I am a neighbor

Not long after Madison was born we were attending a party in the neighborhood and I got roped into joining the board of our Homeowner's Association.  I had only volunteered to write the monthly newsletter, but somehow ended up as the treasurer, but as the other members on the board were as laid back as I was it became a meeting I looked forward to each month, especially as it got me out of the house.  There were seven of us on the board and we were very relaxed in our standards.  The bylaws were very archaic, having been written in the early 60's, and when I suggested rewriting them to update them everyone pooh poohed that because we needed a majority vote of a certain percent and since only one or two people showed up at our annual meetings everyone figured it would never get passed.  We spent the next several years keeping the status quo, going after homeowners only when another homeowner complained.  We had one man who rode the neighborhood on his bike each month writing down violations to the bylaws and sending them to us by our monthly meeting.  They were things like a hedge was over 6 feet tall, grass was too high, a trailer was parked past the allotted amount of days, etc.  Whomever was in charge of that violation would talk to the homeowner and hopefully it was resolved.  We never sued anyone despite having a lawyer on retainer.

As treasurer it was my job to make sure everyone paid the yearly dues of $30.  That's it.  Thirty dollars a year.  I was horrified to discover that quite a few people did not cough up the thirty dollars and I made it my mission to rectify this problem.  By the time I left my position I had gotten us a nice little tidy sum of back dues and had about three fourths of the 450 homes paying their dues each year.  One of the real problems I faced was when a property was sold.  We were not notified when a new homeowner moved in.  We had one board member who would scour the paper each Sunday and write down homes in our neighborhood that had sold, and I would add them to my database, but by the time my notices would go out I didn't remember who was new to the neighborhood.

I sent out a letter to a new homeowner reminding them of their back dues.  It was the standard chain letter of legality that I think I found in back records with the threat of a lien against their property if the dues weren't paid in a timely manner.  The female homeowner called me and left a message on my machine complaining of the tone of my letter.  "What a way to welcome me to this neighborhood," her message said.  "I would have appreciated a person to person communication alerting me to the fact that the previous owner was a deadbeat.  I would have worked out this issue with my realtor and I would certainly pay this year's dues that I owe."  She continued to admonish me about how unfriendly the letter was for someone who was new to the neighborhood.  It really got me thinking.  I called her, but ended up speaking with her husband instead.  I explained how I didn't know who was new and who was old and he reiterated their concerns.  We ended up working out the issues, but it taught me something.  Homeowner's Associations have to be strong, but they don't have to be nasty.  We are all neighbors in the long run and neighbors should be helpful to one another instead of unkind.  We should be offering to trim our neighbors' hedges instead of secretly writing down their property numbers and submitting it to the board.

Flash forward several years.  Last week we received a notice from the board that our lawn was not in compliance with the new bylaws, which were re-written a year ago.  The letter was nasty and demanding and threatening.  They "demand(ed" that we initiate corrections.  They threatened us with fines and lawyers and the Florida statue.  They had taken and enclosed a picture of our house and lawn with the bylaws written out for us.  They did not, however, spell out which of the seven compliances we were breaking. 

1. Lawns shall extend to the curb line and exist primarily of grass and/or Florida-friendly landscaping.
2. No gravel or paved parking strips are allowed except attached to driveways.
3. No weeds, underbrush, or other unsightly growths and no refuse pile or unsightly objects.
4. All lawns must be mowed regularly so that the grass is not over 5 inches in height.
5. Grass shall have an overall green appearance.
6. All flower beds are to be maintained without weeds and unsightly growths.
7. All shrubbery, trees and bushes are to be trimmed included removal of dead portions or branches.

Immediately, I was on the defense.  While our yard is certainly not a pristine piece of real estate that will win awards in a gardening magazine we have spruced up our home and yard in the past two years.  We have painted our house and recently Tom planted a nice little area (not in the photograph sent to us) with new trees and flowers.  Compared to houses in the neighborhood, namely the burned rental property on our own street, our house and yard isn't bad.  I was furious.  Now I've become that guy on the bike as I walk Elliot around the neighborhood pointing out to him all the yards I see that are in violation.  Why we got chosen to receive a letter is anyone's guess. 
Tom, on the other hand, was more relaxed.  He didn't care for the tone of the letter or for the fact that we had no idea what they were in disapproval over, but he was nonchalant over it all as he was planning to do something about the lawn in the spring.  As it is winter and as Florida is under a two day only watering restriction we are quite limited in what will grow.  He wrote a letter back to them admonishing them on their demanding tone, assuring them we were good homeowner's, asking them for clarification, and assuring them we would be doing more things with our landscaping come April.

In the picture they sent us there is a small dead branch off our tree lying on the side of the road.  In Tom's letter he made sure to reference that "refuse" from a recent storm that was "removed by the next garbage collection cycle."  My neighbor wanted him to just list that as the course of action by saying, "Picked up dead branch out of the road the next day."  My main neighbors, like Tom, find the whole thing hilarious as they all have dead and/or no grass and are waiting for their letters.

We have not heard back yet from the Association, but I have given them speeches and written them more letters in my head as I walk around the neighborhood spotting violation after violation of the "Lawns and Landscaping" rules.  The bottom line goes back to what I learned while being on the other end of this situation.  We don't have to be ugly to one another.  An Association can be helpful and kind while maintaining the bylaws.  A solution might be to have a "help your neighbor" day where everyone helps a neighbor plant a flower or a tree or mow a yard.  There are reasons for some people's lack of compliance such as illnesses and loss of jobs.  Why not use some of our dues, now at $65 a year, to help that type of neighbor come into compliance?  I can guarantee that my violation, whatever it might be, is not a reason why a house hasn't sold or been purchased in my neighborhood, which is why we supposedly have an association.

When I was young I didn't know of any neighborly complaints in our area regarding yards and trees.  As kids we raked our neighbors yards without asking.  If someone needed help, it was given without questions.  I can't believe that that type of neighborly living is gone.  My dad always said to try kindness first in dealing with people.  I think our world has forgotten how to do just that. 

Recently my neighbor across the street dug up his yard to replace his sprinkler heads.  He is over 70.  My neighbor next door saw him doing this work and joined him without a word.  I saw them both working in the heat and brought them over lemonade.  It isn't hard to do.  It just takes being a neighbor.