Springing forward

Living in Florida, I've come to enjoy winter. Most of the time here in the sunshine state the weather turns cool, and many days it is darn cold, but it is such a nice respite from the heat that I embrace it. This year I looked forward to it because my hot flashes disappear in colder weather. Just my luck. I moved here to escape the cold, and now I might have to leave here to escape the heat. More proof that we are never happy or satisfied.

Spring in Florida is all over the place. It can be cool. It can be beautiful with temperatures in the 70's or it can be hot and everyone moans because we all believe that means a miserable summer. Floridians love to hate summer. I used to dread spring because it meant getting organized for swim season, and while I loved teaching, it was hard to get back into the groove and then cancel lessons due to cool spring weather. Now I find I dread spring because it is when my parents died, and there is the whole remembrance of those dates.

When my brother called me to tell me my father had died, I remember asking my husband for the date. Even then, in my grief, I felt I needed to commit that date to memory. I blame him for that. He kept a little black date book and every new year he would transfer all of the important dates from his old book into the new book; birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and deaths. He always had that book on his person. As the years passed, his death date didn't always pop into my head, and sometimes it wasn't until someone reminded me or until that evening that I remembered the significance of the date.

I think it's odd to want to remember the day someone died. The day my dad died was horrific, or at least it was after I got the news, and why would I want to remember that? Now I've had to add my mother's death date to memory, and I definitely don't consider that day a good one. While my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly, my mother took five days in hospice to die. I'm not sure which is worse.

One died in March, the other in April. Spring. The time of renewal is more the season of death. I decided this year as winter was waning and spring was lurking that I would spend those two months remembering my parents instead of focusing on the dates of their deaths. I've welcomed spring with good memories, stories, and photos, and I've taken more time to do so than just one day. I like this way much better.