Yikes are we that old?

Currently:

Tom: "What was the quote again from that guy that emailed you? Do you remember?"
Me: "Are you kidding me? I about burned down our house this week. You can't expect me to remember that. You're going to have to keep a closer eye on me now."
Tom: "Yeah, well, I'm no better. I paid the wrong credit card bill."
Me: "Great! Who the hell is going to watch us both?"

Let me explain this - Rewind (Me):

I have been eating hard-boiled eggs for this diet I'm on and on Thursday I put six eggs in a pan of water and turned it on. Then I promptly went off to write and forgot all about them. Sometime later, and I have no idea how long, my smoke alarm in the kitchen sounded. It wasn't the normal house-on-fire-lone-shriek alarm but more battery-needs-changing short intermittent beeping so I kept on writing thinking I would get to it in a bit. The dog came out of the kitchen and stared at me. I told him I heard it and would get to it. He continued to stare at me until I looked up at which point he told me, "This needs attention NOW." So, I got up and went into the kitchen.

Which was full of smoke. My eyes immediately went to the stove. Who the hell turned that on, was my first thought when I saw the red lights, followed by, Oh, shit, the eggs!  The water was completely gone and the eggs, now hardboiled, were black. I pitched them, opened windows, flipped on the ceiling fan, and removed the battery from the smoke alarm because it wouldn't stop its incessant beeping. Then, instead of imagining all of the worst case scenarios regarding my stupidity as I'm known to do, I returned to my writing. Because damn it, I was on a roll. But I did alert the husband to the fact that his wife might be needing some extra attention.

Rewind (Him):

Discover has a great credit program for college kids and so my youngest signed up. My husband went over ownership of a credit card and then showed her online, with his account, how to pay her bill. She set it up on her phone and was good to go. A month or so later she wanted to know why she had a $2,000 credit on her card. Apparently, when paying our Discover card bill the husband had accidentally paid Darcy's. He did the same thing again this month.

Currently:
Darcy: "Jeez, mom tries to burn down the house and dad can't remember his Discover card number."
Me: "That means you're going to have to keep one eye on me and one on your father."
Darcy: "I might keep both eyes on you and then reap the rewards of Dad's forgetfulness. I could use a $2,000 credit."