The other shoe

The second article in this high school paper written for students excerpt in our newspaper was an article titled, Things we don't understand about our parents, written by Chloe Beaver.  I read it hoping to gain some insight, wondering what in the world it is that I do that my kids don't get.

1. Parents have to be on time to everything - Hmmm...we learned back when we were teens with jobs that we were paid for to support our cars, social activities, etc. that if you weren't on time you had no job.  Having no job translated to having no money, which translated to having none of the things that we craved like independence from our parents.
2. Parents want us to play our music at a certain volume - Hey, when we aren't around blare your music as loud as you want.  That's what I do when you aren't in my car.  But when I'm trying to watch television or read or sleep I can't do that when you're playing your music too loud.  Isn't that why your generation spends $200 on Beats by dre?
3. Why parents have to plan their social lives far in advance - Because we are so busy running you here and there and watching you in one activity after another that we need to plan in advance to make sure you get where you need to be.  We are selfless like that.
4. Parents always have to eat a healthy breakfast and want us to do the same - Yeah, well, that isn't me.  I prefer a sugary donut over oatmeal and would sooner go out and eat pancakes then stay at home and eat cereal.  Plus, I hate eating when I first get up in the morning.  I let my kids decide that one except when I do feel they need to eat before going somewhere where they might not get food.
5. Parents always make their beds - Yep.  This one I do.  I have done this since I was a little girl and my parents made me make my bed.  My dad was a Marine and sometimes he would do the old "bounce a quarter on the bed" for "fun".  It became my OCD.  For the most part I keep it up, but there are a few times I forget or let it go.  This morning in fact!  My husband, however, hates it and will make the bed every time that he sees it isn't made.  Although, his idea of making a bed isn't what I would call making a bed.
6. Parents don't text - Really?  There are parents out there that don't text?  Not here in my household.  Love texting.  Keeps me in touch with others quickly and easily.
7. Sometimes it seems like parents never sleep - Again, not in my house.  I take a nap almost every other day and friends know not to call before 10:00 on the weekends.  Even my husband naps on the weekends.  Although my kids would probably say their dad doesn't like them sleeping late.
8. A parent's best argument is "because I said so!" - Oh, no.  I have an argument for almost everything.  I only pull out that "because I said so" when I think my kids arguments are better than mine.  And I punctuate it with, "I waited a long time to be the parent to say that and boss kids around."
9. The house has to be clean before a friend comes over - Yeah, well it does.  People come into a house and judge you on cleanliness.  I know I do.
10. Parents complain about the teen generation - I don't think I complain about it.  I feel sorry sometimes for this generation in that they didn't get the kind of great childhood I did where you could run free in your neighborhood inventing games and using items you found on the ground to play those games.  But I also think they have a lot of cool things like a computer that make life easier than it was in my teen days.

My kids responses to these:

Parents have to be on time to everything. 
Madison - "I understand why you have to be on time for things.  I just don't understand why you freak out when we aren't on time."
Darcy:  "I'm always on time.  It's Dad who isn't on time."

Parents want us to play our music at a certain volume.
Madison:  "Really?  She doesn't understand this?"
Darcy:  "You play your music loud sometimes."

Why parents have to plan their social lives far in advance.
Madison:  "It is good to plan in advance."
Darcy:  "We all do that.  We have to."

Parents always have to eat a healthy breakfast and want us to do the same.
Madison:  "You don't eat a healthy breakfast."
Darcy:  "YOU don't eat a healthy breakfast!"

Parents always make their beds.
Madison:  "That one is true, but you've told me why you do it.  But we shouldn't have to do it."
Darcy:  "Yeah! I don't like doing that."

Parents don't text.
Madison:  "What?  Really?  You text more than I do."
Darcy:  "You text all the time."

Seems like parents never sleep
Madison:  "Uh, you sleep."
Darcy:  "You sleep more than I do!"

A parent's best argument is "Because I said so!"
Madison:  "I don't think you say that.  I don't like the author's snotty attitude on this one."
Darcy:  "Sometimes you say that."

Parents want the house clean before a friend comes over
Madison:  "Yeah, you always want that.  It's silly."
Me:  "But you are only saying that because you don't want to have to clean."
Madison:  "Well, no one likes cleaning!"
Darcy:  "Yeah, this one is true."

Parents complain about the teen generation
Madison:  "No, I don't think you do that."
Darcy:  "Why are you making me answer these questions?"

I then asked them each what things they didn't understand about parents.

Madison:  "Why you freak out over being late."
Darcy:  "I don't know."
Madison:  "Your obsession with rearranging bedrooms."
Darcy:  "Why do I have to do this?"
Madison:  "Why I'm having to answer these questions when I'm trying to do my homework.  I'm under a lot of pressure, you know!"

From the teens' eyes

I decided after my blog entry yesterday to run the list of things parents don't understand by both of my daughters to get their opinions.  Here were their responses:

Teens are obsessed with Facebook
Madison:  "What?  You are more obsessed with Facebook than I am!"
Darcy:  "I don't have Facebook."

Teens have as much work as adults what with school and all
Madison:  "I think you understand that."
Darcy:  "I kind of think you understand that."

Teens don't care that their rooms are messy
Madison:  "My room isn't messy really.  But then I can't stand when my room is messy either.  It bothers me."
Darcy:  "That is very true and you don't understand that."
Me:  "I understand it.  I just don't care.  Clean your room...because I said so!" (see tomorrow's entry)

It is necessary that teens have smartphones
Madison:  "I don't think that is necessary."
Darcy:  "I don't think that is necessary."

That it is possible to socialize on video games.
Madison:  "You play more games than I do."
Darcy:  "You can socialize on video games, but I don't."

Teens music choices
Madison:  "What? You listen to that kind of music!  I don't."
Darcy:  "You listen to the same music that I do!"

Teens sometimes need to be alone
Madison:  "Okay, but I think you understand that.  You use to be a teen too."
Darcy:  "Um, o-k-a-y.  You get that."

Why they don't tell us "what's happenin'"
Madison:  "You get that, but we tell you stuff."
Darcy:  "I tell you everything!"

Teens vocabulary
Madison:  "That's one you have trouble with, but you like learning."
Darcy:  "Yeah, you aren't so great with the texting language."

Teens have a ton of pressure
Madison:  "So do parents.  You understand that."
Darcy:  "Yeah! Teens have a lot of pressure.  But I don't like this "understand" idea.  I think you understand all of this."

Our parents just might have known it all

As a mother I am finding out, especially as I age, that I am more like my own parents then I swore I would be.  There are moments when I'm explaining myself and listening to my daughters explain themselves that I experience deja vu, only this time my role is reversed.  I am able to see this and to apologize to my mother, but I also like to think that I am more open and "hip" with my girls then I think our parents were with us.

My theory was tested yesterday when I read a section of our newspaper written by high school students.  There were two articles written by two different teens that caught my eye.  The first article was, Things our parents don't understand about us, written by Alexa Beaulieu.  I read the article to see the things I supposedly didn't understand about my teens.

1. Teens are obsessed with Facebook - Hell, yes, there are days that I'm obsessed with Facebook.  And I've got to tell you this...my teens don't get that.  My oldest has Facebook and my youngest doesn't and for the most part neither care one way or the other. 
2. Teens have as much work as adults what with school and all - Yep, I am in tune with that one and I agree with the statement.  My oldest gets up at 5:30 in the morning, starts school by 7:00 am, and doesn't finish up her day until midnight sometimes so I know that her work life is just as hard as her father's and mine.
3. Teens don't care that their rooms are messy - According to the article, parents telling them to clean their rooms bothers them more than having a messy room.  While I understand this I don't give a damn.  My house is one story and I have to pass by my eldest daughter's room every time I walk to the bathroom or to my own room.  She isn't a slob, but she doesn't make her bed and her laundry is smelly and piles up.  The other daughter is a down right slob and sometimes I can't even walk into her room without injuring myself.  And that is why I tell her to clean her room.
4. It is necessary that teens have smartphones - I agree with this one. My husband made me get one myself, like he made me get Facebook and Twitter, because this is the way the world is heading.  Both my kids have smartphones.  Understand.
5. That it is possible to socialize on video games - Well, my kids don't play or socialize on video games, but I see other kids do it, and again I understand it as just like the smartphones and Facebook it is the way the world is changing.
6. Teens music choices; yes, they like rap - I listen to all types of music, including rap.  In fact since watching American Idol this season my new girl is Nikki Minaj, and Flo-rida has always been my man so I guess I understand that teens like it too.  Although, honestly, my kids don't listen to rap.
7. Teens sometimes need to be alone - Don't we all?  Check.
8. Why they don't tell us "what's happenin' " - Funny thing about this article is that while the author understands that parents were once teens too, she doesn't really understand that.  She can't until she is my age and trying to explain it to her teen.  I understand this one way more than my teens know.
9. Teens vocabulary - She may have me on this one as I don't know the teen language of most.  I know my own teens vocabulary fairly well, and I'm getting pretty knowledgeable on the texting lingo.
10. Teens have a ton of pressure - Yes, I understand this one.  My teen years and prior were way more laid back and relaxed.  We didn't need to have our career choice planned out before high school.  We were actually given a chance to be kids.  Sucks to be a teen today in a lot of pressure filled ways.

Perhaps this author should have asked her parents what they don't understand about teens instead of assuming.  While she might not like her parents griping about cleaning and music and video games, they aren't doing it because they don't understand.  My list of things I don't understand would be more along the lines of:

1. Why teen males wear pants three times their size? - They don't fit.  They fall and sag so far down that they throw off their gait and everyone can see their underwear.  Don't get it.
2. Why can't my teen roll out of bed in the morning when her alarm goes off? - Okay, so she sleeps hard.  Well, why doesn't she roll out after I come in and wake her....five times?  Don't get it.
3. Why do teens have to be so disrespectful? - Run into quite a few sullen, mouthy teens while I'm out and about.  Have had some of my teenagers friends spout off some crap to me that was inappropriate in my thinking.  Don't get it.
4. Why can't my youngest put her personal stuff away? - Already posted this one on here.  Don't get it.  As a teen I wanted my stuff in my own space and not where my parents could get a hold of it.
5. Why do my teens like showering in a moldy tub? - Yes, I understand they don't want to have to clean and this goes along with the messy bedroom theory, but I don't get enjoying filth.

I'm relieved to see that I understand most of the things that teens think I don't understand.  I think the list is more what the author doesn't like being questioned about more than a lack of understanding.  The bottom line is that we have gone through most of these teen angst issues with some variations and we know how things turn out.  We know that things on Facebook can lead to problems such as expulsions from school.  We know that someday you might have to live with and share a room with another person who might resent sloppiness.  We know that while you enjoy your smartphone the thing costs money.  We also know that while you say you won't be like we are when you are parents that is not the way it ends up.  Unfortunately, our parents and your parents just might have been...well, right about a lot of things.

I am a neighbor

Not long after Madison was born we were attending a party in the neighborhood and I got roped into joining the board of our Homeowner's Association.  I had only volunteered to write the monthly newsletter, but somehow ended up as the treasurer, but as the other members on the board were as laid back as I was it became a meeting I looked forward to each month, especially as it got me out of the house.  There were seven of us on the board and we were very relaxed in our standards.  The bylaws were very archaic, having been written in the early 60's, and when I suggested rewriting them to update them everyone pooh poohed that because we needed a majority vote of a certain percent and since only one or two people showed up at our annual meetings everyone figured it would never get passed.  We spent the next several years keeping the status quo, going after homeowners only when another homeowner complained.  We had one man who rode the neighborhood on his bike each month writing down violations to the bylaws and sending them to us by our monthly meeting.  They were things like a hedge was over 6 feet tall, grass was too high, a trailer was parked past the allotted amount of days, etc.  Whomever was in charge of that violation would talk to the homeowner and hopefully it was resolved.  We never sued anyone despite having a lawyer on retainer.

As treasurer it was my job to make sure everyone paid the yearly dues of $30.  That's it.  Thirty dollars a year.  I was horrified to discover that quite a few people did not cough up the thirty dollars and I made it my mission to rectify this problem.  By the time I left my position I had gotten us a nice little tidy sum of back dues and had about three fourths of the 450 homes paying their dues each year.  One of the real problems I faced was when a property was sold.  We were not notified when a new homeowner moved in.  We had one board member who would scour the paper each Sunday and write down homes in our neighborhood that had sold, and I would add them to my database, but by the time my notices would go out I didn't remember who was new to the neighborhood.

I sent out a letter to a new homeowner reminding them of their back dues.  It was the standard chain letter of legality that I think I found in back records with the threat of a lien against their property if the dues weren't paid in a timely manner.  The female homeowner called me and left a message on my machine complaining of the tone of my letter.  "What a way to welcome me to this neighborhood," her message said.  "I would have appreciated a person to person communication alerting me to the fact that the previous owner was a deadbeat.  I would have worked out this issue with my realtor and I would certainly pay this year's dues that I owe."  She continued to admonish me about how unfriendly the letter was for someone who was new to the neighborhood.  It really got me thinking.  I called her, but ended up speaking with her husband instead.  I explained how I didn't know who was new and who was old and he reiterated their concerns.  We ended up working out the issues, but it taught me something.  Homeowner's Associations have to be strong, but they don't have to be nasty.  We are all neighbors in the long run and neighbors should be helpful to one another instead of unkind.  We should be offering to trim our neighbors' hedges instead of secretly writing down their property numbers and submitting it to the board.

Flash forward several years.  Last week we received a notice from the board that our lawn was not in compliance with the new bylaws, which were re-written a year ago.  The letter was nasty and demanding and threatening.  They "demand(ed" that we initiate corrections.  They threatened us with fines and lawyers and the Florida statue.  They had taken and enclosed a picture of our house and lawn with the bylaws written out for us.  They did not, however, spell out which of the seven compliances we were breaking. 

1. Lawns shall extend to the curb line and exist primarily of grass and/or Florida-friendly landscaping.
2. No gravel or paved parking strips are allowed except attached to driveways.
3. No weeds, underbrush, or other unsightly growths and no refuse pile or unsightly objects.
4. All lawns must be mowed regularly so that the grass is not over 5 inches in height.
5. Grass shall have an overall green appearance.
6. All flower beds are to be maintained without weeds and unsightly growths.
7. All shrubbery, trees and bushes are to be trimmed included removal of dead portions or branches.

Immediately, I was on the defense.  While our yard is certainly not a pristine piece of real estate that will win awards in a gardening magazine we have spruced up our home and yard in the past two years.  We have painted our house and recently Tom planted a nice little area (not in the photograph sent to us) with new trees and flowers.  Compared to houses in the neighborhood, namely the burned rental property on our own street, our house and yard isn't bad.  I was furious.  Now I've become that guy on the bike as I walk Elliot around the neighborhood pointing out to him all the yards I see that are in violation.  Why we got chosen to receive a letter is anyone's guess. 
Tom, on the other hand, was more relaxed.  He didn't care for the tone of the letter or for the fact that we had no idea what they were in disapproval over, but he was nonchalant over it all as he was planning to do something about the lawn in the spring.  As it is winter and as Florida is under a two day only watering restriction we are quite limited in what will grow.  He wrote a letter back to them admonishing them on their demanding tone, assuring them we were good homeowner's, asking them for clarification, and assuring them we would be doing more things with our landscaping come April.

In the picture they sent us there is a small dead branch off our tree lying on the side of the road.  In Tom's letter he made sure to reference that "refuse" from a recent storm that was "removed by the next garbage collection cycle."  My neighbor wanted him to just list that as the course of action by saying, "Picked up dead branch out of the road the next day."  My main neighbors, like Tom, find the whole thing hilarious as they all have dead and/or no grass and are waiting for their letters.

We have not heard back yet from the Association, but I have given them speeches and written them more letters in my head as I walk around the neighborhood spotting violation after violation of the "Lawns and Landscaping" rules.  The bottom line goes back to what I learned while being on the other end of this situation.  We don't have to be ugly to one another.  An Association can be helpful and kind while maintaining the bylaws.  A solution might be to have a "help your neighbor" day where everyone helps a neighbor plant a flower or a tree or mow a yard.  There are reasons for some people's lack of compliance such as illnesses and loss of jobs.  Why not use some of our dues, now at $65 a year, to help that type of neighbor come into compliance?  I can guarantee that my violation, whatever it might be, is not a reason why a house hasn't sold or been purchased in my neighborhood, which is why we supposedly have an association.

When I was young I didn't know of any neighborly complaints in our area regarding yards and trees.  As kids we raked our neighbors yards without asking.  If someone needed help, it was given without questions.  I can't believe that that type of neighborly living is gone.  My dad always said to try kindness first in dealing with people.  I think our world has forgotten how to do just that. 

Recently my neighbor across the street dug up his yard to replace his sprinkler heads.  He is over 70.  My neighbor next door saw him doing this work and joined him without a word.  I saw them both working in the heat and brought them over lemonade.  It isn't hard to do.  It just takes being a neighbor.

Monday football recap and more

• Entered

	Favorite	Favorite Win	Versus	Underdog Win	Underdog	Status	Points
	San Francisco		vs		@Atlanta	CorrectSF 28, Atl 24	1
	@New England		vs		Baltimore	CorrectBal 28, NE 13	1
Bold = Winning Team						Total Points	2

Here is my Yahoo fantasy pick'em page from the playoffs for those who might not have believed me when I say I picked the right teams this week.  Now I'm going to have to cheer for Baltimore to beat the 49ers so that they don't tie the Steelers with a sixth ring.  Do you know how hard that will be?  To cheer for a team that hates my beloved team?  To cheer for a team whose coach has an unnatural hatred for my Steelers and uses that hatred to spur on his Ravens any chance he can get.  Ah, I might have to cheer for the 49ers after all.  There is always more room at the top.

San Fran/Atlanta game - Good to the very end.  Atlanta played better than I expected shutting out the 49ers in the first quarter.  They kept up the offense in the second quarter, but allowed the 49ers to score their own two touchdowns.  I knew going into that locker room that Jim Harbaugh would give the speech of a lifetime to fire up those players, and they came out on to that field ready to play shutting out the Falcons the entire half to take the win.

Matt Ryan - He made two mistakes that will haunt his sleep for some time, despite the 49ers not scoring points on either of them.  But it did cost the Falcons scores and that was the difference as I saw it.  You can't go into a playoff game and throw to the wrong team or fumble the ball.  Just ask Peyton Manning.

Colin Kaepernick - He just keeps making coach Harbaugh look better and better doesn't he?  I thought not letting him run (unless necessary) was brilliant as it opened up the line for the running backs.  The Falcons defense was so focused on stopping his run that they were too confused when he didn't even try.  It will be a different ballgame in New Orleans and the Ravens won't be so confused.  Should be a good one.

Super Bro-wl - I stole that from our newspaper, but I do want to point out that I called this Super Bowl back in October here.  Cara knows football.  Or she likes to think she does.  Will be fun for the media to have something more to add to the festivities.  Should be interesting as I've seen these two scream, yell, and jump around in heated competition.  

Ravens Defense - The thing about Tom Brady is he hates to lose and he hates to be trifled with.  The Ravens defense was better yesterday and they kept him off guard, and when Brady is off guard he starts to get frustrated like a little boy.  It is easy then to slide in and destroy him.  He has worked on that in the latter years, but he didn't do such a good job yesterday once he realized he wasn't getting the job done.  Easy then for the Ravens to take advantage.

Joe Flacco - The Steelers and the Ravens have a rivalry that is ugly, and I dislike the way the Ravens staff and some of the players exasperate that rivalry.  That being said I have got to give kudos to the way quarterback Flacco has played these past two years, especially his play in the latter part of this season.  He is fast becoming a household name outside of Baltimore and holding his own, especially in the pocket.

SNL - Hilarious opening skit on Lance Armstrong and Manti Te'o Saturday night on SNL.  You knew someone was going to run with it and SNL does it very well.

Basketball - Now that football is down to one last game I have got to get into college basketball which is full of excitement with various teams doing some good bball stuff.  Both Indiana teams in Butler and Indiana are ranked in the top ten.  I can't see a lot of their games locally, but I can follow along on the computer so I'm going to have to switch sports in my mind and get back to my heritage.

Football picks - playoffs #3 and more

Have you seen the Bud Light commercials where the fans have to do or wear the same thing every game because it brings them luck?  The slogan is "It's only weird if it doesn't work".  Well, I have made my picks, but in the latter part of the season when I picked the Ravens to win they lost.  While I was cool with that, thrilled even that they lost, I now would like them to beat Tom Brady and the Patriots, because well, I'm not a fan.  And who wouldn't love to see the two Harbaugh brothers fight it out in the Super Bowl, huh?  So I guess I'm saying I don't want to record that game on this blog because....It's only weird if it doesn't work.

San Francisco over Atlanta - I would love for Atlanta to win this game because they haven't been this far in like one hundred years.  I like it (when the Steelers aren't in the thick of things) when new teams go to the party.  I also like that the Steelers are the leading team with six Super Bowl rings.  However, that being said, if the 49ers Colin Kaepernick plays like he did last week, like he doesn't have a thing to lose yet losing is the last thing on his mind, there is no way the Falcons are going to the Super Bowl.  The defense has got to shut down that quarterback.  He can't run and he can't make long Superman passes.  If the Falcons can do that, they just might have a shot.  I just don't think they can.

Ravens and the Patriots - Been there and done this before.  The Ravens have the defense to shut down Brady, but will they come out and do it?  Will Brady be in the zone and play playoff football like only Tom Brady can?  Will the Ravens choke like they did in the latter part of the season?  Will Ray Lewis pump up his team enough to go out there and destroy the Patriots offense?  Oh, my, this should be a good game.  Neither team is my favorite and it kills me that they got this far, but my pick is recorded on my Yahoo account and I'll be watching come Sunday night.

Lance Armstrong - Someone tell me why this man went on Oprah?  What was the point?  Especially if you weren't going to show some tears.  I watched only about twenty minutes of the first day's interview because as Madison said who really knows the truth anymore?  I thought Armstrong came across as a king who was annoyed that his subjects had turned on him and now he was having to sit there and rehash the past and admit his role.  What was the point?  It certainly wasn't guilt.  I didn't see any guilt.  He didn't look like this had been eating away at him for years.  He looked good; fit, trim, athletic and handsome.  Granted I didn't watch the entire interview, but I don't see why he put himself out there.  He never failed a drug test.  He could have just kept silent and there would have always been people that believed him.  He would have avoided tons of lawsuits.  I just don't get it.  In the end he was still the winner because it sounds like everyone was doping.  He just was the king doper.  The situation is so yesterday that I just scratch my head.  It hasn't changed my mind on the whole thing.  I think it a waste of time and money, and I still believe the problem in drugging lies with professional sports, the money, the pressure, the owners, the media, and the fans.

Manti Teo - I'm thinking that Lance Armstrong was the unnamed source who got the ball rolling on this story because boy did it eclipse Lance's interview with Oprah.  By the time that interview was televised no one was watching because they were listening and reading about Manti Teo and his bizarre dead, fake girlfriend who wasn't really dead.  In a nutshell Teo and his family, through various written stories, said that Teo lost his girlfriend to cancer around the same time that his grandmother died.  This was toward the beginning of the football season and the media ran with the story writing all sorts of things about the poor dead girlfriend.  Now it turns out that not only was the girlfriend not dead, but she never really existed in the first place; at last not by the name we all knew.  The questions are did Teo create this story to garner attention for the Heisman?  Did Notre Dame have anything to do with it?  Was it really a hoax, as Notre Dame is now claiming?  Oh, boy!  Oh, boy!

Idiots - The bottom line in both of these situations is how dumb these two guys really are.  Armstrong was so pompous and full of himself that he never believed anyone would turn on him?  He just figured that year after year his friends, colleagues, and family members would just lie as he kept winning, winning, winning collecting more trophies and jerseys and tons of money?  In this day and age of television and social media Teo really believed someone wasn't going to delve into the background of this dead girl, that his friends, colleagues, and family members would just keep quiet as he kept succeeding?  It just blows my mind at how athletes really think they are so much more than anything or anyone else.  Listen guys, people don't keep quiet.  Not even your parents keep things quiet in this day.  You aren't surrounded by people who want you to be king, who will keep mum, and watch as you make millions.  It just doesn't happen.

NFL coaches - The round robin of coaching is still going on in the NFL as teams scramble to hire new coaches, coordinators, and general managers.  Arizona hired the Colts Bruce Arians to be their head coach to replace Arians' former co-worker Ken Whisenhunt, both of whom tried to get the head coaching job in Pittsburgh years ago that went to Mike Tomlin.  College coaches are leaving the young and signing more monetary contracts for the high pressure world of the NFL.  Chip Kelley left the Oregon Ducks to be the Philadelphia Eagles head coach hoping to be the next Jim Harbaugh or Pete Carroll.  But then again he left once before after interviewing with the Browns and then changed his mind.  Heck, even the Jets got a new general manager after everyone else turned them down.  We won't know if any of these new hires are worth anything until next year, but the drama has sure been fun to watch as it all played out. 

Research and husband equal new camera

Before the holidays I was on the hunt for a new pocket camera.  While I have an Iphone with a camera, I prefer a camera-camera to take my pictures and my videos.  My trusty little Canon Powershot SD800 IS camera that I'd had for many years was falling apart and not working at picturesque times.  My husband told me to research cameras.  "Go to Target and try them.  Hold them in your hands.  Practice."  My husband researches all items over $100.

I liked the look of my Canon.  I liked the size of it, the pictures it took, and the fact that it had a "night snapshot" setting that let me take pictures in dark places, and I mean dark places.  If I couldn't see my hand in front of my face in a dark place, my camera would.  It was a gift from my husband and when I first got the camera, like most new electric gadgets that my husband buys me, I wasn't all that keen on it because I liked my old camera.  The one thing I picked out was that I could only use the rechargeable battery that came with the camera and nothing else.  Which meant that when I forgot to charge the battery I couldn't just replace the battery with some double AA's like my last camera.  Turns out it wasn't a big deal; the battery life lasted forever.  I eventually fell in love with the camera and was determined that despite it coming apart I could manage with some duct tape. Unfortunately, the innards of the camera weren't always lining up when pushed back together and I would miss important events that should have been photographed.

I decided to begin on the Internet for my camera search so that I could narrow down some choices and then go "hold them in my hands".  The first thing I knew I wanted was a camera the same size as the one I had.  I carried my Canon with me in my purse all the time so that I could pull it out at a moment's notice and snap away.  Before the camera phones, I was the official photographer for all those who forget their camera because I always had mine on me. This detail helped me eliminate a large section of cameras in my research.  Unfortunately, as I read I had no idea what any of the details in the cameras meant.

I really just used my Canon to point and shoot.  There was a menu with all sorts of different sections with different choices, and beyond knowing how to turn the flash and the date off and on and how to get the pictures on to my computer I really had no idea how to really use the thing.  I decided perhaps I should start with getting to know my old camera first so that I could find something comparable to it.  Turns out that my trusty little Canon is no longer made and is now considered an "old version".  I read about the new versions of the camera, but it didn't seem to be so highly regarded compared to other cameras.  I researched and wrote things down.  When I found something like IOS, which meant absolutely nothing to me, I researched it.  After it still meant absolutely nothing to me I thought perhaps I should just buy disposable cameras.  Eventually I narrowed down a list of five cameras, all of them more than I wanted to spend.

Luckily for me, Christmas was fast approaching so I began pulling out all the ads with sales on cameras.  I would look for one on my list and compare prices with those online.  If I saw a camera I thought looked good I would research it.  Most of the time those cameras weren't highly recommended so I crossed them off the list and tried to stick with my list of five.  At one point during my Christmas shopping I stopped at the camera department at Target and played around with some cameras.  I did not have my list of five, but I tried to stick with the brands I remembered.  I couldn't really tell the differences between them and decided that if I put together my Canon and it worked then I would try the duct tape route.

Then Christmas morning came and I unwrapped a new camera from Tom.  Immediately, I felt that familiar electronic feeling of "what-my-old-camera-is-just-fine".  I hemmed and hawed and oohed and awed and thought, "But I researched cameras.  I did all of this work like he told me too and now he buys me a camera that I don't think is even on my list of five."  There was also a part of me that was relieved to have the problem taken out of my hands and so I took the camera out of the box and began examining it.

It looked much like the Canon except thinner and it did not have nearly as much abbreviations and nonsense in the menu.  In fact it had very simple instructions and fewer buttons.  It had a better zoom, one of the things I had wanted, and it churned out some decent photos.

The blimp (photo 1) was as we were coming over the causeway heading to a breakfast place that Tom wanted to take us to and I whipped out the camera to see if how well my camera and the zoom worked.

Turned out to work quite well.  As do all of the electronic gadgets that my husband purchases for me.  It also turned out that the camera was on the list of 5 Best Budget digital cameras that I had written down.  So who cares that I spent an entire two days researching cameras.  It all worked out in the end and he paid for it.  Now if I can only research every little detail in the menu so that I can use the camera to its full potential...

Moving with Kelly

I was organizing my 2012 photos getting ready to work on my new year's resolutions and to start my 2013 photo files when I came across photos of the weeks days it took to move Kelly into her new apartment.  Not wanting those pics to go to waste I'm posting them now and wondering....did I post these some time ago?

This wasn't my first rodeo when it came to moving Kelly, but this time she was determined to go through her own things and eliminate because she was moving from a two bedroom into a one bedroom.I have to say that she did a good job.  I was proud of her.  She got rid of a ton of paper and a ton of items like furniture and knick knacks that she hadn't looked at or used in years months.  We made two piles; one for donating and one for trash.  The trash pile filled up all of the cans outside her apartment and the donation pile we had to move and stack up outside for pick-up.  It took up so much room we were worried the other tenants wouldn't be able to pass by into the laundry room.

To haul her crap from one place to the other Kelly rented a truck.  This truck had a hydraulic lift that got a lot of  use.  The first place we had to drive to was the store where Kelly bought a new couch to replace the one she donated.  Delivery was $80 so we decided we would pick up and deliver ourselves.  Kelly had way too much fun driving the truck, but then she has always had a fascination about trucks and truck drivers that she feels started back in the day when her mother would threaten to stop the car and spank Kelly and her siblings for misbehaving "in front of all these truck drivers".

 

 

My job the day of moving was painting Kelly's new kitchen.  I have always thought Kelly's living places to be lacking color and warmth so I convinced her (or she did it to shut me up) that painting would add something to this new abode.  She said she had always wanted a yellow kitchen so we chose two colors, narrowed it down, and I enlisted the help of Darcy and Savanna and we went to town painting the kitchen.  We got one coat done on moving day and then I painted the second coat a couple of days later.

A week later there was still much to be done like un-boxing items and putting them away, but the worker bees that I were dealing with felt they had more important things to do.

I gave up and left the rest up to Kelly.  She cleaned her old apartment and last time I was over she had almost finished the new apartment.  Our goal for the new apartment is to visit her more often for food and games, and now that the holidays and finals for the girls are over we will have to get to work on this goal.  Madison and I want to paint her hallway area to match her bathroom shower curtain too and the porch area needs some type of paint work as well so more pictures are sure to follow.

Monday football playoffs recap and more

I was gone for most of the games, the best part of the first game and the beginning of the second game, but I taped them both and went over the tape when I returned home. Unfortunately, the double overtime game didn't record because with all our technology advancement we still can't run over the time when the program is still on.

Saturday -

Peyton - I thought he seemed shaky in the beginning, jittering around in the pocket like he had to go to the bathroom. He had a lot of short passes and not as many long passes in the beginning. Peyton is best when he can throw it long, but the Ravens defense was all over the field. The interception at the end was unfortunate and not the way I wanted the season to end for Peyton. Sigh. However, he and his family waited in the locker room to congratulate and talk to Ray Lewis after all the interviews. That is class and that is Peyton Manning and that is why I love him so. He should be the ambassador to all incoming drafted quarterbacks to show them how they should conduct themselves in the NFL.

Defense - The game was as defensive as it was offensive. Ray Lewis was a monster with 17 tackles, and the Broncos in the beginning were stuffing players left and right. They both stepped up in the double overtimes, but the Ravens came out the winner when Manning made his dumb throw across the body and the Ravens Corey Graham intercepted.

Joe Flacco - As much as I despise the Ravens, I have got to acknowledge that their quarterback is slowly and steadily making himself into somebody. Where defenders use to be able to crawl inside his head and destroy, Flacco has made changes and now stands and steady against the defense. His 70 yard pass to Jacoby Jones for the tying touchdown with 41 seconds left on the clock was actually pure Peyton Manning, and by far the best play of the game. His confidence now is straight and this team will be unbeatable.

Trendon Holliday - How cool was this little guy running punt returns 90 and 104 yards for touchdowns weaving through the crowd and shaking off tackles? So amazing to watch. He was like a little animal running for his life, but he made it look so effortless.

Ravens - I never understood why the Ravens were underdogs. I went back and forth on my picks, but at the last moment went with my heart. From the moment Ray Lewis announced his retirement I knew the Ravens were the team to beat. I was just hoping they wouldn't. But they are the AFC's best and will be in New Orleans.

Colin Kaepernick - Holy shit did that guy put on a show or what? I have to say that it was the most amazing play from a quarterback I've ever seen. He ran for yardage and touchdowns like a running back. He threw bombs and touchdowns with confidence like the greats now in the Hall of Fame. He had absolutely no fear and just looked like a kid out playing backyard football for fun. It was fantastic football and a treat to watch, and those tattoos make that little guy scary as hell.

Defense - The 49ers defense showed up and pretty much knocked guys to the turf just standing there. The Packers defense was spotty and for the most part not in existence. I thought they just totally deflated as they watched Kaepernick run and gun in the second half. Can't win games without your defense.

Fights - In the fourth quarter the Packers realized they were beat and they started making bigger pushes and shoves in tackling both offensively and defensively. The 49ers didn't take that we'll and they began mouthing off and pushing and shoving back. The refs did a good job stopping anything major, because it suddenly was brutal on the field with a lot of testosterone and anger. Whew. It was a relief when it was finally over.

Sunday -

Seahawks - They were lost in the first half and the Falcons ran circles around them. They were so shocked they were shaking their heads as they headed into the locker room at halftime after blowing a chance to score. There Pete Carroll gave one of his rousing you-aren't-done-yet speeches and the little team that could came back from a twenty point deficit to take the lead 28-27 with less than a minute to go.

Matts - And then came Matt Ryan with two clutch throws that got Atlanta close enough with 8 seconds on the clock to send out kicker, former Tampa Bay kicker, Matt Bryant who, after missing a practice kick when Seattle called a time out, then iced it through the uprights.

Atlanta - This team came out running, punching, throwing, catching all in an attempt to shut up the naysayers, and at the half it looked like they had done the trick. Not sure why they made that kick at the end that gave the Seahawks the ball with time still left on the clock, but since they won it won't matter now.

Russell Wilson - Freakin' Rookie of the Year dammit! He led this team back in the fourth quarter looking like the Colin Kaepernick the way he got away from tackles. He is so cool and mature for a rookie. He just is amazing and impressive. I'm sorry he didn't win, but what a great comeback.

Last game - Ugh. Boring. Didn't these teams watch the previous three games?

Rob Gronkowski - The Patriots tight end re-injuried his arm in the first quarter and never made it back. He missed six games this season due to a broken forearm and the Patriots had some scoring troubles. They seem to have that worked out now. Not thinking the Gronkowski loss will be a problem.

Jets GM - According to Fox's Jay Glazer, the Jets can't give the job away. Hmmm...that is a flag for sure and maybe the owners need to sit back down at the drawing table and take a look at their coach one more time. Something ain't right in there and you had better start looking at the man at the helm.

Golden Globes - Kudos to the hostesses Tina Fey and Amy Poehler who were fab and hilarious. Props to Will Ferrell and Kristen Whig who were entertaining and funny. And I loved Robert Downey Jr.'s intro for Jodie Foster, and Jodie Foster's speech. What a speech!

NFL picks - playoffs week #2

Denver over Baltimore - This is the one game I'm interested in because I dearly, and I mean truly, love Peyton Manning. I think he is the epitome of greatness, not only in football but in humanity as well. He is the type of man I would want for my daughters. I so want him to have the year of his life after all that he struggled through last year, but that doesn't mean he will. Baltimore has a desire, a fire, and a purpose now. They are ruthless and plain mean. The Broncos will have to hold the Ravens defense and protect Peyton like they never have before. On the other name, Denver has a defense too and if they can get inside Joe Flacco's head and score on turnovers they can be the difference. Should be a good game, but I sincerely hope Denver blows them away. I just worry they won't.

Green Bay over San Francisco - I'm taking the underdogs in this game, and yes, I see the pattern...not picking the Harbaugh teams. I don't know what it is about those two men, but I like to dislike them. This too could be a good game (and one I'll have to tape since I'm going to see the Cake Boss Buddy Valastro tonight) with both teams fighting their way to the finish. I think the winner will depend on which team shows up tonight to play. I've been impressed with how the Packers are playing these last few weeks, and they have certainly been better than the 49ers. But the 49ers knew they had the playoffs and they won't want to make the same mistakes as last year, so they should be more motivated.

Seattle over Atlanta - Come on how can I not pick them? They are the little scrappy team that could. I'm counting on the defense and my boy Russell Wilson. I know Atlanta, like the 49ers and Baltimore, have paybacks from last year's playoff debacles, but this Seahawks team is plain fun to watch so I'm taking them. Plus if Pete Carroll gets to the Super Bowl I have more of a chance to make some money when people googled that and hit upon my Yahoo article!

New England over Houston - Uh, yeah does anyone expect the Texans to beat Brady and company? J. J. Watt has his work cut out for him. I just don't see Houston running away from a veteran team and a veteran coach. Doesn't mean I won't be rooting for them! I hope they do win, but I just can't pick with my heart.

Notre Dame - Wow. They didn't even bother to show up for the Bowl game. Those Irish boys were giving a huge ass whupping in front of millions of people and they just stood and took it as if they knew they didn't deserve it. I watched Notre Dame all season since my husband has suddenly become a fan after touring the campus this summer. That wasn't the same team on Monday night that I watched all season. It was befuddling. I would like to discuss it with Regis.

Hockey - It's back on. Does anyone even care?

Monte Kiffin - The best defensive coordinator in my opinion behind the Steelers Dick LaBeau. He worked for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for 13 years before following and working for his pushy college coach of a son from Tennessee to California. He finally said enough this year and left his son's crew. The Dallas Cowboys wasted no time in firing their coordinator, Rob Ryan, and snatching up Kiffin. They are willing to make a lot of changes for next year after missing one too many playoffs including switching to Kiffin's 4-3 defense. I was hoping Kiffin would come home, but knew he wouldn't be unemployed for long.

Jim Boeheim - The Syracuse head basketball coach posted his 903rd career win last week passing Bobby Knight to move up to second in the all time winning list behind Duke's Mike Krzyzewski. Boeheim, the bespectacled coach of the Orangemen, took it all in stride after his team beat Rutgers, but insisted the numbers meant nothing to him. It is nice to see that more teams keep their coaches through thick and thin. Turns out these teams are mostly winners.

I am truly sick

I have been under the weather the past week with fatigue, nasal drip, sore throat and a cough. While I didn't have a fever I had days of just plain not feeling well. I have had this sinus issue before, and believe it or not, I think it has to do with inhaling cleaning solutions. I have discussed this with a medical doctor, who agreed it could be a true statement. He did, however refuse to write me a script for a maid.

The first day it started with a cough, and after cleaning my kitchen floor with a vinegar and water solution the post nasal drip started. I didn't sleep that night at all, but it was still vacation so when I finally did fall asleep in the early morning hours I could sleep late. I got online and researched my dripping and found the usual remedies including nasal sprays, antihistamines, and Sud-afed. The second night I took some Tylenol Cough and Cold medicine I had in my cabinet and while I didn't sleep great I at least did sleep some, but the next night the Tylenol didn't do anything, and I didn't sleep a wink. The dripping down the back of my throat was like a faucet which in turn made my throat sore and caused me to hack. By the fifth day I was a walking zombie with dark circles under my eyes and a cranky disposition. I desperately needed sleep and decided what I needed was good ole Sudafed with pseudoephedrine that would knock me out for several hours while the girls were in school. In the old days I use to take Dimetapp liquid, but since-the-hiding-behind-the-counter-sell-your-soul-for-pseudoephedrine days I haven't been able to find Dimetapp so I decided Sudafed would put me out of my misery for awhile.

I dropped off Darcy in the early morning at school, made a hurried grocery run, which did nothing but tire me out and run me down, so that by the time I got to the corner of happy and healthly I wasn't walking in a straight line. The weather was chilly so I was bundled up in my black sweat pants, shirt, and was topping it all off with a black sweater three times my normal size that I love to wrap around me like I'm a freezing homeless person on the streets. I went into Walgreens and shuffled my way to the cold and flu aisle, passing the chirpy, bright-eyed cosmetic girl who sang out, "Good Morning!" to me as I snuffled into the Kleenex held tightly in my fist.

I started perusing the cold section looking for any of the medicines I had goggled, but not really finding the ingredients I wanted, I made my way to the pharmacy. There was a line and I stood behind a gentlemen who was next in line behind the two people being taken care of at the counter. There was a woman picking up medications for someone else who didn't have answers to the pharmacist's questions and much computer tapping was happening. There was a young man giving out insurance information and more computer tapping as the girl tech plugged it all into the computer. Outside the drive up lane was filling up with cars.

I peered over the gentleman in line trying to read all of the different medications on the shelf behind the counter. It annoyed me that I couldn't read the labels. How was I suppose to know which one was best for me? I moved from one leg to the other while I waited as if rocking a baby on my hip. I squinted some more at the shelf. I wiped my nose and sniffled loudly. I tried to remember the combination of drugs goggle had recommended, but not being able to see made me more antsy. The pharmacist looked up at me and stared a second too long, and suddenly I felt like a drug addict. I left the line and shuffled back to the cold aisle to study more medications.

I walked up the aisle, picking up cherry flavored cough syrup and reading the label. I studied the allergy medications. I contemplated a humidifier for $75. Finally, irritated, I made my way back to the pharmacy line where the woman picking up someone else's medications was still dealing with the pharmacist. The other tech behind the counter was at the drive through lane. I stood behind another man and smiled at another man who was sitting in the waiting chairs. I made eye contact with him as if to say, "Are you next in line or waiting for a prescription?" but he scowled at me and gave a disgusted shake of his head which I read as "damn junkie." I peered again at the medications on the shelf rehearsing in my head how I would ask for it. Aren't they suppose to help sick people instead of judging them? I wondered in my head. Shouldn't I be able to give him my symptoms and he suggest a medication? But no. What if he steered me away from the pseudoephedrine? Dammit that's what I wanted! I stood up straighter and tried not to look so desperate.

The woman finally got the prescriptions and left. The tall Asian pharmacist waited on the man in front of me as the girl tech finished in the drive thru lane. Oh good, I was going to get her instead of the pharmacist. She looked at me and moved away from the counter disappearing behind the mysterious aisles of bottles and potions as the man finished his purchase. The pharmacist looked at me. I moved to the counter and peered up at the medications I wanted.

Me: "I think." I cleared my throat. "I think I need something." He waited, looking me over. "I think I need some Sudafed."
Him: "Do you have ID?" He didn't move to get the pills.
Me: "Yes." I dug around in my purse for my wallet while he watched. I wanted to shout, " Take a picture it lasts longer, get me the damn drugs!" I quietly pulled out my drivers license instead. "I don't think I need the 24 hours." I smiled at him. "I just need some sleep." Suddenly a cough bubbled its way to the surface and I had to turn from him to take care of it. It was a good cough, and when I got done hacking I turned back and smiled at him as if to say, "See."

He went to the shelf and pulled down, not the Sudafed that I asked for, but the Walgreens brand, Wal-afed, and looked at me as if daring me to complain. I didn't. I smiled and sniffled, took out my Kleenex for good measure and swiped at my nose. He rang me up and I grabbed the package and practically started running toward the front of the store and the exit before I remembered there were cameras. I slowed my pace and nonchalantly acted like I was interested in the various Holiday items discounted in bins in the middle of the aisle. I smiled at the cosmetic girl who kept her head down. I left the store, wanting to peer into my bag, but not daring. Did I not say Sudafed? Did I look like I needed to save two dollars? I got in my car and slowly drove away from the corner of happy and healthy, not feeling either one. See what these crazed druggies have done to normal sick people?

Side Note - The Wal-afed was the non- drowsy kind. It cleared up the drip, but dried out my throat so much I ended up coughing every twenty minutes all night long. Tom slept through it all. The next day I went to the grocery store and bought a bottle of NyQuil cough. That puppy did the trick, and I slept like a baby for two nights. I'm hoping tonight I'll sleep with nothing in my system and be truly on the mend.

The day after

Christmas came and went in a flurry of wrapping paper and little sleep.  I planned to enjoy the day after Christmas by sleeping late and lounging around in my pajamas with peppermint coffee while my husband went to work and my kids played with their presents.  Unfortunately, the day didn't start as planned.

9:45 am. -
Beep.  Beep.  Beep. What is that beeping noise?  I sit up in bed, my head quite foggy from sleep. I wonder if the electricity is off because when that happens our back up batteries all beep to alert us to the fact that they have taken over; like we don't know.  Why am I the only one who hears this beeping noise?  Is it the smoke alarm?  I fall back against the pillows and groan. I just wanted to sleep late. Suddenly I go still.  Is that the smoke alarm?  Should I be worried?  Is anyone else even up?

A scurrying noise.  Someone is in my bedroom.  I ask aloud, "What is that beeping noise?"

Darcy's head appears over mine.  Her eyes are wide.  "Mom, there is someone in our garage and they are yelling that there is a fire."

I stare at her as my brain tries to wrap itself around her words.  "What?" I ask befuddled.

"There is someone in our garage and she keeps yelling, "Fire!"  I'm scared."

I leap out of bed.  "What?  What fire?  What are you talking about someone in our garage?  Who is in our garage?"  My bedroom is spinning as if I've drunk too much liquor, but it is only due to my leaping, something that shouldn't be done anymore at my age.  I begin to walk through the house toward the kitchen door that leads into my garage.  Darcy is at my heels.

I reach the door and it is completely locked from the door knob all the way up to the lock we put on years ago when the kids were small and we were afraid they would somehow escape.  Through the locked door is the Beep!  Beep!  Beep!, a much louder sound now that I am closer.  After the third beep is a woman's automated voice calmly stating, "Fire!  Fire!  Fire!"

"What is that?  What is that?" I ask aloud.  "Who is saying that?"

"I don't know," Darcy whines, her eyes still wide.  "She was in there when I went to check on that noise so I locked the door."

"Well, this is ridiculous."  I unlock the three locks and push open the door.  The beeping noise is ear splitting.  The woman's voice coming from the alarm won't shut up.  "Fire!  Fire!  Fire!"  "Do you smell anything?" I shout above the noise.  "Do you smell smoke?  I can't smell anything because my nose is plugged.  Oh, my god, is the house on fire?"

"No.  I don't know."  Darcy is standing in the doorway with her wide eyes counting on me to protect her.

I look up at the smoke alarm which is directly outside the kitchen door, high above my washing machine and sink.  I vaguely remember that I can't reach this high, that recently I had replaced the batteries in this contraption after spending days searching for the occasional beep that signals the batteries are dying.  I register this while thinking that it certainly can't be the batteries there must be a fire.  In the attic!  It happened once to my friend Sharon, well sort of.

This is all running through my head as I get out the step stool and climb up to reach the smoke alarm.  The beeping noise is so loud I can hardly stand to be this close.  I reach out and push the button in the middle.  Silence.  My ears are ringing despite the sudden quiet.

"Jesus!"  I try to regain some of my wits.  "That thing is loud!"  I look at Darcy whose eyes are not as wide now that the beeping has stopped.  "Do you smell smoke?  I don't smell anything."  I put my hand up against the roof of the garage which is where the attic entry is.  The concrete is cold to my touch.  Wouldn't it be hot if there was a fire?  Why don't I know this stuff?  Shouldn't I know this type of thing?  I feel the roof again.  Nothing.  I climb down.

"Should I go get Chuck?" Darcy asks.  Chuck is our next door retired fireman neighbor.

"Maybe.  Come with me through the house and tell me if you smell anything."  Darcy and I start back through the house.  Madison is sleeping through it all.  Elliot, the dog, is sleepily standing in the hallway scornfully looking at us through bleary eyes as if to say, "What is all the fuss?  Didn't we have enough of that yesterday?  I thought today was a relaxing one."

Darcy and I go through the entire house.  Nothing.  Darcy goes back to watching television. As far as she is concerned the crisis is over. I walk outside the front of my house, but I can't see the roof.  To do that I would have to venture further outside in my pajamas and no bra; not something the neighbors need to be subjected to the day after the birth of the lord.  I go back inside, through the house, and outside in my back yard.  I can see more of the roof from here.  Nothing.  Suddenly the beeping noise sounds again.  I can hear it from my position outside, and sure enough, the lady, "Fire!  Fire!  Fire!"

I run past Darcy, who is nonchalant now, out into the garage, back up on the stool.  I push the button again, but it doesn't go off this time.  I pull the damn thing off the wall, trying to protect my ears with the other hand.  I run around the closed garage shaking the thing.  Beep!  Beep!  Beep!  OMG, the thing is loud.  I punch the button again and silence.  I take a deep breath, remove the batteries, and stare at the thing.  It says it is a fire and carbon monoxide alarm.  What?  Carbon Monoxide?  I peer around the garage searching for fumes.  I turn over the alarm.  It says in big letters that carbon monoxide is odorless and fume less.  It is a silent killer.

I wonder aloud, "Would the woman yell fire if there was poisoning?"  I call my husband.

Tom:  "Hello?"
Me:  "Are you busy?"
Tom:  "Sort of yes, why, what's up?"
Me:  "The smoke alarm in the garage is going off.  It woke me from a deep sleep.  She keeps telling us there is a fire, but I don't smell anything.  I thought maybe it was in the attic, but the ceiling feels cool.  Could there be a fire in the attic?"
Tom:  "Are the other smoke alarms in the house going off?"
Me:  "No.  But good point!  If there was a fire in the attic they should go off, right?  But why is she telling us there is a fire?  And that alarm is also a carbon monoxide alarm.  Would she warn us in the same way as the fire?"
Tom:  "Who is "she"?  You keep saying "she"."
Me:  "The woman in the smoke alarm!"
Tom:  "T h e   w o m a n   i n   t h e   s m o k e  a l a r m?"  He says it as if talking to a slow witted person in his what-the-hell voice he only uses with me.  
Me: (snickering)  "Yes, the woman that sits in the smoke alarm at her computer who pushes the button to alert families to a fire."
Tom:  "O K."
Me:  "Yeah, ignore all of that.  I just want to know if we are slowly dying by carbon monoxide poisoning.  You bought the damn alarm."
Tom:  "Is there an engine running?"
Me:  "No, no I don't think there is any poisoning, and of course there isn't an engine running you have the car.  But I'm confused on the whole fire and poisoning in one alarm.  Plus, I was awakened very abruptly."
Tom: (laughing) "It's after ten in the morning.  If you're really worried, go ask Chuck."
Me:  I thought of that, but I'm in my pajamas and don't have a bra on which seems silly if there really is a fire, but you've convinced me there isn't so I don't need Chuck. But I have to tell you THAT ALARM IS LOUD."

The conversation continued in the same vain for some time with him laughing and me getting annoyed.  At some point the dog began barking and so I hung up and went in search of why he was barking in case he had detected a fire.  He was barking at my neighbors across the street so I yelled out to them.

Me:  "Hi Bonnie!  Hey, do you see smoke coming from my roof?"
Bonnie:  "Hi Cara!  What?"
Me:  "Do you see smoke coming from the roof of my house?"
Bonnie:  "What was that?"  She starts walking toward her driveway.
Me:  "You don't see smoke coming from my house, do you?"
Bonnie:  "What?  I can't hear.  Come down."  She starts down the driveway toward my house.

I sigh.  What is the point now.  I march out in my pajamas, old age breasts sagging with no bra.  I meet her at the street, tell her the story.  She sniffs the air.  "Do you smell that?" she asks me.

My heart starts racing.  Oh, my god, it's true.  I'm going to have to get Chuck.  "NO!" I shriek.  I sniff.  "My nose is stuffy.  I can't smell anything.  You smell something?"

She sniffs again.  "It smells like an electric fire.  Let's go up to your garage."

I follow her up the driveway, open the garage, and in we go.  She sniffs around.  "Well, I don't smell it up here."  She takes the alarm out of my hand.  "I've never seen one of these before."

"Me neither, but apparently there is a woman in there who lets you know when there is a fire.  I'm not sure what she screams when there is carbon monoxide poisoning."  We both stare down at the alarm.  "I thought about getting Chuck, but didn't want to run over there without a bra in my pajamas.  Although, now that I think about it I could have put a bra on and then run over there.  But that seemed silly too if my house was burning down around me."  We look up at each other and start laughing.  We laugh and laugh.  We talk about the holidays and the neighbors and she heads home.

I put new batteries in the alarm, climb back up on the stool and attach it back in its position above the washing machine and sink.  The alarm and the woman are silent.  The batteries must not have been good ones when I replaced them the first time.  I put everything away and go inside.  My adrenaline is pumping.  So much for a nice leisurely sleep in.  Maybe later I'll take a nap.

Monday football recap - Playoff week #1

Drama, drama, drama this weekend in the playoffs starting with one quarterback not playing due to an injury, ending with another quarterback playing injured, and a whole lot more happening in between.

Saturday's games -

Christian Ponder - The Vikings Quarterback, he who stayed strong in the pocket against the Packers the week before, was ruled inactive less than an hour before the game against the Packers this week due to elbow bursitis. What? He was going to miraculously recover from this injury acquired in that previously mentioned game overnight? I suppose the Vikings were hoping. Ponder tried. He got out on the field and threw some passes, but it was "evident" he wouldn't be able to play, and since this ain't your 70's football any more, he was ruled inactive and in went the back-up. A man who hadn't thrown a pass in a game since 2010. No way Terry Bradshaw would have sat on the sidelines during a playoff game due to an inflamed elbow. But in this new football era players are worth more, more medical knowledge is known, like getting head butted over and over isn't good long term, and thus players are removed from the game. Or not.

Joe Webb - The back up quarterback thrown in at the last moment started out looking like he might accomplish something, but alas, no. He could run and trading off with Adrian Peterson worked the first two times, but the Packers defense wasn't about to let anyone do what Peterson had done to them the week before. Poor Joe Webb hadn't a chance.

Tony Dungy - Before the game, after viewers had just watched Vikings coach Leslie Frazier smile secretly while talking about Webb, Dungy had me believing this kid would actually pull off a miracle.

Venue - One indoor, one outdoor. Football should be played in the elements. What's the matter with these Texas teams? I watched Friday Night Lights. What's going on with the indoor stadiums?

Cincinnati/Texans - Neither quarterbacks, Matt Schaub nor Andy Dalton, looked like playoff quarterbacks, especially in the first half. Fortunately for Schaub the Texans had a better defense.

Sunday

Colts/Ravens - Let's see...the Colts head coach Chuck Pagano was the Ravens offensive coordinator last year. The Ravens defensive coordinator this year, Jim Caldwell, was the Colts head coach last year. The media was all over that as if it would prove to somehow impact the game. It didn't.

Bruce Arians - The Colts offensive coordinator, who also stepped in as the Colts head coach while Pagano was treated for his cancer, was taken to the hospital several hours before the game for flu like symptoms and never made it back. Instead the quarterback coach called the plays.

Andrew Luck - He had a good run for his first year, but losing Arians and playing against a top notch defense in the playoffs were too much for the rookie.

Ray Lewis - The retiring 17 year linebacker came out of the tunnel on to his home field for the last time roaring, dancing, and motivating his teammates to kick ass, and by god it might just work all the way to the big game.

Redskins - The drama with this team started during the week with replays of coach Mike Shanahan answering questions about a game RGIII was injured in. In explaining why his quarterback came back into the game when he probably shouldn't have, Shanahan inadvertently (?) put the blame on the team's head doctor. The doctor, Dr. James Andrews, took offense to it and this week came out with his own statement refuting Shanahan and saying he never saw the kid. My opinion? RGIII put himself back into the game. Either way Dr. Andrews didn't look so comfortable out on the field. When RGIII was taken into the mysterious, little shed near the bench on Sunday Andrews went inside and immediately came back out. Thrown out? When RGIII went down for the last time on the field Andrews was out there, but he was on the outer circle and not down on his knees examining the injury.  I wonder how good his contract is with the team.

RGIII - Unlike Ponder, the Redskins quarterback played with his injured knee wrapped in a brace. The big question that everyone is now asking, after the fact, is who made this decision? Because in the final minutes of the game on Sunday the center snapped the ball low and RGIII twisted his knee in trying to pick up the ball. Before that he hadn't played up to par, but he looked the same to me as the last time I watched him play; in a game he lost to Pittsburgh. Sometimes you're hot and sometimes you're not and perhaps the injury was a factor, but... So now we have an injured quarterback who chose to play hurt, who ended up more damaged then when he started, and the questions are swirling.  Why was he even in the game?  Why did Shanahan let him play?  Uh, because this is football and Shanahan is old school and RGIII himself told the coach he could play.  I understand it, but unlike the situation with Ponder, the Redskins had a decent back-up quarterback who had already proved his worth earlier this year.  Why not try him first and have RGIII as the backup just in case? As it is now the Redskins are done and RGIII is hobbling with an undisclosed injury. 

Russell Wilson - Meanwhile, my pick for Rookie of the Year (several weeks back), is the only one still standing.  Wilson came in, took charge, stayed cool in and out of the pocket, and even helped Marshawn Lynch score a touchdown by tackling a defender.  He showed poise, determination, and confidence on the field.  And he gets to play another week.

Seattle - They are the little team that could just make it all the way up the hill to New Orleans.  They have to get through Atlanta first, but this team is riding a high with this win, and as crazy as Pete Carroll is about winning he is infectious and certainly motivating.

Playoff picks and more - week #1

The playoffs start this afternoon and I'm ready.  I have my teams to root for and I've gone back and forth on these picks.  I think these games can go in any direction and we should see some great football this weekend.

Houston over Cincinnati - One of the games I was sure about and then second guessed up to the time I had to make my decision.  Cincinnati is just so up or down depending on who shows up to play.  This is a repeat of last season's game and Houston dominated.  That means Cincinnati should be up for the win with quarterback Andy Dalton returning home to his native Texas.  But the Texans are the media's "will they or won't they" team and they have a lot to prove.  I think in the end the Texans will prevail.

Green Bay over Minnesota - As much as I'd like to see the Vikings take this game, I just don't believe they can beat the Packers on sacred Lambeau Field, not after that game last week.  The Packers will be out for blood and Aaron Rogers will be totally in charge.  Look for the Packers to do a better job of shutting down Adrian Peterson this week.  Unfortunately, for the Vikings they don't have much else to go to when that happens.  If Christian Ponder can stay cool and pretend he is as good as Aaron Rogers, this could turn out to be another great game.

Baltimore over Indianapolis - I didn't have any love for Indy back in the old days, but then they acquired our homeboy Tony Dungy, and they always had Peyton Manning.  Who doesn't love Peyton Manning?  Turns out quite a few people, but I wasn't one of those.  When Dungy left and then Manning was turned out I was prepared to throw Indy back into the piles of "who cares about those teams".  Well, turns out I did.  Despite my preparing to dislike newbie Andrew Luck, I did like him.  I got caught up in the coach-beating-cancer thing like the whole football world did and pulled for the team to continue churning out those wins. 

Now they play against my arch rival and I will be yelling loudly for them.  Unfortunately, I'm not feeling a win for them.  Not against Baltimore.  Not against a team that now has more of a reason to want to win.  Seventeen year veteran Ray Lewis, in true Lewis fashion, announced a few days ago to the team and the world that this year would be his last.  He ripped his triceps in October and sat out until the playoffs.  Turns out he enjoyed that time off watching his sons play football, and he plans to do that now for the time being.  Smart of Lewis to use this to boast his teams hunger.  The Ravens will want to put a trophy in Lewis' hands just because he is the heart and soul of this team.  It will be their Jerome Bettis moment if they pull it off.  I'm not sure they can go that far, but I'm pretty sure they can take down the Colts.  Andrew Luck will have to play his heart out today against a stellar defense, and the Colts defense will have to play their heart out against Joe Flacco who is trying hard to earn some respect in this league.  I sure hope the little rookie and the team that could will win.

Seattle over Washington - This is my other back and forth game.  Now I'm wishing I had taken the Redskins, but my picks are turned in.  It's two rookies against one another.  Russell Wilson vs. RGIII.  My pick for Rookie of the Year goes to Russell Wilson as I've stated and a win here would make believers of others.  Seattle is a team that is scrappy, is sneaking in under the radar, and has a great defense.  Washington has a good quarterback.  While I'm pulling for the 'Skins, I think Seattle wants it more.

Notre Dame vs. Alabama - Is anyone besides a Fighting Irish fan picking Notre Dame to upset the reigning champs?  I've watched them several times this year and I wouldn't count them out quite yet.  Doesn't mean I'm picking them either, but I'll pull for them.

Peyton scores another award - Manning took home his sixth Offensive Player of the Month Award, his second this year.  Won't mean a thing to him if he doesn't also have a ring to go along with it.

Ray Lewis retiring - Smart move to announce it now.  I like hearing that he wants to see his kids play.  Supposedly has an ESPN job lined up.  Great defender, but not one of my favorite people.  He did a lot for the city of Baltimore and he certainly knew how to fire up his team, but his legal battles turned me off of him...that and he played for the Ravens.

Coaches shuffle - Two more coaches were fired on Black Friday; Ken Whisenhunt of the Arizona Cardinals and Norv Turner of the San Diego Chargers.  Now comes the recycling and musical chairs and teams trade off.  Old Eagles coach, Andy Reid, against my advice, did not take the year off like I suggested, but instead signed a five year contract with the Kansas City Chiefs.  Not a smart move in my opinion, but he is a man in a man's league and heaven's no he doesn't need time off to take care of personal issues. 

Many offensive coordinators are looking good to several different teams; Pittsburgh's offensive coordinator Todd Haley, who didn't do much this year for the Steelers, old Pittsburgh offensive coordinator now with the Colts, Bruce Arians, and Denver Bronco's offensive coordinator Mike McCoy.  While many Steelers fans, and perhaps Big Ben, won't be sorry to see Haley take another job, I wonder what is up with the Cardinals who are pursuing him.  First they took Ken Whisenhunt and now they want Haley?  Are they wishing they were the Steelers?  Bruce Arians proved himself in the head coaching job this year while taking over the team this year while current coach Chuck Pagano fought cancer, but I'm not sure Arians wants to be in front or to leave the Colts.  As for McCoy?  We are thinking this guy is the one who turned around the Broncos?  Uh, hello, that reason is a man named Peyton Manning.

Also being interviewed is Oregon's Chip Kelly, who if he is smart, will take a look at the record of great college coaches who moved into the NFL, hello Nick Saban and Steve Spurrier, and kindly decline any offer.  Coaching these big egos in the NFL isn't the same as coaching at the college level.  Why give up a good thing with the Ducks?

Lance Armstrong weighing admitting drug use - Jeez, here we go again.  Is competing again really that important?  If I were him, I would have just shut the hell up.  Hearsay, hearsay, hearsay from guys that didn't win seven Tours.  No blood proof.  His own denials.  Someone shut this guy up already!

Tennis - Starts in a few weeks and already the favorites are looking to be Serena Williams and Andy Murray.

Basketball - Didn't that use to be important in my life?

There was no 2012 Christmas card

I received this email in my box yesterday from my friend Sharon C. I answered her and then got to thinking that everyone might be wondering the same thing so here is my response.

Email from Sharon:

Okay... Where is my Christmas card?

1) I am assuming it got lost in the mail.
2) Someone stole it from my mail box.
3) You let someone else mail it and it is sitting in their car.
4) You don't have time to mail a card to your friend, Sharon.
5) You forgot to send me one.
6) Darcy set it down while walking through the house.
7) You could not get any one to sit still.
8) You sent one from your Mom instead.
9) Your computer is broken.
10) You don't care this year.

JUST WHAT IS IT? WHERE IS MY CARD?

Email response from me (with some embellishments added that I didn't send her)

1) You assume wrong. There was never a card.
2) No one stole my card from your mailbox because a card never was in your mailbox. There was never a card.
3) I did not put anyone else in charge of mailing my card because I never made a card.
4) If there had been a card I would have mailed yours first. There was never a card.
5) I have a very good Christmas card list on my computer. Your name is in it. Had there been a card I would not have forgotten because my list is iron clad.
6) Darcy sets down quite a few things while walking through our house, but mostly they all belong to her. There was no card for her to set down.
7) Now this is closest to the truth. First, I did not have, in all my millions of 2012 photos, one of Madison and Darcy together to make a card. Second, Tom always complains that I don't make cards with us on it. Third, no one would ever pose together whenever Kelly was around to take a photo. Thus...there was never a card.
8) Yes, this is true. I took the picture of my Mom Connie, made the card, addressed and mailed half the cards. The rest she addressed and had her neighbor mail. I consider this an accomplishment because I never made my own card.
9) Heavens no! Have you forgotten that I married a computer man? Not only does he program those things, but he can take them apart and rebuild them. There was no card.
10) Well, now I feel sort of guilty. I guess I didn't care enough to force a picture. I did think I would send out a New Year's card instead. Do I still have time for that?

THERE WAS NO DAMN CARD! GET OVER IT!

Love you! Happy New Year!
Cara