Email Funny

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Now, this is something my friend Sharon and I would have done about 15 years ago. If we had thought of it. Instead, we just chased down speeders and people we thought looked suspicious.


2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Hee hee...something to try on the old hubby.


3. In the memo field of your checks, write "For Marijuana". Well, I've never done that, but I've been known to write other things like "sex toys and drugs". Back in my youth, of course.


4. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat. It sounds like something I would do anyhow.


5. When going through the drive-thru window tell them your order is "to go". Again this sounds like me. I'm just going to add it to my list.


6. When the money comes out of the ATM machine, scream and yell, "I won! I won!" When the deli man calls my number to place my order I always yell, "Bingo!"


7. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot screaming, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" This sounds like something Sharon would do now.


8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso. It might be a fun thing to do if I lived in a dorm or something, but here at home, we drink decaf unless people named Susan visit.


9. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." Hmmm...my youngest would probably respond, "Go where?"


10. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, take it to the counter, and ask the sales clerk where the fitting room is. This is my favorite, and if I were a guy I would so do this one!