--in the trash.

Still, it was fun to be outdoors doing something different. I'm thinking maybe we should plant our own blueberry crop for next year since I have zero pineapples blooming. 

Second Vaccine - check

I got my second shot yesterday. It's a great feeling! My arm did not hurt like it did on the first one, and I worried that maybe the pharmacist hadn't even put anything into me. Then I worried something was wrong with me. And then I grew concerned that I'd have a reaction. Yep, typical Cara Worry-Wart.

My arm started hurting about four hours later. I was relieved. It's a good pain.

I did not have a reaction. Tom did. He felt exhausted and chilled. He went right to bed and was fine in the morning. I had heard other people's stories, but I decided since Darcy was fine with her second dose, I would be too. Until I wasn't.

But I was fine.

Here's hoping we get longer than six months out of it!

Spring Break 2021 - USF

Darcy and Oleg are here for Spring Break. It was pushed back to three weeks before school finishes because the university was smart. They don't want these kids coming back to school. Everything from here on out is online.

They aren't sure what they will do while they are home, but Darcy is vaccinated, and Oleg gets his second dose this week. Mostly, I'm making them play cards with me. In between my writing. I'm on a deadline.

Easter 2021

Easter snuck up on me. I thought it was later in April for some reason. Since our family was vaccinated either fully or partially, I decided it was time to throw a celebration. I am not Betty Crocker, nor am I Martha Stewart, but darn it, this Easter was a joyous, delicious, and festive day.

Mostly because we hadn't done anything this exciting in a year.

I actually got out my Easter decorations and used the tablecloth I'd received on my trip to Pennsylvania before COVID. I planned the menu and did the cooking--what there was of it. My niece helped in the kitchen, and she deserves the credit for the table set-up. My BIL was here from CA. Darcy and Oleg were not.

Dinner was buffet-style and eaten outdoors. Between the appetizers and dinner, we had an Easter egg hunt. The adults were hesitant to get started, but they got into it after spying eggs. Everyone raced to find the golden egg. My MIL was right on top of it, but she got beaten to it by my niece. It was taped to the bottom of a chair. Brea won the prize! It was a game we played after dinner. I won!

I'm hopeful our year will have much more celebrations. People! Get vaccinated! Help the cause!

First shot - check

I got my first Pfizer vaccine today. I was nervous. Worried. Elated. 

It was nothing yet it was everything. When I sat in the waiting chair for my allotted fifteen minutes of making sure I had no reaction, I cried silently and wiped the tears on my shirt.

No one around me seemed to notice. Nor did they express emotions publically. 

Whatever.

I'm one shot in!  

Quarantine - one year

It's too bad our Wyndham trip was the week before because then I could have said I'd come full circle. I missed that by a few days. Last year on the 13th of March, we headed off to Orlando for a week of Spring Break fun in the sun. 

We all know how that turned out.

It's been a year! How crazy is that? Even as I type it, I'm all what? How can that be? But it is no lie. One year in a pandemic stuck mainly quarantined in my house. I should have something profound to say. I don't. Instead, I've made a list of the ten things I've learned while tethered to my home base.

1. Children may get older, but once they cross the threshold of their childhood home, they revert age-wise at least ten years.
2. My husband is quite the handyman. Or at least he knows how to find one.
3. How quickly we go through personal hygiene products.
4. I don't need a gym membership to stay fit.
5. My pool is a haven.
6. How wonderful it is to have the technology we have, including Facetiming and Zoom.
7. People are very judgemental, opinionated, and stupid.
8. Routine is important, but it can also lure one into a rut.
9. Patience
10. The NFL and the post office continue on through the rain, sleet, snow, and COVID.

And the ten things I enjoyed by being homebound.

1. Extra time spent with my children.
2. Working on my MIL's memoirs.
3. Meeting new neighbors.
4. Getting to know the people in my writing group.
5. Having someone else in my house do the cooking.
6. Shopping on Amazon.
7. Getting out of the house.
8. Grocery shopping online.
9. Completing projects.
10. The NFL season through the first eleven weeks.

Both our children were vaccinated this week. One is a teacher. One is considered an essential worker because she works with the deaf community. One got a two-shot vaccine. The other got the one shot. One had a reaction. One did not. 

Next week, Tom's age group will be next for the vaccine. My group shouldn't be far behind.

For my family, we made it through with minimal damage. Not everyone was as fortunate. Here's hoping that by this time next year, this pandemic will be but a chapter in the history books, everyone will be vaccinated, families will be reunited, and we'll all be healthy and smiling! 

Sappy?

Hell yeah!

This past weekend, Tom, Darcy, Oleg, and I headed south. Oleg will be working in south Florida after graduation, and Darcy had to take a certification exam in Ft. Lauderdale, so we killed two birds with one stone. Apartment hunting for Oleg and Darcy's test.

Before we left, I experienced a week of anxiety--more than my normal worrying before a trip. I told a few people I thought I had developed arachnophobia during this whole COVID pandemic, what with barely leaving my house and all.

Darcy: "Because leaving the house means you'll encounter spiders?

Oops. Agoraphobia! The anxiety built to such a level I had heart palpitations, extreme crying fits, and some very tense moments. My peeps talked me off the ledge enough that by the time we left, I was stable.

Getting away was the best thing! It's not that I've avoided places. I shop for groceries. I go into my library. I've had numerous doctor appointments. But leaving home and traveling gave me the confidence I've lost in this whole ordeal.

It was a four-hour drive, and we stopped at Publix grocery stores for bathroom breaks, except for the time Tom stopped at a sketchy gas station. It was one of those places where the restrooms are outside, and one has to procure a key from the proprietor inside. It was smelly, a bit worn, but there was soap! Oleg and I were the only ones who used it, while Tom got gas. 

Tom: "My debit card was denied twice until finally, the bank texted me, asking if this was me using the card."

Me: "I'm not surprised. Could you not have found a better station?"

Darcy: "And why are you using your debit card? Why wouldn't you use our Discover?"

Tom: (a bit angrily) "Because my debit card has never been hacked while the Discover is compromised practically every month!"

We stayed at one of my Wyndham's in Pompano Beach. I've been there four times, and knowing what to expect was also a plus. We figured it was halfway between the city where Oleg would eventually call home and where Darcy had to take her test. Tom, who rarely drives my van, but who seems to always rub my back tire when making a right-hand turn, kept parking too close to the concrete bumper in lots. When he did this at our arrival at the Wyndham, we knew it wasn't good from the sound. Oleg ducked down and discovered something had torn loose from under the van. Tom was not concerned.

Thursday, we shopped for apartments. Only one complex was COVID serious, although the others did wear masks. The apartments were nice sizes and had friendly staff. The outsides of all of them were worthy of entrants in a gardening competition. They were, however, EXPENSIVE. This town is tourist central and BIG MONEY. 

At lunchtime, Darcy asked to be dropped off somewhere to study. Since Oleg had a lunch appointment with a realtor, Darcy and I stayed outside at a Panera Bread restaurant. Tom took Oleg to meet with the lady who'd given us the apartment suggestions, and then he had the van fixed.

By the time we slogged back to our Wyndham in rush hour traffic, we were all tired. I hit the Wyndham bar where masked karaoke was just getting started and ordered a rum runner to go. We got take-out and ended the night reading and talking.

Friday, Darcy and I walked. She practiced for her test while I wrote in my head. Our walk around the lake veered off before we made it halfway around the lake, and we ended up walking around all sorts of various waterways and sidewalks until we gave up and turned back the way we had come. 

Best news? We discovered that the exam site was three miles from our Wyndham. We did a trial run, got lunch, and then took Darcy back to take her test. That night we purchased a bottle of liquor and made our own drinks.

Sunday, we stopped on our way home to visit a house where a woman was looking for a tenant. She gave us her first name, took us through her home upstairs to the room, gave some details, and shooed us out because she had to get to work. An hour later, with our keen observations and superior investigative skills, we knew everything there was to know about this woman, including viewing her mug shots. Oleg will not be living there.

We returned home to a happy dog and an even happier Madison who'd been chored with taking care of said dog. We unloaded, told our stories, and sat down to relax. Madison left to pick up food. She called us ten minutes later to tell us something was wrong with her car. Ten minutes after that, Darcy called to tell us something was wrong with her car. Ten minutes after that? Tom discovered his debit card had been hacked.

See, why I have anxiety?

Resolution 2021 two month check-in

Every two months, I check in to see how I'm doing on my New Year's resolutions. I give myself a score between 1-10 with the hopes that I'm perfect by the end of the year. 

Let's check-in (2 months):

•  To be like 2020 Rebel Wilson and make this year a focus on health - Okay, no specific settings for this, and I'm not where I thought I'd be in this category at this time, but I've started walking twice a day, three miles a day, Monday thru Friday. That's a start, right? Score: 4

• To eat breakfast before I drink my morning coffee - Yes! I have done this faithfully every damn morning! Score: 10

• To think of three positive, happy, uplifting things for every negative thought that runs into my head - Yes! The great thing is that since I began doing this, my negative thoughts are less frequent too.  Score: 10

• To edit book one and complete book two in all phases and attempt to publish. - Okay, this is a big one with multiple tiers. I am editing book two. My cousin Maya helped with several chapters, and I am part of an RWA program where I have a published mentor helping me. I work daily. No kidding. I've created my author Twitter and Facebook page, which counts too in my attempt to publish because an author has to have a social media presence. Nothing, however, has happened with book 1. Jeez, I can't do it all in the first two months! Score: 5

• To continue down the path of completing past resolutions - Okay, not so much with this one, although I have edited my blog a few times these months. I'm 1-1 on the birthday gifts for January and February - sorry, Susan. Score: 1

• To learn Russian - Yes! Score: 10

Total Score: 40 out of 50 - I think this is the highest I've ever scored this early on! Whoot! Whoot! I'm pretty damn proud of that! Maybe for once, I've given myself realistic goals. Or, perhaps the pandemic and being quarantined has made me more determined? Who cares? Go, me!