Saturday at The Condo - Part I

My brother and I inherited The Condo, the residence that my mother lived in thirty minutes from my house. The last year and a half of her life I have had the task of weeding through the medical equipment and personal belongings deciding what to keep and what to pitch. I have done three different thorough cleanings and sweepings of the place, and this past Christmas my brother and I did another. While I wouldn't be opposed to selling the place my brother isn't ready to do that and so we have talked about renting it. To do this I have decided that various things have to happen, and so I've made a list and have been working to get through the tasks. One of the tasks was taking down her waterbed because I had visions of some rental person breaking it and water gushing into the condo below. I had also heard from my SIL and brother that it wasn't very comfortable and so I just decided we should remove the whole thing and replace it with a normal mattress. To do this, however, I felt I needed my husband who is an expert in dealing with waterbeds. Saturday he decided was the day he would tackle the task.

He armed himself with his waterbed kit and a hose for draining and we went to The Condo. In the master bedroom is the bed, a nightstand with a broken drawer, a chest of drawers, a small, but heavy chair that use to belong to my MIL and sat in her living room, a corner desk, and an armoire that houses an old TV complete with built in VCR and DVD players. The only light in the room comes from an old light/fan combination with a chain that runs from the ceiling to the wall where it is plugged into an outlet. For years my mother asked my husband, he with the electrical engineering degree, to replace the fan with a more modern one, but as I remember it he examined that job and deemed it a large one. It never got done. There is also a little lamp on the nightstand, but it casts less light than the flashlight that came with my Iphone, and a small window that lets in pretty much nothing. To turn on the light in the room one has to pull the chain on the light/fan combination because the light switch on her wall doesn't work and is covered with tape so that no one messes with it. It has been that way since she bought the place and my husband has been in that room many a times over the years to build her desk and to work on her computers, printers, and cable connections.

The master bedroom after Mom died

We enter The Condo and Tom went directly to the master bedroom not bothering to look around and admire all of the cleaning and clearing out of stuff that I have done.

Tom: "How do I turn on the light in here?"
Me: "Pull the switch with the ball on the fan."
Tom: "That's stupid."

He got the light on and I opened the blinds on the window and turned on the little lamp on the nightstand. We unzipped the mattress and discovered that the waterbed was made up of seven skinny tubes filled with water that were easily pulled out. My husband was beside himself with glee at this discovery.

Tom: "This is easy. I didn't even need a hose. I'll just take these tubes out and empty them outside."
Me: "Great! I'm sorry. I didn't look inside this mattress to see what was in here. But I still need you to lift the tubes as they are too heavy for me and my back."

He went to work hauling the tubes outside and emptying them. He cut the mattress and foam up into pieces and chucked the whole lot in the large garbage dumpster on the property. The whole process took less than an hour and he returned dusting off his hands to find me shredding documents, and when the shredder got overheated, cleaning behind the bed.

Tom: "Was that it?"
Me: "No, I'd like you to take down the computer too."
Tom: "Why?"
Me: "Because if we rent the place I don't want them using her computer. She probably has all sorts of personal crap on that thing."
Tom: "That's easy to fix."
Me: "I'm not going to rent the place with a computer. No one needs a computer. People bring their own laptops or smart devices nowadays."
Tom: "I don't agree. I think you can charge $25 more a month by saying it comes with a computer."
Me: "OMG! Are you serious? No! NO! I just want the computer taken down. No one is going to pay more for an old computer that takes forever to connect. Why are you asking me what you can do if you're just going to argue with me? I also want the desk taken down and out of here too. Are you going to argue with that too?"
Tom: "Yes. Why would you take out the desk?"
Me: "Because I think it is silly it is in a bedroom. It is hard to get to and why would someone on vacation want a desk?"
Tom: "Everyone likes a desk. I would leave that here with the computer."
Me: "You're just trying to irritate me. This is a bedroom. The desk doesn't need to be in here."
Tom: "But it fits in here."
Me: "It doesn't. The only fit is that it is a corner unit in the corner. I'm going to put the chair there because where the chair sits now people hit it on the way into the bathroom. Connie always rammed into that chair with her wheelchair and her leg."

He argued some more with me, but in the end he took down the computer. To do that he had to get down on his hands and knees and take apart all of the cable company's rigging of equipment that included the internet, the cable for two televisions, and the telephone. He mumbled and griped aloud about what a terrible job the cable guy had done and how ridiculous the entire set up was and he told me he was going to change it all and improve on it. I didn't argue with him and let him do what needed to be done.

He had the computer taken down and wrapped up in less than an hour. He wandered off into the living room and turned on the television to watch his alma mater play basketball. I was busy continuing my line of weeding through stuff and eventually he returned into the bedroom.

Tom: "Do you want me to take down this desk?"
Me: "Yes. I want the desk out of here."
Tom: "I could take it apart and haul it out of here that way if you want."
Me: "However you do it is fine with me."
Tom: "Well are you going to put it somewhere else in here?"
Me: "No. I have no use for that large, bulky, heavy desk."
Tom: "Do you have any tools here?"
Me: "Yes, I have an entire tool box of tools here in the hallway closet."
Tom: "Do you have an Allen wrench? That's what I need to take down this desk."
Me: "No, I do not have an Allen wrench. Dammit. I did have an Allen wrench. I had like twenty of them when Gigi and I last cleaned, but I took most of them home."
Tom: "Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you leave them here?"
Me: "For what? I didn't think I needed twenty Allen wrenches for renters. Why would they need them?"
Tom: "Well, to take down this desk for one."

He went off to investigate the tool box despite my assuring him there were no Allen wrenches. He never believes me when I tell him things and has to check for himself. He discovered I was right and decided to run to the hardware store to buy some and pick up some lunch. He wanted me to come with him, but I told him I could get more done while he was gone. Off he went, calling me once for a lunch order. When he returned he was very proud of himself because he had found a set of Allen wrenches for $1.99 on the clearance table. We ate and then went back to work.

Feeling guilty he was missing his game I opened the armoire and attempted to turn on the TV to put the game on in the bedroom. While the TV came on the cable box kept shutting itself off after giving me a message that said, "You are not authorized to use this cable box. Please call...." That annoyed me immensely because I've been continuing her cable payment since she died.

Tom: "Call them."
Me: "I can't. You unhooked the phone."
Tom: "Use your cell phone."
Me: "I can't because they will want a bunch of information, and I don't have that. If I call from the home phone they have it all already and don't bother me."
Tom: "What information will they need?"
Me: (sighing) "The phone is still in her name so they ask me account information and I don't have that stuff here. It's all at home. Just trust me on this. Just finish what you are doing and hook the phone back up."
Tom: "The phone situation is retarded. You need a remote base, but you don't have a phone for that base. But the other phones won't work without the remote base. How stupid is that?"
Me: "Who cares? That's not a priority right now."
Tom: "What happened to the phone?"
Me: "It didn't work. There was something wrong with it when Mom was alive. We tried fixing it, but it didn't work. Gigi and I threw the damn thing away. Who cares? The phones work fine when they are all hooked up."
Tom: "Because what's the point of a base with no phone. Doesn't make sense."
Me: "Concentrate on the desk, would you?"

He did. He used his new Allen wrench set and piece by piece he took down the desk. I helped him holding pieces as he took them apart and carrying them into the other room to make a pile. Eventually the desk was all down. It took longer than an hour. While I cleaned the carpet under the desk he turned his attention to the drawer in the armoire where I had discovered a bunch of computer stuff that Tom had, long ago, put into the drawer.

Tom: "Look at this stuff. Do you know how old this stuff is?"
Me: "I can guess."
Tom: "I mean look at this. This is her Roadrunner set up kit. That hasn't been around for years. You're not looking. Aren't you even curious?"
Me: "Not in the least. It doesn't have anything to do with what we are doing or using now. Throw it out."

He excitedly went through the drawer. He tossed everything out but the Roadrunner kit and then turned to putting back all of the cable set up the "correct way". Since he was in my way I sat down in the chair and watched and listened to him as he worked cursing out the cable guy.

Tom: "I mean, was this guy a moron? Why wouldn't you put everything together in one place? He has this spread out all over the place. He may have thought he was simplifying everything, but really he was making more work for himself. I'm going to fix it. What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm sitting here watching you. You're in my way now. I was working in that corner cleaning up that stuff on the carpet, but I can't do that with you there."
Tom: "Why don't you call the cable company and get that fixed."
Me: "Is the phone hooked back up yet?"
Tom: "Not yet. Use your cell phone."
Me: "I already told you I can't do that. Trust me on that."
Tom: "You won't know until you try."
Me: "OMG TOM! I don't want to try. I don't want to get into that whole account thing in the wrong name dispute tonight. I'm tired now. If I call from the home phone they will just assume I'm Connie and take care of everything that way. Why can't you just believe me on that?"

I watched him untangle wires and cords and plug things in and unplug things. He pulled up several cords and questioned their existence. He followed cords from outlets to equipment. Eventually he had all of the equipment on the armoire shelf above the television where the cable dvr box was sitting, and he went to work putting everything on one outlet.

Tom: "Try the phone now."
Me: "It doesn't work."
Tom: "It has to work."
Me: "Well, it doesn't."
Tom: "That's because you really should have a landline phone. I know you don't understand that, but that's what we need."
Me: "Okay, but the phones worked just fine until you unplugged them, landline or not. Who cares that the remote base phone is missing? As long as the base is hooked up the other phones will work just fine. Plug the damn thing in."
Tom: "You said it doesn't work."
Me: "It doesn't."
Tom: "Give me the phone in your hand and let me try it in this remote base."
Me: "That makes no sense to me, but here."
Tom: "Maybe I have to plug it directly into the wall."
Me: "It was plugged into the computer so plug it into the cable modem thing."
Tom: "It is plugged into that. There are too many phone jacks in this room. It is all too crazy. What was this guy thinking? There. Now it works."

And it did. And so I dialed the three digit number that got me into the land of the cable company, thinking this was finally going to be the last thing we did. Boy, was I wrong.