Friday, March 06, 2015

Always carry a sharpie


I took my friend out yesterday for a birthday breakfast at a small, quaint restaurant. We sucked down some mimosas, coffee, and homemade french toast while we discussed our woes, our joys, and getting older. Having downed all that liquid, I excused myself for the ladies room. It is a one woman room with antique flowered wallpaper, a pedestal sink, a small armoire, and a toilet.

Said toilet was full from the last person's business. This is an annoyance to me, but I am not squeamish about fecal or urine, and when I encounter this in public restrooms I usually flush the evidence while lamenting aloud about the difficulties of doing so. Having seen the dignified, older woman with the designer handbag exit the bathroom, I knew that there must be a problem with the toilet. Then I saw the note.

I attempted to follow the directions, and when this did not work for me as it obviously did not work for the other woman, I shrugged and used the toilet. When you have to take care of business you have to take care of business. As I said, I'm not squeamish. My friend, however, is a bathroom snot. I have written before about her obsession with bathroom etiquette, and knowing that she was next in line, I knew I would have to fix this issue.

I finished my business, took the back of the lid off of the toilet, reached my hand into the tank and pulled up the stopper. The toilet flushed. I put everything back together again and washed my hands...twice. I left the bathroom and returned to my table. I leaned down to my friend and whispered, "Good Luck. There is an issue with the toilet. I may or may not have fixed it." She rolled her eyes, made a snarky comment about how hard does it have to be to keep a bathroom in working order, and she got up and went into the bathroom.

When she returned a few minutes later she looked aghast. "I couldn't flush the toilet," she said as she sat down. "I did what the note said, but it didn't work." She looked at me. "Did you put that note on the toilet?"

Yes. Because I always carry a small notebook, a roll of tape, and a sharpie for just those types of moments. Call me handy.

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