Computers r' us

Every day I hear someone gripe about computer problems. If it isn't my mother, it is the voice on the opposite end of the phone from a company I've called for one reason or another who can't take care of me because of computer issues. For me, a computer issue is something that happens to other people because, you see, I have the Computer Guru living in my house. If I have a computer question or something isn't working or I've lost something on my screen, I contact the Computer Guru and BAM I'm back in business. If it is something he needs to take care of personally, I just use another computer and go along with my business until he is home and has fixed the issue.

This summer after returning on vacation I didn't really use my computer. I had my sis-in-law with me and we were way too busy talking to play on the computer. Our daughters, however, did use my computer because it is the one that is hooked to a printer, and they were very busy downloading and printing pictures of Selena Gomez for wall hanging and scrapbooking. Somewhere in their downloading they picked up a virus that when I try to link to a page of a topic I've goggled I end up on another URL. Not a naughty, interesting URL, but one that is obscure and interested in selling me things like pet rocks and blue grass seed. At first I was just annoyed that my computer was taking me in the wrong direction and it never occurred to me there could be a problem. We don't have computer problems here and so I ignored it and managed to copy and paste the address and end up where I wanted to go. The Computer Guru was the one who noticed I had a virus and thus a computer issue.

Tom: "You have a virus."
Me: "Gee, I know I look terrible, but..."
Tom: "On your computer. You didn't know?"
Me: "I haven't even been on my computer."
Tom: "I did what I could, but it is only temporary. I'm not even sure it will work."
Me: "Now that you mention it I did notice something different the other day when I tried to find a coupon for the aquarium. It kept taking me to different sites."
Tom: "I thought you weren't on your computer."

He worked a bit more on my computer and now some protection program pops up every two seconds with a loud popping sound to tell me it has stopped IP1543&^3@8$@ from pulling up on my computer. I muted the sound and eventually learned to work around the pop up, but yesterday things were missing on my computer...like the "start" button. After I minimized something it just disappeared, and when I tried to link to soccer sites it took me to a site to buy antique grandfather clocks.

Me: "I think the protection on my computer is about dried up."
Tom: "I'm going to have to redo your entire computer. You should start writing down all the programs you want to keep."
Me: "I want them all."
Tom: "Just write down what you want because I'll have to reload everything and we don't have backups for some of it."
Me: "Is this one of those times where you work for days and hours on a computer?"
Tom: "It will be a lot of work.  Be prepared to be without a computer and programs if you don't write them down."
Me:  "Uh, I want them all."

Normally, I wouldn't be concerned other than he will be annoyed and grouchy and I'll have to relearn things he will put on the computer I didn't ask for, but unfortunately for me, I got talked into buying this for him for his birthday:

Good thing I have my Ipad.