It didn't happen at Walmart

Madison and I ran into Target recently to pick up some items for the high school end of the year picnic that I was organizing. While I was checking out Madison ran into the bathroom and ran into more than she had bargained. Here is her tale:

As I came around the corner to the restroom this little, old lady was trying desperately to push her Target cart into the restroom door. She was not having much luck, and because she reminded me of Grandma back in the day of trying to get into places with her wheelchair, I jumped in to help her. I offered to hold the door while she pushed the cart into the bathroom. She thanked me and told me that she had broken her back recently and that doing simple little things were not as easy since then. She pushed the cart past me into the bathroom, and I saw that all of her purchased items were hidden in the Target bags. The bags were all tied at the top and then tied to the sides of the cart.

Once in the bathroom she pushed her cart to the handicap stall, but it was occupied by a little boy and his mother and so she stood to wait. I went into the bathroom. I could hear the little boy talking to his mother so I knew it was a little kid in the handicap stall. When I finished and came out to wash my hands the little, old lady was still standing there. I washed my hands, and then feeling sorry for her, I offered to watch her cart while she went into one of the other stalls as the little kid and his mother seemed to be taking quite awhile. THAT was the wrong thing to ask.

Lady: "I know who is in that bathroom. I know who is in there. I recognize him from his voice."
Madison: "Oh?"
Lady: (whispering) "It's little Bobby Scott."
Madison: "Oh?"
Lady: "It's little Bobby Scott, twin of Richard Scott, nephew of Simon Scott, and son of John Scott."
Madison: "Oh. I see."
Lady: "No, you don't see, but I'll tell you. Little Bobby Scott is the son of John Scott, and John Scott is a kleptomaniac. I know this because he has stolen from me. He has my money. $65,000 of my money. He has it, and he stole it, and so I know who is in this bathroom. I never got it back. $65,000. I don't have it. He has it."
Madison: (nodding) (wide-eyed)
Lady: "And really I don't know why they have him working security. He works in security here at Target. I mean, a kleptomaniac working security. You can see how that can be a problem."
Madison: "Well, yes."
Lady: "Because he has all of the footage up there."

At this point she pointed to the sprinklers in the ceiling of the bathroom. There were two of them and she alternated between the two with her pointing and swiveling of her head as she eyed them suspiciously.

Lady: "He has all of the security feeds and with those he has, well, you know."

I had visions of this John Scott going into a rampage in a little booth with television cameras everywhere. I pictured him running around deleting the videos with all of the evidence on them of stuff that he had stolen.

Lady: "I mean, he is just everywhere; hiding and watching. I don't know who is in charge of this Target, but once I find out, and I will find out, I'm going to tell them they have a kleptomaniac working security who hides out in the women's bathroom."

The entire time she was looking from one sprinkler head to the other and then checking the bags that were tied to the sides of her carts. The little boy and his mother had gone silent in the handicap stall as if they could make themselves disappear as this woman continued talking VERY loudly in the bathroom. I realized that she wasn't the little, old Grandma lady I had originally envisioned, and I was wondering how I was going to escape as she got more and more erratic.

Madison: "Would you like me to watch your cart? I could do that and then you could go into another stall?"

She looked at me suspiciously, looked up at the sprinkler heads, looked back at me, and then smiled.

Lady: "I know what. I'll move the cart up to this stall, and I'll leave the door open so I can watch my cart."

And while she was muttering under her breath and moving her cart up to the stall, I turned around and tip toed out the door. I wasn't sure what I thought she was going to do with me, but I was a bit concerned she might recruit me for a super secret spy mission to recovering her $65,000. The exit never looked so good.