Ever notice that every diet insists on portion sizes of whatever it is you put in your mouth? I suppose this is a necessity especially for someone like me who tends to eat larger than I should. Years ago, when I was younger and more able and more motivated and younger, I went on some diet someone else was doing. I lived at home and my mother had a scale that I could use to measure the weight of my food so that when it said I could have 4 oz. of fish I could weigh it to get exactly 4 oz. Which I did religiously. I don't have a scale in my own house now. Luckily for me my diet book helps me out. I am able to have 5 oz. of turkey, or fish, or chicken, or sometimes lean beef NO FRYING and the book tells me a 5 oz. portion is "the size of a deck and a half of playing cards".
The first thing that goes through my mind when reading this is that I collect playing cards. It is my stamp collection. My coin collection. And I have all sizes of playing cards. But then my brain kicks in and I realize that the author means a standard deck of playing cards don't-be-silly-Cara. But I'm one of those people who likes to follow directions when cooking. It drove my mother crazy that I couldn't just put a pinch of salt into the recipe but instead had to measure out the teaspoon. But that is the way I learned it in Home Economics and that is the way I was graded in Home Economics and that is something I have sort of learned to get past, but not really. So I want to hold the meat up against a deck of cards to make sure that it is the correct portion, but then the cards aren't in the kitchen but down the hall, which is farther then I want to go while I'm cooking, but then perhaps that would count as exercise, but no don't-be-silly-Cara. So I don't. I measure instead with my eyes, and I try to be honest. More honest then I am with the flavored creamer that I put into my coffee and carefully measure with a tablespoon, oh, my did I over pour into my cup? Oh well.
This diet is very interesting. While I like the eating of every 3 to 4 hours small meal portions with snacks in between it is also very tedious. Not much variety. Tons of fruits and vegetables and water which works well with the bodily functions... sometimes... but little in the area of well, anything else. There are choices some of the days. This week I had cream of wheat with nothing on it but a pat of butter and it was the most delicious thing ever oh, my god! Yesterday I also got to have pancakes and bacon. PANCAKES AND BACON. PANCAKES AND BACON. It happened to be on a day when I had to run an important errand after dropping off Darcy at school so my breakfast meal had to wait because I went back to bed after getting Madison off to school instead of eating. Choices.
I ran the errand and thought about going out to breakfast, but the pancakes were to be the portion size of a CD and I didn't know of any restaurant that served that size. Except for the Village Inn where they serve those CD sized pancakes with eggs, bacon, sausage, omelets, and potatoes and eggs. Which weren't part of my meal plan portion size or not. So I skipped the restaurant breakfast for one. Then I thought about going through McDonald's drive thru and ordering their pancakes because, although I can honestly say I've never ordered them, I have tasted a bite a long time ago. I also vaguely thought they were about the right size, but then I told myself no. I had pancake mix at home and bacon. The book said bacon and then later at the end added, "Try turkey bacon" so I took that as I could have pig bacon, but I should try the kind from a turkey, but it is okay to have the pig kind. And since that is the kind I had in my refrigerator I planned on eating the pig bacon.
I went home and cute up the required pear that went along with the pancakes and bacon. I whipped the mix and poured out two pancakes the size of a CD into the skillet. I put in three pieces of bacon, one for the dog, into the microwave and cooked everything up. I was allowed a pat of butter on the pancakes and 1 and 1/2 tablespoons of syrup. I am not one of those people who pours syrup directly on to the pancake. I don't necessarily care for a lot of syrup. I put the syrup on a plate and dip the bites of pancake into that before eating. I wasn't concerned about the amount of syrup. In fact 1 and 1/2 tablespoons seemed excessive. When everything came out it smelled wonderful and delicious and looked mouthwatering. I spent considerable time inhaling the smell of it all first. Then just to be sure I had it all complete I re-read the meal plan in the book, and that is when I saw directly after "2 pancakes plus 2 strips of bacon" and in parentheses, "(no more than 5 inches in diameter...)".
Last week I could have had pancakes (and chose not to because of time constraints what-an-idiot-thing-that-was) the size of a CD and just went with that size this week. When I read this part this week I completely missed the word diameter (remember this is a diet and thus the brain hasn't had much fat and sugar staples that my brain needs) and took it to mean the length of the bacon. Which made me think. Does bacon come in different sizes? And I looked at my two slices of bacon and measured it with my fingers and then measured it with a ruler because I had one in my junk drawer. The bacon was six inches long. An inch past what I was allowed, in my head, to have. What to do? What to do? And without putting a lot of thought into it I broke off the offending inch and ate it. Now my bacon was the correct length. And I sat down and gobbled, slowly, the entire delicious, mouthwatering meal.
It wasn't until I got the book out to write this entry that I actually saw the word "diameter" and realized I had it all wrong from the beginning. Who has bacon 5 inches in diameter? No, no, I'm kidding. I got it now. He meant the pancakes. Why he changed it up from last week's entry when he doesn't change anything else up in the book day to day is beyond me, but I've got it straight now. Which really kind of defeats the point of this entry now that being portion sizes. But it's all good. Portion sizes on this diet are spelled out sometimes and not spelled out other times, and I think that if I just eyeball it all with my eyes and not my stomach I should be good. Hmpf.
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