Last week Tom got the call that the couches were in. Only they weren't "in" anywhere near our house. They were in the country and in Ft. Meyers which is nowhere near my city or my house, and apparently it would take another week to get them in the same vicinity of my living room. This was fine with us as it gives us time to spend on readying the rooms we need to ready in anticipation of our big couch day. And all that really meant was getting rid of the horrid couch in the Steelers room.
I paid $300 for that couch. When I decided to turn the "playroom" into a "Steelers room" I got rid of our flowered sofa bed and our wicker couch that was in the room at the time. I told Tom I would replace it with a black leather couch for "about $300".
Tom: "You aren't going to find a couch for $300."
He said that, but what I really heard was, "Are you nuts? No one sells couches for $300 and you aren't ever, in a million, trillion years going to find a couch for $300. Never, ever, never, ever. Not going to happen. You're an idiot."
In his defense he never said any of that, but I know he was thinking it and so it became a dare for me. I was determined I would find a brand new couch for that price. And I did. I saw an ad one Sunday with a black leather couch for exactly $300 and I called him and told him to meet me at the furniture place. The couch was actually vinyl, but it was nicely stitched and it was exactly what I wanted. Tom made me sit in several other couches over $1,000 and tried to talk me out of the $300 couch, but I was still hung up on my made up dare, and not wanting to listen to him mock me, I rejected that offer and got the cheap one.
It lasted five years. Since mostly my girls used the room, and therefore the couch, it didn't fair as well as my other couches. Darcy left her straightening iron on the vinyl and it began to bubble and peel. I never knew this at first because they were smart and turned the cushions over, but eventually the same thing happened to that side and when we left for Europe this past summer the two boys who spent considerable time on the couch finished the destruction of my $300 purchase. It began peeling and I'm sure it was like a sunburn peel to two young boys; something that they just had to pick at until there was nothing left of the black vinyl on the seats or on the backs. Darcy tried to fix it with black duct tape, but I wasn't having any of that. The couch hurt my neck more than the other two in the other room and so I wasn't too unhappy about seeing it go. I figured I would replace it when I did the other two, but my husband wasn't having any of that.
Tom: "There is nothing wrong with these two couches in here. We'll just move them into the Steelers room."
Me: "What? They're blue! That won't work in my Steelers room."
Madison: "Actually the Steelers logo has blue in it."
I ignored all of their nonsense and planned on new couches, but once we forked over the dough for the made in Italy couches I knew I was going to have to suck it up and have blue couches in my Steelers room. That left only one problem: how to get rid of the $300 couch. It wasn't something that could be donated. It needed to be trashed. I researched our garbage pickup and our county laws only to discover that we would have to pay a special hauling company to have the couch taken away. Which wasn't a problem for me. It was, however, for my
Tom: "What? I'm not paying to have that couch tossed out. I'll chop it into little pieces that will fit in the garbage."
Me: "Don't be ridiculous. You can't chop the couch into pieces. I'll slip the garbage guys $20."
Tom: "No, you won't! I'm going to chop up the couch. It'll be fine."
And so this Saturday he did just that.
I woke up to find the couch, which is a heavy son of a thing, out in our backyard. I got some coffee and sat on the porch to relax and watch this destruction, but when he came out with the shrub trimmers I knew this was a blog entry.
He gave up on the trimmers first and took out a hammer. He was very proud of the first piece of wood that "came off easily". From there he went back to the trimmers and cut off the back of the couch. Then he trimmed off the back of the pillows. His helper thought that this was just his owner needing some sun and he decided that was all right with him and planted himself where he always sits when Tom is on a couch.
The bottom of the couch was tackled next and it was about this time that I wandered back inside to eat breakfast. When I returned he had a pile of things he had found in the cushions and in the bottom of the couch. There was no remote, thank god.
It took awhile, but he did destroy the couch and cut it into pieces that fit into the garbage can. He was quite proud of himself for saving $20. And I'm proud of him too. So proud that I'm going to use that $20 toward new end tables and a coffee table.
No comments:
Post a Comment