The family recipe

Years ago we videotaped my grandfather telling stories about the family.  The thought was that we would have these stories to pass down to the next generations so they wouldn't be forgotten.  We keep saying we will do this with every elder, but it hasn't been something we have adhered to.  Keeping that in mind, while I was sitting with my Aunt Lorene at our reunion this year, I asked her to tell us how to make her famous chicken noodles.  She was unable to make them this year due to being wheelchair bound.  I told her that perhaps she should let Susan and me know how to make them so that we could carry on her tradition just in case....

I'm not sure, but I think she slightly hesitated.

Lorene:  Well, there is nothing to it.  I take eggs and flour...
Me:  How many eggs?
Lorene:  Well, that depends.  I take them and...
Me:  Hold on Aunt Lorene, let me get this down so that I can remember.
Lorene:  Well, there isn't much to remember honey.  I take eggs and some flour...
Me:  Wait, wait.  How much flour?
Lorene:  Well, that depends.
Me:  Well, how many eggs?
Lorene:  Well, that depends.
Susan:  On what?
Lorene:  On how many yellow eggs Kathy gives me.
Me:  Huh?  Yellow eggs?
Susan:  You mean yolks?
Lorene:  Uh huh, the yellow parts.
Me:  Okay, wait.  So you don't use eggs?  You use yolks?
Lorene:  That depends.
Me:  Oh, lordy.
Susan:  I don't think she wants to tell us her recipe.
Lorene:  Well, there's nothing to it honey.  I take eggs and flour.
Me:  Aunt Lorene, please.  I am not a cook, and maybe that is the reason why you don't want to give your recipe to me, but I have to have things in increments.  Am I using eggs or yolks?  And how many?
Lorene:  Well, that depends.
Me:  ON WHAT?
Lorene:  On how many people you're cooking for.
Susan:  Okay, let's say we are cooking for twenty people.
Me:  Twenty people?  When do we cook for twenty people?
Susan:  Let's just pretend.
Me:  Okay, okay, twenty people.
Lorene:  Oh, well, you would need a whole carton of eggs.
Me:  Eggs?  Or yolks?
Lorene:  Well, that depends.
Me:  Aunt Lorene, I'm so confused.  Why don't I use the whole egg?
Lorene:  I'm not sure why you aren't using the whole egg.  You can.
Me:  But you use the yolks.
Lorene:  I do if Kathy gives me some.
Me:  What if she doesn't give you yolks?
Lorene:  Well, see she doesn't use the yolks when she cooks.  She saves them for me.  If she doesn't have any then I use the whole egg.
Me:  Oh!  Oh, okay.  So I use a carton of eggs and how much flour.
Lorene:  As much as you need.
Me:  ?
Lorene:  And I mix that up...
Me:  With your hands?
Lorene:  Oh, sure.
Susan:  You wash them first though, right?  No, I'm kidding.
Lorene:  You mix that up and then you cut the noodles.
Susan:  Do you have a mold?
Lorene:  Oh, no I don't have a mold.
Susan:  Well, how do we cut them.
Lorene:  That depends.
Me:  How do YOU cut them, Aunt Lorene?
Lorene:  Oh, well I just roll the dough into a big roll and cut them in strips
Susan:  Do you dry them out then?
Lorene:  I do.  I dry them out and then...
Susan:  How long would you say you dry them out?
Lorene:  Oh, overnight.
Susan:  Where do you dry them out?  On your counter top?
Lorene:  Oh, no hon, I have a sheet.
Me:  A sheet?  A drying sheet?
Susan:  You mean to cover them?
Lorene:  No, no.  I have a sheet that I spread across my bed and dry them out that way.
Me:  Huh?  You put a sheet over your bed and then put the noodles on your bed?  Overnight?
Lorene:  Oh, sure.
Me:  Never mind, Aunt Lorene.  I think only you can make these noodles.  So get to exercising that leg and hip so that we can have noodles next year, because Susan and I do not have the right equipment to take over a job this big!
Lorene:  Oh, honey, there is nothing to it.
Me:  Huh!  That depends.