And so it goes....on and on and on

For nine weeks I have had diarrhea with a few days reprieve in between.  I have seen three different doctors and been on five different medications.  The last doctor, a gastroenterologist, gave me two medications to fight traveler's diarrhea and giardia and scheduled me for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy.  The medicine seemed to be working the last three days before my procedures.  Then, of course, I had to "prep" for the colonoscopy and my reprieve went straight to hell.

I've done this before.  Nine years ago I had to have a colonoscopy because I was experiencing some rectal bleeding (if this is more than you can bare then feel free to move on now, but really people you might learn something) after two months of having the same issues I've had this year.  The results came back and I got to view the beautiful pictures of my 12 internal hemorrhoids caused by the giardia I was finally diagnosed with.  The last time I had the procedure was the day after Easter.  I had to prepare on Easter while the rest of the family was enjoying a nice lamb (ugh, gag) dinner at my mother-in-law's house.  The "prep" then consisted of several pills and the downing of a carbonated liquid.  I don't quite remember the liquid as being that awful.

This time; however, the "prep" came in a large box called moviprep.  A clever little wording for those in the know, I guess, but that was as far as the humor went because this stuff was the worst liquid I have ever let past my lips.  There were two packets, A and B, and a nice handy container with a lid.  The directions said to open packet A and pour into the container, then open packet B and pour into the container, and then fill to the fill line with lukewarm water.  Now my gastroenterologist had told me beforehand that I could mix this stuff with anything; lemonade, iced tea, sprite, but the directions on the sheet from her office and from the moviprep box clearly stated lukewarm water.  I followed the written directions because I (rightly as I found out later) assumed my gastroenterologist had never had a colonoscopy before and therefore didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

After shaking the concoction I was to pour 8 ounces of it into a glass (oz. lines provided on the container) and drink it down.  I was to do this every 15 minutes through the hour.  Then I was to drink two more glasses of any liquid I chose such as water, gatorade, lemonade, or tea.  I figured this would be a breeze.  I down water all the time.  The concoction smelled like Sprite, not a favorite of mine, but still better than smelling like ass.  I held my nose and started to down the contents in the glass.  Only problem was the consistency was like salt water.  Not water, but salt water.  Like drinking the Gulf of Mexico, only it tasted like Sprite that had been left out of the refrigerator with the lid not closed tightly.  I could not down it.  I could only take two gulps and then chase it down with water or real Sprite.  It took me 10 minutes to drink it.  That left me with 5 minutes of dread.  I kept reminding myself I was a warrior, to take one for the team.  By the fourth go-round I was on the toilet.  Surely they didn't expect you to bring that drink into the bathroom!  It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get through the "prep".  It took another hour and a half to get the "prep" through me.

That would have been fine, but unfortunately, I had to do the entire thing all over again at 6:00 AM the next morning.  That did not go well.  I'm not one to get up in the morning and start eating and drinking, let alone get up at 6:00 AM.  I did so much gagging on this stuff that I was sure it was going to come heaving back up all over the kitchen floor or on to the couch where I moved just to get a different view.  The warrior speech kept playing in my head and I tried channeling my father to get this stuff down.  By the time I was done with the entire procedure it was 8:30 AM and I worried I was past my allotted time for getting anesthesia.  So then I worried about vomiting while under anesthesia during the endoscopy.

The procedures were scheduled for 12:30 and 1:00 PM.  I was bedded and ready by 12:30, but wasn't wheeled in until 1:50 PM. I read a People magazine and the latest Sports Illustrated and chatted up the nurses that wandered by.  I listened in on the anesthesiologist's cell phone conversation and eavesdropped into the gossip of two nurses.  By the time I was wheeled into the procedure room I was ready and raring to go.  I joked around with the doctor and the nurses as they ran around putting sticky snaps on my chest and then I was told to turn on to my left side.  A plastic piece was put into my mouth and the nurse told me good-night they would see me when I woke up.  I thought, "Hmpf! Right. I won't be falling that easily."  I closed my eyes and felt a tad woozy.  I opened them and saw that the monitors were moving in waves before my eyes.  I closed my eyes again and the next time I opened them I was in recovery.  Good stuff that anesthesiologist carts around.

So far all I've found out is:

• I have a hiatal hernia
• I have reflux
• I have some diverticulitis and diverticulosis
• I have a little bit of colitis
• I had two polyps that were removed and sent off for a biopsy.  She didn't like the looks of them.
• Everything else inside was sent off for all sorts of testing.
• I am to remain on one of the medications and add prilosec to my daily regime of medications
• I am to return to see the gastro lady in a week and a half for all of the results

It has been a trying summer what with this illness, the death of a friend, and the loss of another friend to another country.  I've gotten a tad weepy thinking back on these last 2 months, but I'm determined to let it go, to stand up straight and move forward.  Lots of things have been put on the back burner while I've been ill, but now I shall work hard at getting back on task.  I'm thankful for the health I do have and for the health of my family and friends. I'm going to make sure that I reduce my stress level this school year, unfortunately not with liquor as that is a nasty side affect for those with hiatal hernias, but with exercise and a new diet.  I've gotten a jump on things with the loss of 15 lbs. (the only silver lining in the diarrhea) and I think I'll start introducing more organic foods into our diet.  I'm looking at it as a new experience.  One that I will jump into with a positive attitude.  I'm hoping it will at least last as long as this diarrhea has.  And so it goes....