Saturday, January 26, 2013

Our parents just might have known it all

As a mother I am finding out, especially as I age, that I am more like my own parents then I swore I would be.  There are moments when I'm explaining myself and listening to my daughters explain themselves that I experience deja vu, only this time my role is reversed.  I am able to see this and to apologize to my mother, but I also like to think that I am more open and "hip" with my girls then I think our parents were with us.

My theory was tested yesterday when I read a section of our newspaper written by high school students.  There were two articles written by two different teens that caught my eye.  The first article was, Things our parents don't understand about us, written by Alexa Beaulieu.  I read the article to see the things I supposedly didn't understand about my teens.

  1. Teens are obsessed with Facebook - Hell, yes, there are days that I'm obsessed with Facebook.  And I've got to tell you this...my teens don't get that.  My oldest has Facebook and my youngest doesn't and for the most part neither care one way or the other. 
  2. Teens have as much work as adults what with school and all - Yep, I am in tune with that one and I agree with the statement.  My oldest gets up at 5:30 in the morning, starts school by 7:00 am, and doesn't finish up her day until midnight sometimes so I know that her work life is just as hard as her father's and mine.
  3. Teens don't care that their rooms are messy - According to the article, parents telling them to clean their rooms bothers them more than having a messy room.  While I understand this I don't give a damn.  My house is one story and I have to pass by my eldest daughter's room every time I walk to the bathroom or to my own room.  She isn't a slob, but she doesn't make her bed and her laundry is smelly and piles up.  The other daughter is a down right slob and sometimes I can't even walk into her room without injuring myself.  And that is why I tell her to clean her room.
  4. It is necessary that teens have smartphones - I agree with this one. My husband made me get one myself, like he made me get Facebook and Twitter, because this is the way the world is heading.  Both my kids have smartphones.  Understand.
  5. That it is possible to socialize on video games - Well, my kids don't play or socialize on video games, but I see other kids do it, and again I understand it as just like the smartphones and Facebook it is the way the world is changing.
  6. Teens music choices; yes, they like rap - I listen to all types of music, including rap.  In fact since watching American Idol this season my new girl is Nikki Minaj, and Flo-rida has always been my man so I guess I understand that teens like it too.  Although, honestly, my kids don't listen to rap.
  7. Teens sometimes need to be alone - Don't we all?  Check.
  8. Why they don't tell us "what's happenin' " - Funny thing about this article is that while the author understands that parents were once teens too, she doesn't really understand that.  She can't until she is my age and trying to explain it to her teen.  I understand this one way more than my teens know.
  9. Teens vocabulary - She may have me on this one as I don't know the teen language of most.  I know my own teens vocabulary fairly well, and I'm getting pretty knowledgeable on the texting lingo.
  10. Teens have a ton of pressure - Yes, I understand this one.  My teen years and prior were way more laid back and relaxed.  We didn't need to have our career choice planned out before high school.  We were actually given a chance to be kids.  Sucks to be a teen today in a lot of pressure filled ways.
Perhaps this author should have asked her parents what they don't understand about teens instead of assuming.  While she might not like her parents griping about cleaning and music and video games, they aren't doing it because they don't understand.  My list of things I don't understand would be more along the lines of:
  1. Why teen males wear pants three times their size? - They don't fit.  They fall and sag so far down that they throw off their gait and everyone can see their underwear.  Don't get it.
  2. Why can't my teen roll out of bed in the morning when her alarm goes off? - Okay, so she sleeps hard.  Well, why doesn't she roll out after I come in and wake her....five times?  Don't get it.
  3. Why do teens have to be so disrespectful? - Run into quite a few sullen, mouthy teens while I'm out and about.  Have had some of my teenagers friends spout off some crap to me that was inappropriate in my thinking.  Don't get it.
  4. Why can't my youngest put her personal stuff away? - Already posted this one on here.  Don't get it.  As a teen I wanted my stuff in my own space and not where my parents could get a hold of it.
  5. Why do my teens like showering in a moldy tub? - Yes, I understand they don't want to have to clean and this goes along with the messy bedroom theory, but I don't get enjoying filth.
I'm relieved to see that I understand most of the things that teens think I don't understand.  I think the list is more what the author doesn't like being questioned about more than a lack of understanding.  The bottom line is that we have gone through most of these teen angst issues with some variations and we know how things turn out.  We know that things on Facebook can lead to problems such as expulsions from school.  We know that someday you might have to live with and share a room with another person who might resent sloppiness.  We know that while you enjoy your smartphone the thing costs money.  We also know that while you say you won't be like we are when you are parents that is not the way it ends up.  Unfortunately, our parents and your parents just might have been...well, right about a lot of things.

1 comment:

Susan said...

With today's kids I do NOT know it all...they change on a daily basis...I'm so glad I grew up in the 80's...when my parents thought it was so bad...the things that I read, see and hear...I'm convinced that parents don't have a chance...unless you lock your kids in a room and never let them out!