Thursday, July 05, 2012

What will it be?

When I attend my family reunion each summer my husband, taking advantage of my absence, purchases something. Sometimes it is big (refrigerator) and sometimes it is small (stripes on my car), but usually it is something. One summer while checking in with him via telephone, he casually asked what I thought about having a white van. Because he mentioned it to me before purchasing, I was able to put my foot down. This summer he has started mentioning items before I've left.

Tom: (on phone) "Guess where I am?"
Me: "Victoria Secrets?"
Tom: "Home Depot. I'm looking at carpeting."

Now carpeting has been high on my list of home improvements since before we got the dog. After two children, numerous children friends, and a dog all peeing and pooping and spitting up on it, the time has come to replace it. It isn't high, however, on Tom's list. He has things not even on my list placed higher than carpet so I spend every few weeks coming up with ways to raise it. My newest weapon has been to put it in his head that the nasty, filth in the carpet is causing the dog's allergy. (Hey! It could be; don't judge.) So far he has alluded my attempts, but now that I'm getting ready to head out of town his mind is searching for something to spend money on and somehow (he does love that dog) he lit on new carpeting.

Tom: "I thought while you were away would be a good time to replace the carpets."
Me: "Uh...while I'm gone?"
Tom: "That way no one will be here. What color were you thinking? Blue? Yellow?"

Yes! Yes, new carpeting is like jewelry on my wrists and fingers, but not with him doing the choosing and me not being around while it is installed. I made it clear that this was not something I was onboard with and he hemmed and hawed, telling me they weren't busy and I could pick it out before I left if I didn't want him to do it. I tried to explain that I wanted to be around while my furniture would be moved and my belongings picked over.

Me: "Can't we just do it in August after the kids go back to school?"
Tom: "Why? I can have a guy out to measure this week."

I got a bit frantic, and he got the message and left Home Depot. A few days later TS Debby came through flooding areas and Tom made the comment that now we wouldn't be able to get carpeting in August because they would all be too busy. That is my other problem: get things when Tom wants them because otherwise...

A few days later he announced that while we were gone he was planning on replacing the fan in Madison's room. Several months prior the roof had leaked through her ceiling fan into her room, and while the fan still works, it only works semi-quietly on one speed. Madison asked him not to do that while she was gone. Apparently the two of them had done some fan shopping already and his choices were not her choices. She asked him to wait until she could pick out a fan, but none of us believed him when he just smiled.

Luckily, on Sunday all of us got saved. Madison and I had spent over an hour on our hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen grout with toothbrushes and the tile with rags. Every time I clean the floor something gets ends up getting spilled or broken afterward, and this day was no exception. A few hours later while Darcy was at the kitchen sink she realized she was standing in water. Upon inspection we discovered that the kitchen faucet, another purchase made while I was out of town, was leaking.

Tom crawled under the sink griping and groaning. The faucet, a source of irritation since we got it (wrong color, leaky, sprayer issues), had popped the clamp that held the sprinkler and faucet tubes together. He worked for about 45 minutes until he finally gave up, declaring the faucet a "piece of shit".

Tom: "I'll get a new one tomorrow. What color do you want? Stainless?"
Me: "Well...are we planning on replacing the sink?"
Tom: "Not tomorrow."
Me: "I'm just thinking that I want to replace the sink with a stainless one and then a stainless faucet."
Tom: "I'm not replacing the sink until I replace the countertops and you said you wanted carpeting before I did that. So what color faucet?"
Me: "White. Our sink is white."
Tom: "I'm not sure they have that, but I'll look. You sure you don't want stainless?"

Yes. Yes, I would like stainless, but not on a white sink which is what he bought when I was on vacation to replace the first broken faucet (which was white to match the sink). But he listened, found me a white faucet, and put it in last night. It is beautiful with a built in sprayer and there are no leaky drips after you turn it off. And better yet he griped about the cost enough that it makes me think he might hold off on any purchases while I'm away. We hope...

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